Woke up this morning, smiled at the rising sun...

hola blogworld.

this time tomorrow i'll be in nyc. it still hasn't hit home yet, but i'm getting more and more stoked by the minute. i have no clue how i'm ever going to get to sleep tonight. mom said she has a surprise in store for us saturday night, i think we're going to mass on sunday, and i'm really looking forward to checking out the statue of liberty and ellis island. oh yeah, and just walking around nyc.

this year's merry christmas madness was a huge success. we had to tone down the list a little bit, and there were def some naysayers trying to rain on the parade, but we triumphed and had almost 40 kiddos participate this year, almost half of which had never been to our church before. that has me really stoked too. i think the funniest thing i did this year was convince a stranger to shoot a marshmallow out of his nose.

best conversation ever.
- i think we need to talk about this year's list for merry christmas madness.
- okay.
- some of this stuff doesn't seem appropriate.
- like...
- well, i think it said on there to pick a teammates' nose.
- oh yeah.
- that's kind of gross.
- yeah, nobody did that one last year.
- why is it on the list?
- the kiddos came up with the list, they thought it was pretty funny and gross.
- and you approve?
- yeah, it's pretty funny.
- i don't think we should be doing things as a youth group that are embarrassing.
- it's gross, but i don't know about embarrassing.
- there shouldn't be anything on there that would embarrass the elders.
- if we're going by what they would do it's going to be a pretty short list.
- i can't believe you think this is okay.
- yeah, it takes a lot to pick someone else's nose.
- are you kidding me?
- well, this event is about creating memories and doing crazy things to get the kids out of their shells.
- by picking each others' noses?
- it does create a unique bonding experience
- it's gross.
- it's a memorable relationship bonding moment. it asks the kids to step out of their comfort zones for a second and do something that might forge a relationship with someone they go to church with. there's a pretty big community building thing going on there.
- you're talking about picking noses.
- yep.
- just take it off the list.

the serious.
last night i ran across a homeless guy sleeping on the balcony at the church. supposedly, i'm to ask people to leave the property but i couldn't do it last night. i talked to him for a while, and he said he remembered me giving him a bottle of water this summer on a hot day. we talked for a couple of minutes, then he said he was going up to the grocery store to get something warm to eat. i gave him a ride to the store and a few bucks to get a meal. he said he was good to go and thanked me for my kindness.
it's nights like last night where i remember how truly blessed i am. i live in a nice apartment, in a safe town, and make a pretty good living. i'm headed to new york city for christmas to spend a week with mi madre and mi hermana. i have what i want for christmas. i have more than i need. here's to all the people who are spending christmas alone, in the rain, or simply having another tuesday.

i'm finding out more and more that people around the church are noticing that i've become a much happier person. i feel it too. bad days just aren't that bad lately. i'm not sure of what the exact reasons are for this, but i do have several educated guesses going back a few months. i think a lot of it has to do with me listening to my heart a lot more lately, and not trying to be a minister. this feeling of being more and more genuine is addicting. every time i do something that feels right, i feel right. i wish i could describe it more eloquently, but it is approaching 2 am.

books on tape.
my newest addiction. so far i've listened to velvet elvis, wild at heart, dennis miller, and i've got several more lined up. i kid you not when i say that i'm excited to spend all day on a plane tomorrow with my ipod.

well merry christmas and happy hanukkah to all those that i love.

one love, one heart.


'Today I didn't even have to use my A.K., I got to say it was a good day.' - Ice Cube

So much of today was great. But it's so easy to let the one downer take over the day.

I refuse to do that today.

I woke up early and enjoyed a good breakfast with people that treat me like family.

I got to just sit and pray before making a bunch of phone calls, and God answered my prayers and then some.

Our office manager and his wife had me over for lunch, and then offered an invite to join the kiwanis club.

I'm going to check it out.

We had home made lasagna for lunch.

The pepsi was the perfect temperature.

I talked to mom for over an hour and we mostly laughed.

My christmas bundle from asian man records came in the mail.

Some of the kiddos called and made me laugh.

I plugged in our christmas lights at the apt and one of our neighbors smiled at me, and told me she liked our lights.

dinner was quick and cheap.

i watched most of the chronicles of narnia.

one lame phone call, immediately followed by another that put me back at ease.

I finished narnia, and put things into perspective.

I jammed on guitar for a few minutes.

Jimmy Kimmel was funny.

Now Oprah is giving stuff away.

I asked my friend for prayers.

He responded a few minutes later.

I ran across The High Calling, by G.D. Watson that made a huge impact on me a few months ago.

Now I'm listening to jack johnson getting ready to sleep.

That's right it was a good day.

one love, one heart.


"You promised me a rockin chair." - Mose Harper

i love calvin and hobbes comics. i ran across this collection of calvin and his demented snowmen today.

i had a map of simi valley on my wall today, and i was marking out where all of our kiddos from church lived. our office manager said my office looked like ctu.

american dream.
i'm a huge switchfoot fan. tonight at spark i used this song as means to talk about consumerism around christmas.

When success is equated with excess
The ambition for excess wrecks us
As top of the mind becomes the bottom line
When success is equated with excess

If you're time ain't been nothing for money
I start to feel really bad for you honey
Maybe honey put you're money where your mouth's been running
If you're time ain't be nothing but money

I want out of this machine
It doesn't feel like freedom

This ain't my American dream
I want to live and die for bigger things
I'm tired of fighting for just me
This ain't my American dream

When success is equated with excess
When we're fighting for the beamer, the lexus
As the heart and soul breathing the company goals
Where success is equated with excess

I want out of this machine
It doesn't feel like freedom


Cause baby's always talkin 'bout a ring
And talk has always been the cheapest thing
Is it true would you do what I want you to
If I show up with the right amount of bling?

Like a puppet on a monetary string
Maybe we've been caught singing
Red, white, blue, and green
But that ain't my America,
That ain't my American dream


the line that sticks out to me is 'success is equated with excess'. it reminds me a lot of luke 12:15 where Jesus warns that, "a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

christmas list
the american dream song has been ringing in my head lately because i put together my annual christmas list for my mom a few days ago. i really had trouble this year because there's nothing that i really want that can be bought. me, mi madre, and mi hermana are going to spend a week together. that brings me more joy than any store bought 'thing' possibly could.

at this point, the only reason i even bother making a list is because of tradition. back in high school i turned my christmas list into a piece of art for mom and every years ice i've done the same. i don't even remember what i put on there for this year, but i know i like giving mom her own piece of art every year.
xmas list 07

another band that i've been listening to a lot lately is thrice. today was a perfect thrice day. i was trying to keep my energy up for class tonight even though i felt like garbage all day. later in the day it became overcast, and now it's raining. the latest thrice album, the alchemy index vol. 1 & 2 have been the perfect soundtrack for the day. the first six songs revolve around the element fire, and the last six revolve around water (their follow up with wind and earth should be out soon). anyways, the heavier fire songs were a perfect way to get stoked for hanging out with the kiddos tonight, and the water songs have been a perfect listen with the rain outside.

aside from the pace of the music, the lyrics really grabbed me today too. in the song the arsonist, i really liked the verse:

There is truth beneath the floorboards;
there is hope in brick and stone.
But they tell me just to shut my mouth;
leave well enough alone.
But I think maybe all that's needed,
is a match and gasoline;
because I don't think that any one of them believes that there will be a reckoning.

there's something powerful in the message there. it's a great call to arms to being passionate about being a revolutionary christian. the same song has a great line in the chorus:

I love this city, but I've set and numbered its days.
I love this city, enough that I'll set it ABLAZE.

wow. the idea that we might have to do something extreme to save what we love. i'm not really sure why this hits home so much right now in my life, but it really has struck a chord with me.

well, that's enough serious stuff. here's some stuff that's been cracking me up this week.

kent tekulve was a great pitcher back in the day. somebody made a t-shirt with his unmistakable silhouette on it. it's my nominee for t-shirt of the year.

and lastly, one of my favorite things in the world are really bad record covers. so here are a few really bad christmas album covers that i found.

racial sensitivity is a must.

polygamy does not go well with christmas.

which present to open first?

the two things i nerd out on the most cancel each other out to be really funny.

one love, one heart.



This came in the greatest email i've ever received.

G.I. Joe Movie
Release Date: August 7, 2009
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Director: Stephen Sommers
Screenwriter: Stuart Beattie
Starring: Sienna Miller
Genre: Action, Adventure
MPAA Rating: Not Available
Official Website: Not Available
Review: Not Available
DVD Review: Not Available
DVD: Not Available
Movie Poster: Not Available
Production Stills: Not Available
Plot Summary: The movie will be a modern telling of the "G.I. Joe vs. Cobra" storyline and its compelling characters that Hasbro created 25 years ago. The premise of this fantasy is the story of the G.I. Joe team, led by Duke, and their "fight for freedom wherever there is trouble" against the evil Cobra Commander and his Cobra force. This storyline was an instant hit with kids in the early 1980s, spawning a highly popular 3-3/4-inch action figure line, comic book collection and animated series. The G.I. Joe team will not be based in Brussels. Instead, they will be based out of the "Pit" as they were throughout the 1980s comic book series. And, in keeping with the G.I. Joe vs. Cobra fantasy, the movie will feature characters and locations from around the world. Duke, the lead character and head of the G.I. Joe team, will embody the values of bravery and heroism that the first generation of G.I. Joe figures established.

Coming Soon!

Oh man, you thought i went nuts over the transformers movie, that was just practice. nothing compares to G.I. Joe when it comes to nostalgia madness in my world. I want to go back in time and hi-five my seven year old self and tell him, "it's really going to happen!"

Dad would have been fifty three today. It's a number that means a lot to me. One of the first things I can remember knowing about my dad was that he used to fly helicopters. big ones. the biggest in the free world. The CH53 Sea Stallion.

I wanted to do something to honor dad today, but i couldn't think of anything special. i went on a short run, i put my truck into the shop again, i played guitar for a while and i read a bunch today. i cried a little, i prayed for a while, i talked to mi madre for a few minutes, and i watched hunt for red october (dad took me to see that for my 10th birthday). all in all it was a quiet monday.

turkey day.
was good. i spent it with a family from church. it was nice to vacation for a whole day in an actual house. we worked on the pool filter, ate a big lunch, watched football, played guitar, and ate pie. i was very thankful.

ska band.
i tried out for a ska band last night. i think i did all right, although it took me a while to get used to the drummer who was wearing a t-shirt that said 'i speak klingon'. more to come on this later.

i've decided to get really hyped this year with the christmas spirit. i may even go buy a tacky christmas sweater. all i know is last year we went all out decorating the apt and now i've got yuletide fever. oh yeah, and i'm addicted to gingerbread cookies ad gingerbread lattes.

so the dating scene around here has been interesting around here the last six months or so. for the first time in my life i've gone out with women that i hadn't met through church. we're not talking about a lengthy list by any means, but it has been a real learning experience. there's so much less pressure than going out with girls at church, because there's zero repercussion if it ends at a couple of dates. it's kind of nice to avoid that drama. and it's nice not have everyone in on my business. very nice. the only real hassle has come from females at church who are angry that i've 'given up' on them. a: i haven't given up on the church dating scene. b: i'm not going to go out with someone just because we're both single and we both go to the same church. there's a certain thing called interest that remains high on my priority list. and closely related is 3: nothing makes me feel less important than when i'm 'supposed' to go out with someone because there's no one else around. that line of thinking closely parallels that of the geniuses that come up with arranged marriages. by the way, statistically speaking, single 27 year olds outnumber married 27 year olds almost 3 to 1.

i'm a big fan of henry rollins. if you don't know who he is, he's the former lead singer of the hardcore punk band black flag, who now spends his time telling crazy stories and commenting on all of those vh1 'i love the...' tv shows. anyways, he's got some unique opinions on a lot of issues, and he's a very well thought out individual. on his show last week he was ragging on the blogging community, saying that we have an irrepressible desire to feel important that manifests itself in believing that the world needs to know what we are thinking. i have to disagree. while i do see some people using the blogosphere for that very purpose, i think the majority of folks that i have come across are just simply journaling. at least that's what i do. i try and write every week so that i can look back and see what was going on in my life at a certain time. i mean, in this blog alone i've written about g.i. joe, my dad, dating and thanksgiving.

well, i've got a busy week coming up, so i'm outta here.

one love, one heart.



Two of my kiddos came in to SPARK tonight calling me a hypocrite for ragging on mcdonald's all the time, then they handed me this...

mcdonalds bag

one love, one heart.


Sometimes nothing is a pretty cool hand.

veterans day.
on monday i actually celebrated veterans day. i started doing this a few years ago. it always bothered me that holidays get turned into days off, and i completely lose site of the fact that these days were set aside to remember something specific. veterans day for me is a time of deep appreciation, especially this year. i don't know why, but i've been in a very appreciative mode lately. anyways, what did i do to celebrate veterans day? i went up to the reagan library for a while and spent some time praying at the piece of the berlin wall that they have on display there. i ran into several vets and talked with them for a while about their experiences in korea. and then i decided to call the vets that we have at our church an thanks them for their service. i can think of no higher calling than be willing to put your life on the line for another person. in fact, this is one of the best descriptions the bible gives on what love looks like in action.
i encourage anyone reading this to sit down and share a cup of coffee with a veteran, and ask them for their story. it's an easy way to show your appreciation.

capri sun.
i got all nostalgic yesterday buying groceries when i saw a box of capri suns, so i bought a pack and was stoked to get home and drink one. as my stupid little yellow straw bent and then poked through the back of my pouch spilling grape drink all over my carpet i remembered why i stopped drinking these things in the first place. file capri sun under bad nostalgia.

beard update.
it's gone. i wasn't really awake when i started shaving yesterday and ended up shaving it off. so back to the ol' sideburns and gotee.

rob bell.
i went to thegodsarentangry tour the other night and was completely blown away. it's the best description of how religions start up that i've ever heard. i'd love to try and explain it, but i know i couldn't do his speech justice. so, i'm encouraging you to pick up the dvd or book whenever it comes out.

angels and airwaves.
if i could put together an album i would want it to sound like 'I-Empire'. simply amazing.

sometimes God works in the smallest moments of the day. a few days ago it was kind of cold here (for socal). i was stoked to get home and get warm, but when i opened the door i realized that we had forgotten to turn on the auto heat setting on our thermostat. normally i would be a little frustrated, but instead this time i kind of smiled and recognized that i am truly blessed to even have a place to live. i'm even more blessed that i have a place that will get warm in minutes. the funny thing is, i didn't even turn on the heat. i just threw on my favorite hoodie and read for a while.

i've got a pretty good sense of direction, but every once in a while i realize that a street that i thought went one direction actually runs completely perpendicular to what i thought. i was talking to a friend the other day and he said to travel south on this one road, and i asked him if he meant east. we finally got out the maps and i realized that he was right. dangit. this happened to me a lot at oc when there weren't any mountains for reference points. now there's too many mountains.

the zipper.
learn it. it's a simple concept. one car goes, and then another from the other lane. repeat. we've got to put an end to this double dipping, or shotblocking nonsense on americas roads.

an update on my decision this year to be informed. evidently being informed means you are supposed to listen to other people rant on about their candidate when you don't even know them and all you're trying to do is sit there with a friend and enjoy a gingerbread latte, and all of this starts because there happens to be a politically based headline on the newspaper that was already sitting at your table.

my neighborhood.
since i read okchick's blog, i consider myself tagged by her most recent post. the question posted was, 'what's your favorite place in your neighborhood?' without a doubt mine is the reagan library. my apt complex is at the base of the mountain so i like to head up there as much as i can. it has a great view towards the west, and on a clear day you can see the ocean. if you look north around sunset, you get an idea of what the song means when it says 'purple mountains majesty'. the inside of the library has a lot of interesting stuff, but my two favorite things are outside. the is a huge chunk of the berlin wall standing there, and it's covered in artwork which always inspires me. my favorite though, is reagan's memorial site that has my all time favorite quote on it,

I know in my heart that man is good.
That what is right will always eventually triumph.
And there's purpose and worth to each and every life.

berlin wall 2

well, that's about all i can write on this lunch break so...
one love, one heart.


Robert Goulet: 11/26/33 - 10/30/07

goulet graph

You stay well too Goulet.

one love, one heart.


"I rant, therefore I am." - Dennis Miller

guten tag.

the fires.
to start off with i'd like to thank everyone that's called or emailed me about the fires out here. san diego got hit the worst by far, but the ones up north have been pretty crazy too. if you know anyone at pepperdine they can give you a better description than i can of how bad it was, but i will say that from what i saw the fire was a few yards from devastating the campus. also, keep the folks from malibu presbyterian in your prayers. they lost their building in the fire. as for me, i was keeping an eye on the six flags fire due east of us about 20 miles, because there's nothing in between but mountains of brush.

one of my favorite events of the year is the national youth workers convention put on by youth specialties. this year the speakers all gave great messages and the seminars i went to really helped put things into perspective. francis chan from cornerstone really hit me hard with his talk on saturday. he talked about how his view of youth ministers changed when his daughter joined the youth group. it's so easy to get caught up in programming, pastoring, event planning, phone calls, studying... but the thing that needs to be the most prevalent is a love for Jesus. it's so easy to love ministry more than Jesus. it sounds weird to say, but i really got hit hard by this. and judging by the looks of those around me, i think it hit home with quite a few others as well. it was an odd idea at first, but the more i started comparing my love for Jesus to my love for ministry, my love for church, my love for being a part of kids lives, and my love for myself, i realized that things have been out of line for quite some time. i'm not sure how this plays out exactly, but i love wrestling with this idea. in my mind i've been running these competitions about who/what would win for my attention, and the reality of who/what does win my attention and it's been a humbling experience. it's so easy to be lukewarm.

nywc 2.
even if the sessions weren't that great, i would go just to have time hanging out with the youth ministry mafia. this year we decided to save money on hotels and crash at an empty condo that was up for sale. so we set up a projector and chilled every night wither watching movies, or playing nintendo wii (which i finally caved in and bought for our youth room). which, by the way, is the biggest prank one country has ever played on another. seriously, nintendo couldn't come up with a better name? anyways, hanging w/ the mafia was the perfect mix of accountability, jokes, terrible jokes, mockery, support, brainstorming, cynicism, hope, spirituality, and a lot of mexican food. needless to say, the fact that we were in san diego prompted me to give my usual 'd.j. reality mexican food tour' of my old stompin grounds. i doubt those guys eat mexican food for a month.

nywc 3.
i recognize that i am now officially a nerd after being really excited for the huge sale they have on all the new youth ministry stuff at the convention.

beard update.
i grew out my beard a few weeks ago and i've had some great mixed responses. one lady at church said i looked homeless. another said i looked distinguished and mature. my kiddos said i was just lazy. one chica at the coffee shop muttered under her breath 'indie-hipster', and another thought i was a cowboy (don't ask). so i guess my beard gives me that mature-lazy-distinguished-indie-cowboy-homeless-hipster look that's real popular these days. the worst comment though goes to valleygirl who asked if it itches, to which i replied that it didn't anymore, and she said that it must 'really be growing on me'. that hurts my head to think about. which leads me to...

the dreadful moment.
there are certain things in life that you just have come to accept. we are all growing older at the same rate, we are all terminal, and our bodies will not always be in the prime condition that we desire. i had a moment yesterday that i can not turn back from. it's one of those moments where you realize that your life has moved from one chapter to the next, and tomorrow has become today. yesterday morning i found a grey whisker. i am now old.

i have decided to be more politically involved during this election year. i'm not really sure what has brought this on, but after feeling so disenfranchised in the past couple of elections i decided to get myself informed for 08. I've been reading up on a lot of the top candidates, enough to where i think i could hold my own in a decent political discussion. i've stayed away from politics on this blog in the past, but there are a few things i feel passionately about to go ahead and put out there for the world to read. 1. the war: i have been a strong supporter of the war over the past few years, but i feel like we need to rethink our approach at this point. i'm not for cutting and running, but i would like to see a better exit strategy to avoid any more of our soldiers becoming frustrated overseas. 2. abortion: i am an avid pro-life advocate. even in extreme circumstances i feel that every child should have the option to live. i also find it odd that the opposing side is called 'pro choice' when the person who's life is at stake is not given a choice. 3. capital punishment: i'm completely against it. i could never sentence a person to die unnaturally. as a christian i feel that man should have every chance to turn their life around. more than anything, i have a lack of trust in our legal system. 4. life support: yet another one that throws me out of the right-wing box. the terry schaivo case a few years ago made me so upset. why do we as christians want to hold on to a body full of pain when there is such a greater alternative? i think holding on shows a lack of faith. when my time comes, my time comes. i'm going to be mad if you try and keep me here. 5. immigration: there is only so much our country can bear. the rate of people that need our help expands exponentially more every year than what we are capable of supporting. the laws and ideals that once were relevant need to adapt as times change like so many other laws and ideals have. and lastly, 6. free speech: this is becoming my biggest issue as it becomes more and more likely that my ability to speak the gospel will become increasingly limited (legally).

i can't pass up the opportunity the comment on the wave of celebrities that feel they have to influence political culture. seriously, i'm tired of it. you get the same news we do, let us make our own opinions. if you think about it for a second, should we really trust people who are professionals at making us believe things that aren't real? these are also the same people that say their violent movies and raunchy lyrics do not affect culture, yet they turn around and use their spotlights to praise each other for how much of an 'influence' their latest artistic masterpiece is making.

celebrities 2.
can we not combine the names of celebrity couples anymore? and can we not use the first initial-first syllable nickname generator anymore? and while i'm at it, can we stop calling every controversy something '-gate'?

red sox.
i don't even know where to begin on how much i am pulling for the rockies right now. if the sox win i have to put up with annoying fans bragging. if they lose, i have to put up with annoying fans whining. all i know is they have become the very yankees they claim to hate. congratulations on buying yourselves a post season. now go wash that fake stain off your socks.

the rub.
well i've spewed a lot of stuff that needed to be vented, which is odd because God has been really good these past few days (well, i've taken the time to notice). we got out of san diego safely after the convention, and some things around here that have been tough to deal with have settled down. i got spend time with some of the greatest friends i could ask for, and i got a chance to flirt with a bunch of attractive christian women. i got a number from a chica with amazing blue eyes, and i got a phone call from a kiddo that just needed to talk. i've seen prayers answered and hearts moved. i saw grown men cry out for renewal, and the same men on their knees accepting Jesus back into first place. i heard my thoughts put into words by teachers, and listened to kiddos ask questions to people they think have the answers. i sat with thousands of people that love ministry like i do and worshipped a God that loves us all.

i hope your day is blessed. i pray that as you read this your life is in a place that you can truly say that you love Jesus the way you want to.

one love, one heart.


'Live Free, Blog Hard'

so i'm hanging out at the local coffee shop with free wifi, and the barista chica sees me on my laptop (working on class for this week), and she comes over and says, "live free, blog hard". i'm not sure what that means, but i laughed anyways. so yes, i am one of those guys that hangs out at coffee shops and sits there with his drink and a laptop. there are worse things i could be.

this week is relatively mellow compared to last. plans and goals are getting finalized for our fall overhaul of the youth ministry. right now it's a matter of putting a name and some finishing touches on some events and i think we're going to be ready to go for our nov 1 starting date. i'm kind of excited. i feel like i just finished finals and all i have left are a few presentations.

i also started this franklin-covey organizational system that seems to be pretty cool so far. i still think it's a glorified day planner, but supposedly people pay a lot of money for the stuff that one of my deacons gave me for free. anyways, i basically spend time every day planning out the next day, and it helps me get more stuff done. i figure anything is better than what i'm doing now, but this seems pretty cool so far. it def has a spiritual side to it that's been a blessing the past week, and it's nice to look at my top priorities every day and see relationship with God at the top of list.

i finally got head down to murrietta this sunday and hang out with cactus james, and dantheman. i bought him his first baseball and glove, but he's still in the 'i can't hold things' phase. to his credit, he is only a few weeks old, so he has plenty of time to learn. it was pretty trippy to hold him though. he was quiet, seemed really strong, and just kind of sat there looking at me for a while. i was just glad that he didn't cry. all in all it made for a good week. oh yeah, and it was pretty cool seeing dantheman as a dad.

we hung out in san diego with some friends visiting from tulsa for most of the afternoon, then i had to head back norte to try and beat traffic, which didn't really work. but, it did afford me some time to blast some new tunes really loudly for a long time, which i enjoy a lot and haven't done in a while. i listened to both bedouin soundclash albums, angels and airwaves, some classics like wilson pickett, otis redding, james brown, the temptations and ben e. king. a pretty eclectic drive. anyways, there were a few lyrics that stuck out that i wanted to share.

I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone; I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough

-A Little's Enough by Angels & Airwaves

That chorus over and over again hit home. I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. call it a busy schedule, call it frustration, call it uncertainty, but there really is a lot to that idea that joy comes from opening up yourself for others to love you. i don't know, it hit home for me, and i've been in a much better mood the past few days.

When the walls fall down
On your old town
Then you began

See I had these walls
Built up so strong
Built when I was young
In wars I've won

But if I'm alone
Stone upon stone
So tall I could not see
Beyond my wall

But your walls fall down
And your walls fall down
And when walls come down
On your old town
You began

A bit unassured
A bit insecure
I climbed up to the top
And saw I lacked
And my fist stone cracked
Foundation collapsed
Standing on the ground
In stones I found

That your walls fall down
And your walls fall down
And when walls come down
On your old town
You began

In other lands
From where you stand
Beneath a shelter built by many hands
There is a stone
And you've locked the door
Of people you were swore
you came for war

And your walls fall down
Walls fall down
Walls fall down
Like a stone falls down
I'm no stone
I'm no stone
Its just a stone
Stone falls down
Says hes a stone
(Walls fall down
Walls fall down)
No man's a stone

-Walls Fall Down by Bedouin Soundclash

This song hit pretty hard mainly because i was on my way out of san diego. it made me think of all the different things i've had to lose, gain and go through in my journey over the last ten years or so.

the odds that i end up watching high fidelity tonite are pretty good.

and on a completely random note... why is it that a new pair of shoes are the most comfortable thing in the world? i found the most comfortable pair of shoes (or sandals - there's a debate going on) and i'm not sure if the reason i've worn them the past three days is that they're that comfortable, or i'm telling myself they are because they're new. oh yeah, and if anyone thinks i'm a shoe junkie, i left my old shoes at the beach this weekend so i needed a new pair. therefore this was buying - not shopping. anyways, here's a pic of my new shoes...

well, there's more excitement going on in my life, but i feel like skating for a few minutes before class starts up.

one love, one heart.


I'm not really superstitious, I'm just plain stitious.

so i'm in the middle of what may turn out to be an all nighter.

right now i'm literally watching paint dry.

i feel like i'm back in college again.

a couple of weeks ago i was asked to do a painting of a father and son walking down a path together. i thought i was feeling artsy this past weekend, but i looked at what my painting session had created and i was really frustrated. it looked like a weak attempt at a norman rockwell painting, which really isn't my style. i was pretty frustrated because the more i painted the more i didn't like what i saw. so i took a step back and painted over what i had. i started over with a fresh (dry) canvas and thought about what i would like to see. still stumped. so i went over to my stack of art(nerd) books and started looking through pictures i hadn't sen in a long time. and just like that the inspiration was back. i found this old surfer magazine that david carson had designed and remembered how i used to love his style back in the day. so i looked at the blank canvas and started putting stencils together with my painting in mind.

(break to spray another layer of stencils)

so instead of a father and son walking down a path i found a great pic my friend had taken of him and his dad walking at the beach towards the ocean. i photoshopped it out to get it stencil-ready, and started throwing down paint on the canvas. then i put together some cool one-off stencils for the youth group name and off i went.

i'm watching my canvas dry right now, and i'm feeling very in touch with God. it's been so long since i've done a painting like this, and it's something i enjoy so much. the problem with me and art is that i really have to be in a zone to put something together, and it's been so long since i've been in that zone. but looking at this painting and thinking of God listening to my cry for inspiration, it reminds me that i really need to cry out to God sooner for so many things. i sit here and wait for inspiration to hit, and God is right there waiting for me to cry out for help.

i just realized that i only closed the screen door and now my apartment smells like spraypaint. the cuz should get a kick out of that in the morning.

(breaking to clean up)

anyways, now that i've got all the stencil shavings cleaned up, i'm kind of ready to just sit back and enjoy what i've created. it's weird to think that in a few hours i have to hand this giant canvas off to someone else. i really don't like selling my paintings. maybe that's why i gravitate to stencil work? hmmm. either way, i'm smiling because i know tomorrow when i hand this off to my friend i can stand tall knowing that i like what i created.

what else...

the past few days have been a little rough. i found out that one of my best friends from jr high was killed in a motorcycle wreck back in 02. i had tried to get a hold of him ever since i've moved out here, and now i know why i haven't been able to. he was the only other white guy on the bus when i was in jr high, and although he was a couple of years older than me, he let me hang with his friends until i found my own group to be a part of. i never really fit in, but he always stuck up for me. i remember he used to give me a lot of grief about not acting like a christian too. i also remember very distinctly one time he told me that if i was a christian i should act like it. yeah, that still rings pretty clearly. i wish i could find out more about the events around his death, but the obituary records are a hassle and his parents don't speak a lot of english. but for the time being i have a mission. i'm going to track down his family and let them know he had an impact.

well, the sound of the keyboard is starting to get to me, so i think i'm going to call off the all-nighter and get some rest. i feel better having written all of this out anyways. thanks for joining in on my cheap alternative to therapy.

and because i don't want to leave on a downer note, be sure to check out my new favorite website dedicated to swedish rock bands from the 70's: www.omodern.com

i'll post a pic of the latest artwork soon.


one love, one heart.


There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

hola blogworld.

i decided to take a page out of juliacanyoumakesomephonecalls' intern handbook and move my office outside today. and by office i mean the book that i'm reading, my notes for class tonight and now my laptop. anyways, it's been a relatively quiet afternoon which is good because today has been a study day. which brings me to my first point...

i study now more than i ever did in high school or college. at least it's mostly stuff that i'm interested in. although i do have to say, i miss having pictures in my books.

i've been kind of sick for almost a month now. it's lame. what started out as a sore throat turned into a real bad cold, and then a sinus infection. now i just sound like i smoke two packs a day. the worst part is that the hassle of going to the doctor again outweighs my desire to try and tough this out. cough.

i wonder if those last two things are related?

i got one. after three years here. i don't know if it's good or bad, but i do know i would hide any video evidence of me in the process of asking the elders. i realized about a half hour before our meeting that i had never actually asked for a raise before. either one was offered, or i haven't worked at a place long enough to deserve one. either way, i plan on saving my extra 25 bucks a week. and by saving, i mean keeping up with rising rent costs and gas prices.

i'm not one to get super hyped up about new seasons of shows, especially now that we have a dvr, but i have to say i was on the edge of my seat for the new episode of heroes. i felt like a dork, but oh well. the show rules, hiro nakamura may be the coolest tv character ever, and the show had nothing to do with a hatch or finally getting to the other side of the island. oh yeah, i'm hyped up for the new season of the office. i was pretty collected until i saw the title of the 'fun run' where michael puts together: Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure.

i got to take a week off and head to houston and stay at my grandparents house which was much needed. what did i do on my time off? i slept a bunch, hung out with mi familia (much love to mi madre and hermana for hanging out for the weekend), watched every episode of the office over the course of a week and went to astros games every night. oh yeah, and i played scrabble. just what i needed.

clean out.
so i've lost enough weight now that a pretty good portion of my clothes don't really fit anymore. i had a bunch of shirts that were drowning me and pants that were starting to fall off, so i decided to go get a bunch of new clothes. but first i started with going through all of my old stuff and getting rid of the stuff that didn't fit. by the time i was done i had chopped my closet in half. i really liked looking at that half empty closet so i decided to forget the new wardrobe, and just stick with the old stuff that fits. i know this may not seem like a big deal, but anything i can do to avoid trying on clothes is a good thing. i realized that i really had all that i needed (which meant i had twice as much as i needed to before) and all i really had to do was go pick up some new jeans so i had something nice for church, dates, etc... anyways, it was a good feeling getting rid of all that stuff that had accrued in my closet. now my biggest issue is whether or not i spend the money to tailor a target dress shirt, or i go and get a couple of new tailored dress shirts. maybe i should just skip that all together too.

running with it.
taking a cue on how good it felt to get rid of a bunch of old clothes, i went ahead and got rid of a bunch of old electronics, sports equipment, hats and cd cases too. i actually have too much storage in my room now. it's a good feeling.

back on the plan.
so ever since i've been back i've been trying to get back into the gym routine again. lame. that, and the cuz has me on a new workout plan that is kicking my butt. although, i went longboarding the other night and i was pretty stoked to see how much more balance i have now as opposed to last year.

the spiritual.
i've been back on a personal reading kick again, and i'm going back and re-reading some of the books i know i need to draw from more. the first up is 'a new kind of christian' and next is 'velvet elvis'. after that i'm not really sure. if anybody has any good suggestions i'm all ears. it's amazing how much reading can impact the rest of your spiritual walk. it's like having a conversation with yourself sometimes, one of those conversations where you know that you've been pushed to think. anyways, it's been a blessing.

the times they are a changing.
i've been talking to a lot of the socal youth ministry mafia, and it's interesting to see how much things are changing around here. without getting into specifics, (i hope you understand why) the shape of southern california youth ministry is in for a major adventure of the course of the next few years. people and programs come and go, but i've really been drawn to 1 Corinthians lately, where it basically says that we are not called to follow one man or another, but we are all called to follow Christ. This is one of those verses that i should have written right over my desk.

i've been in artistic slump lately. one of these days i'm just going to sit down and draw. if anyone has any ideas for inspiration feel free to chime in.

bedouin soundclash.
having a cool band name pays off. this is by far my favorite recent music discovery ( followed closely by flatfoot 56, yo-yo ma and culver city dub collective). anyways, i've been listening to nothing but their music for almost 4 days now, which is almost unheard of for me. i rarely if ever can handle listening to an album more than once in a day, much less listening to one over and over for several days. anyways, if you wondering what they sound like, they're a three piece folk/reggae group that probably could be best described as paul simon singing for the clash. check out hush, when the night feels my song, and until we burn in the sun.

all the rest.
i don't feel like going into details on the rest of what's on my mind. so i'm just going to go on the ultimate unrelated ramble. we hired a new preacher. i'm almost finished with the plans to overhaul the youth ministry. it rained for a couple of days here, and i got sit on the porch and jam. i may be helping direct teen camp next summer. i have two potential mission trips on the horizon to africa and honduras. i finally figured out how to use my dad's camera. i'm getting really stoked about heading to nyc again this time for a family christmas in manhattan. the chargers need to beg and plead to get martyball back in san diego. the astros need to unload a bunch of pinch hitters and invest in some pitching. the astros have the best crop of rookies in baseball, hands down. 3:10 to yuma was awesome, especially from a family perspective. i went through my baseball card collection and i think i can possibly retire in about five years. two very close friends of mine are both working on their first girlfriend ever, and i'm pretty stoked for both. the cuz re arranged our apt and i keep running into stuff. when you can't sleep, listen to yo-yo ma. when you need to study, also listen to yo-yo ma. when you are driving in the rain, do not listen to yo-yo ma. i don't like it when people don't return phone calls. i can't stand it even more when i forget to return a phone call. i'm never showering at the gym again, it's just weird, especially since i was the only one under 55 in the locker room.

steven wright.
one of my new favorite comics. he's the guy on the couch in half baked, and he has a billion one liners. so to leave you today here are:

10. I intend to live forever. so far, so good.
9. I'd kill for a nobel peace prize.
8. I have a rare picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car.
7. I know the guy that writes all those bumper stickers. He hates new york.
6. I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... boy with pail...kitten on fire...
5. I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. they went AAAAHHHHHHH.
4. In my house i put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall. People come over and i say, touch it... it feels real.
3. I hooked the accelerator pedal in my car up to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and i'm gone.
2. the judge asked, " what do you plead?" i said, "insanity your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?"
1. they say we're 98% water. we're this close to drowning. every time i take a drink of water i feel like i'm living on the edge.

and a bonus extra edition of quotes of the week:

officemanagerron qotw: "that guy is out there with his dog again. either that or he's training his kid how to fetch."
astros fan qotw: "hey blue, check your cell phone, you missed a call!"
personal qotw: "dude, stop pretending like you don't want a tattoo of hillary duff on your back."

one love, one heart.


24 Hour Prayer update.

So we only have 7 more hours to go in our 24 hour prayer, and i felt like writing down some observations while i'm on the 2-5am shift looking over the building.

Things i've seen so far:
An elder of the church overcome by tears.
A mom with three kids from 1 yr to 5 yrs praying on the steps in the foyer.
A family sitting down praying together well after bed time.
The look of excitement when i told a lady there was a 'quiet room'.
Two of our senior saints who have been friends for a long time holding hands praying together at sunset.
A newly married couple in their 60's holding hands praying together as they walked around the field by our church.
A man with cancer who can barely lift a hammer putting a nail in a cross.
Grown men coloring.
Jr high kiddos setting up prayer stations that have pushed the prayer lives of people eight times their age.
Families talking about what they can do to help out the invisible children.
Little kids writing what they are thankful for with their mom and dad.
A family taking turns putting a nail in a cross, and a dad explaining why.
Five cars in the church parking lot at 2 am.
Several sets of mothers/daughters praying together.

Things i haven't seen so far:
Where God is going to take us after tonight.

one love, one heart.


"When it comes down to me against a situation, I don't like the situation to win." -MacGyver

time for a random blog. (i wrote this late last night)

it's late, i can't sleep. i'm tired and exhausted. have you ever been too tired to sleep?

i can't wait till monday. summer's almost over, and the best way i can describe how i feel right now is like i've almost swam underwater across the whole pool. if i can hold my breath for just a few more strokes i'll be really stoked about making it the whole way, but all i can think about is taking that breath.

why do i feel like such a nerd after watching lord of the rings tonight?

speaking of nerding out. my new favorite tv show is 'women of ninja warrior'.

last week was awesome. i went to a bunch of baseball games and ate a bunch of stadium nachos. maybe too many. whatever, there's no such thing.

and for those who asked, the blind date didn't pan out because her flight back to los angeles got delayed. i'll keep you updated on what happens next.

is it just me or does it seem like the whole michael vick case is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to dogfighting?

if you want to see some cool artwork look up steff plaetz.

if you want a good 'are you kidding me' laugh look up steven seagal's music video.

if you want a good gift idea for me i would really love a new chargers jersey.

if you want a good cd to listen to right now go pick up ben harper's 'the will to live' so you can say you were a fan before his new album comes out next week.

if you want a good haircut don't go to supercuts.

after being in san diego for a few days, it brought back some old memories. to top the list, i wonder whatever happened to our old car, the blue 76 monte carlo?

i realized the other day that i don't have a stereo in my room, which is odd since i listen to music pretty much everywhere i go. so i went to look at new stereos, and they all looked pretty gaudy and stupid. then i looked at al the stuff they make for ipods and they were all kind of small or expensive. that and i didn't like the way ipods fit in most of the slots. so i just bought some speakers and plugged the right into my ipod. i saved a few hundred bucks on a system, and i got a lot better sound than any of the smaller stereos. if you have an ipod, skip the stereos and just buy speakers.

i just ate a slice of pizza in bed. all i need now is some yosemite sam mudflaps for my truck and i'm good to go.

i'm looking at my closet right now, i think i'm going to go get a bunch of new clothes soon.

oh yeah, and towels. somehow over the course of the summer and trips to the beach, vbs, hurricane harbor, and camps, i'm down to one towel.

i just saw a commercial for a new medical drama on tv. really? do we need another one? if we're going to duplicate ideas for tv shows how about some more private investigators working for rich english guys in hawaii, or ex-military mercenaries working for hire while on the from the law, or even better... a secret agent who can make anything out of anything fighting the forces of evil one gadget at a time.

speaking of... did you know that MacGyver's first name was Angus?

well, i'm actually starting to doze.

one love, one heart.


"When I played, they didn't use fancy terms like emotionally distressed. They just said I couldn't hit." -Bob Uecker

hope you're comfortable.

due to popular demand:
i typically don't cave into demands from people about 'you should put this on your blog'; esp when it's stuff that typically gets passed around on a myspace bulletins. however, i've decided to make an exception due to the fact that the requests lately have come from people who actually read my blog, and i'm in a really good mood with no sense of feeling tired right now. also, this seemed kind of fun...

The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules. (if you don’t have a blog, email me)
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1. i set the alarm on my tv to telemundo when i know i need to get up at a certain time. i wake up confused, but hearing spanish first thing in the morning always seems to get me out of bed.

2. i used to wait outside of class in college just so i would 'bump into' this girl i had a crush on.

3. i have to turn a faucet on whenever i go to the bathroom.

4. i've chipped all four of my front teeth, but you can barely tell.

5. semi-celebrity crushes: erin andrews (espn reporter), giada de laurentiis (italian cooking show), and megan (age of love).

6. i almost always drip dry after showers.

7. i sing in the car. loud. and if i don't know the words i'll play the air drums. i get caught almost daily.

8. if i wear dress shoes to church i switch them out for some vans as soon as service is over. lately i've just started wearing vans.

hmm.... who to tag....

james, dan, brianna, myndi, trey, nikki, julia, thornton.

on to the blog.

teen camp.
so the theme for this year's teen camp was 'reveal' which ended up being a pretty cool theme to revolve around for the week. we spent every day working through different things that God reveals to us. I had the first day, and we talked about how God is a jealous God, which is something i've always heard but never really studied. it was kind of cool to go through and compare our jealousy to that of God, and see how they are so completely different. our jealousy lies in our insecurity, and ends up being a simple matter of us wanting what others have. our jealousy is motivated out of selfishness and becomes a trite way of dealing with things that don't go our way. God on the other hand, has no reason to want what others have, so to look into His jealousy we really need to take a closer look at where His motivation lies. His jealousy is motivated out of a love for us, and a sense of commitment that He desires. When we read of God being a 'jealous God', it comes in times where the people that He loves have forgotten about him, or turned their backs, or simply ignored Him outright. As a creator there is a special bond between HIm and his creation. There is a sense of pride and a desire to stay close. When we put other things before God (false idols) it's kind of like us forgetting who has really looked out for us the most. at the very least, it's an interesting concept to work over.

anyways, the next day we talked about God being a forgiving and accepting God, and we had a great time of confession. talk about revealing, watching my boys in the cabin confess to each other their struggles, you could see the sense of relief in their eyes. what power there is in hearing someone else own up to struggling with the same things that tear you up. the word reveal is a great way to describe the feeling in the air that night.

the next day we talked about God being a sustainer and provider, which yielded one of the best teen camp skits i've ever seen. after every morning session we have the kiddos head back to their cabins and come up with a skit over what they have learned, and this year we were truly blessed by the skits. the best being the boys cabin that had a hungry kid not only being provided food, but being completely satisfied and breaking into the snickers song. (had to be there moment) anyways, it was one of those times where all the youth ministers are smiling at each other knowing that the kiddos have got the point and then some.

then we talked about God being a Holy God, and what that means to be holy. we talked about the difference between trying to be righteous and self-righteous. it was awesome seeing the kiddos grasp that they were representatives of God to others, and how they could use that in their lives. what a great time of affirmation and a sober sense of pride. watching a kid realize that they could truly reflect who God is by showing love to others is absolutely amazing, because it brings such a great feeling of purpose to a troubled time of growing up.

the last day we talked about the reality of heading home, and how to make camp less of a spiritual high, and more of a permanent step forward in faith. me and my other group leader let our kids go on their own to talk this over, but from the reaction of the kiddos afterwards i'm sure there were some great discussions going on.

the other stuff from camp....
i love church camp. every year it ends up being a huge blessing, and the tiredness and lack of sleep are completely overshadowed by the blessing i receive from watching kids grow so much in a short period of time. this year i was really impressed by our older guys stepping up to take a leadership position and being nothing but absolutely respectful to our staff. i was really stoked too because we had twice as many kids from our youth group go this year as we have in years past. it was awesome watching our younger kids start to gel as a group, and our older kids reach out to other youth groups that aren't as solid just yet. and as always, it was great blessing to be around some of my best friends for a whole week doing what we love to do.

the goofy stuff...
one of the other benefits from camp is that with the food being ...um... subpar... i'm now back into the pound a week range that i was shooting at for the summer. it's nice to come back home and have to get a new belt because the old one doesn't have enough holes to fit the buckle anymore. actually, what is that little thing on a belt buckle called? you know the part that i'm talking about? whatever, i feel good and my jeans are super loose right now.

a few years ago i coined the term 'astros week' for the week of summer that the astros make a swing out to the west coast to play the padres and dodgers. it's typically a great week for me, but this year is turning out to be one of the best. last night we went to a great rout of the dodgers where oswalt pitched a great game. today, we got filed passes and hung out on the field for batting practice. i got to meet luis gonzalez, and hall of famer FERNANDO VALENZUELA. yeah, i still can't believe i met him. he's a legend, and evidently pretty good friends with my uncle. who knew.

this on the tails of a great present from uncle strech/ granny; an autographed copy of the houston chronicle from biggio's 3000th hit, signed by the legend himself. oh yeah, and i got a copy of the program from this year's hall of fame induction of tony gwynn and cal ripken jr.

tomorrow is a blind date to the game which should yield some great stories, and then friday i'm back at it again down in san diego with some of the boys. needless to say it's a good week for baseball.

oh yeah, and the yankees are tied for the lead in the wild card race and only a few games back from the red sox. nice.

well, i'm actually starting to doze a bit, so i guess it's time to shut the laptop down for the night.

quote of the day:
"when are you going to try and hit me fernando?"
-uncle strech to fernando valenzuela while throwing batting practice.

quote of the week:
"they should make a ueckerbot to hang out with you at baseball games".

one love, one heart.


"No one's really going to be free until nerd persecution ends."

first things first.
days like today are great reminders of why i have a great job; we baptized one of our kiddos tonite after class down a the beach in malibu. almost full moon, clear sky, warm water, small waves, and a small crowd there to watch a sister commit her life to Christ... it really doesn't get much better.

a cord...
of three strands is not as easily broken. it's amazing watching our kids intertwine their lives. tonight in class we talked about times where it becomes vital to have someone there by your side. as we talked about why simply having someone 'there' for you is important, we came to the conclusion that sharing experiences effects us at the very core of who we are. that presence serves as a reminder that we are loved. these experiences, whether good or bad, are the instances that allow us to create community with one another. so basically, if you're reading this you should share the idea with others around you. actually, i was pretty impressed that our kiddos were able to go this deep tonite. gold stars for everyone.

so i was at the grocery store tonite and the chica behind me strikes up a conversation, saying she remembered me from when i came in with one of our preacher interviewees last friday. we had spent a while at the bar there at chilis and had invited her to listen to his interview (sermon). anyways, she remembered me and we started a pretty cool conversation (this is the first time i've been stoked about the line taking forever) about church, working late on a thursday night, and the stuff we eat. anyways, when the time came for her to pay, she had left her wallet in the car and i got a chance to offer to pay for her stuff. she said she didn't feel right about it but appreciated the offer. so she ran out to her car to get her wallet and i paid for my stuff, and as we were walking out together she said she'd like to come visit me at church. score. even better, i actually had a business card to hand her. so here's to seeing if she calls. either that or here's to me happening to stop by chili's. check that, here's to me hitting the gym in the morning.

speaking of which...
i tried a little boxing workout the last time i was at the gym and completely embarrassed myself trying to keep the speedbag going. although i am really contemplating putting a punching bag in my office now. those things are a blast.

which leads to...
this fall i'm going to redecorate my office and i'm looking for some crazy ideas to pull off. as of now the best suggestions have been to put a picture frame around my window, and instead of a desk put a low shelf along the whole wall. whachya got?

well, i'm tired now.

one love, one heart.


I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?

ahhh the late night blog...

so i'm a little more that halfway through the summer and things have been going pretty crazy around here. our events have been going really well up till this week when we hit a minor snag, but for the most part this summer has been pretty much more than i had imagined. we've got pretty good attendance from the kiddos, a good sense of energy around the youth ministry, and most importantly we've really been able to put a lot of spiritual growth into our events. all in all, things around here are going good. like any good summer, i know i'm going to be ready for the fall when things slow down slightly and i can take a break for a while. i think this year i'm going to head to houston and retreat away to my grandparents house for a few days of baseball, scrabble and westerns. oh yeah, and some home cooking too. i know houston isn't the likely vacation spot, but the thought of the quietness of granny and pollock's house is really appealing right now.

this summer the credit for how well things are going have to go to my intern. she's been a huge help around the ministry and there's no way we're pulling off the events we have around here w/o her help. so major props to my intern, who is probably having dreams of making phone calls right now.

it's been a tough baseball season for me. the astros are a game away from the worst record in the nl, the yankees are a flop so far, and every time i turn on baseball tonight i have to put up with the barry bonds saga. ugh. at least my fantasy team is doing well. oh yeah, and i was pretty peeved when i take my lunchtime look at espn.com and the story of craig biggio's retirement was buried behind bonds, vick and the nba ref that bet on his games. ugh again.

crash and burn.
"would you like to go out sometime?" "um... i'll have to think about it."

what would you do...
for a while now i've griped about how they need to get the wonder years out on dvd. my boy joeyfatone explained to me that they were taking forever because they had secure all the rights for the music featured in each episode, which makes sense. so i was pretty dismayed about that but i came home and searched the ol' cable schedule and found a local station that throws a couple episodes of the wonder years on the air every night. so i hooked up the dvr and now i have the next best thing. anyways, it's a blast watching the wonder years again. i feel like i've reconnected with some of the best characters that television has provided us in a while. anyways, i'm stoked about tv again.

lohan. (Cc:britney spears, paris hilton)
i honestly feel sorry for her at this point. it's pretty bad when you are so far down that people are glad you're going to jail so that you can get some help. a lot of mean, easy jokes come to mind, but i truly pray she can turn things around and become a positive role model. if she wanted to something to get attention, that would certainly catch everyone by suprise.

the ol body fat percentage went down another notch, which is pretty amazing seeing as how i haven't been to the gym in a week or so. chalk that up to a week at youthwave and a week of vbs, not apathy.

the run.
speaking of working out, i just realized i never really gave an update on how i did in my first 5k run. i did all right, but not as well as i know that i can someday. i ran about halfway before i stopped to walk for a while, and i spent the second half splitting time running/walking. at the very least i beat this old man who i had been racing the whole time, wether he knew it or not. all in all, it was a fun day. huntington beach really knows how to throw a 4th of july party, and we ended up having a great afternoon. and when all is said and done, i think i'm going to continue running and training until i can complete a 5k run. we'll see.

quote of the week:
"looks like we've turned you into a republican" - an older guy at church commenting on me wearing a suit and tie (to a memorial service).

quote of last week:
"why are you going to apologize? you didn't kill him." - a six year old to his grandparents after they said they were going to express their sorrow to a recent widow at church.

quote from a couple of weeks ago:
"i have to admit, most of those hugs were for Jesus, but some were for me." - one of my kiddos after we went to santa monica pier and handed out free hugs to show God's love during youthwave.

i've honestly been so busy that i haven't had time to do laundry. i actually sprayed my shorts with febreeze today and hoped no one would notice. they didn't.

every summer i have my go to albums that seem to arise as the soundtrack for the season. this year is no different. so here's my...
family 3 - the family 3 benefit album
mxpx - secret weapon
this is solid stat vol. 6
strung out - blackhawks over los angeles
relient k - five score and seven years ago
the best of ladysmith black mambazo
116 clique - the compilation
switchfoot -oh gravity
tim armstrong - a poet's life
chris murray - slackness

oh yeah,
i forgot to mention how much i'm nerding out this summer over transformers. i've seen the movie a few times and i'm looking around for one of the blackout action figures (the helicopter in the movie was the one my dad used to fly). and as i mentioned to the kiddos a few weeks ago, it should be noted that the transformers were and integral part of my walk with God back in the elementary days. when i was five years old i prayed for an optimus prime action figure and i got one for my sixth birthday a few months later. it was the first time i prayed on my own and me and God have been tight ever since. also, when i was six and i heard there was a transformers movie coming out, this is what i had in mind, not a two hour cartoon. so you could say i've been waiting for twenty years for this movie to come out. so there, i'm a nerd. just wait until they make a g.i. joe movie!

there's plenty of other stuff on my mind as of right now, but it's getting late and i've got a long day with the kiddos tomorrow at magic mountain. if you're interested, ask me about my idea for a top ten list for september, my renewed sense of energy, and/or who's been on my mind.

one love, one heart.


That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run...

10. I really shouldn't use the term 'running' in the race since i will probably end up walking a majority of the way
9. Why am i spending my day off running?
8. Why am i paying to run?
7. Maybe I should have planned my first 5k for a time when it isn't the middle of summer, and/or 5 degrees out.
6. (Hold on, i need to catch my breath)
5. What better way to celebrate Independence then by running?
4. Be sure to add the theme to Rocky to my '5k playlist'
3. Running as a hobby is acceptable as long as i don't start wearing jogging shorts.
2. If i pass out, are there people to get me out of the road so all three people behind me don't trip?
1. I can't wait to see transformers.

one love, one heart.


***Special Guest Blog from the Cuz***

So the summer has kicked into full swing this week and this blog has taken a back seat in my list of priorities. so in an effort to keep the audience captiviated i've invited the cuz to fill in for this blog. enjoy.

one love, one heart.

Okay, so this is my first official blog, and most likely one of few to come. I'm not quite as technologically inclined as D.J., but I hear this blog thing is up and coming. So please forgive me if I don't know all the proper abbreviations, or if I don't put the appropriate smiley faces after jokes or passive aggressive comments.

So that you have some idea who the heck I am, and why I am writing on D.J.'s blog I'll give you a brief curriculum vitae.

I'm the guy D.J. calls "the cuz"

Thank goodness that’s out of the way. Anyhow, D.J. and I have been talking for some time now about me making a guest spot. We just needed something that I was passionate about, and that had some relevance. Needless to say this took awhile.

At any rate we decided now was the time, and we had the perfect topic.

It has been well documented the effects western society has had on, well, westerners. In fact we are increasingly aware of this as baby boomers continue to age and require more of our healthcare systems. Politicians debate over how to provide care for the masses, and schools struggle to produce clinicians to support an increasing demand for healthcare professionals. All the while insurance companies are charging their clients more, and paying providers less.

On the other side of the coin you have the preventative maintenance crowd that preaches ergonomics and proper body mechanics. And many large companies are beginning to follow this trend by reimbursing employees for gym memberships, teaching proper body mechanics, putting in their own gyms, and having workspaces evaluated for proper ergonomics. My profession has me operating on both sides of this gun that is 21st century healthcare.

In America the number one reason for doctor visits is the common cold. A close second is low back pain, and oddly enough general practitioners on the whole know very little about differentially diagnosing back pain. They often end up handing out a pamphlet and an exercise sheet, and telling people to lift with their legs. To be sure, this is all that some folks need, but many others require much more skilled intervention than that. On the other hand many go straight to their chiropractor who generally can be more beneficial than the GP, but oddly enough most chiro patients say one of two things: 1) "My back gets out of alignment." or 2) "My pelvis is rotated." Finally some end up at the orthopedist or the physical therapist, but regardless, LBP creates the largest dent in disability dollars than any other diagnosis.

This obviously brings us to prevention. What can an aging and ailing American public due to lift the load that is breaking healthcare's back. I must admit if I had the solution I wouldn't be wasting my time writing this stinking blog. But I do have at least one extremely relevant suggestion. A suggestion that not only will have an impact immediately, but I am certain if we were to do a longitudinal outcomes study over the next twenty years we would find that it will have completely altered the landscape of healthcare.

It is relatively common knowledge that our physical activities over the course of our lives have a cumulative effect on the way our bodies age. All you have to do is look at common orthopedic diagnoses to discern this. For instance: tennis elbow, jumper's knee, and golfer's elbow are a few that would apply. And any person who uses lumbar support in their Tahoe could enter into their own personal experience diatribe on the positive postural effects their SUV provides.

Therefore that brings us to what we can do to lessen the strain on our weakening healthcare system. I mentioned earlier the prevalence of back pain in our society. And given time it will undoubtedly cripple it. So that places responsibility squarely on the shoulders of American men and women to do whatever they can to prevent movement disorders of the spine. Reminding ourselves to sit up straight, sleep on our side, and lift with our legs. Only scratches the surface my friends. In fact I would imagine all of you could have told me those three things with very little thought on your part. So if we all know some basic principles needed to protect our backs then we either have an implementation issue or we just aren't doing all we can. I propose that we must carefully evaluate all of our daily activities so that we might recommend more specific changes. To further this thought process we must look at gender specifics. "Are men's and women's activities similar, or do they have some variances that would predispose one over the other to a life filled with functional limitation as a result of back pain?"

This brings me to my current line of thought. We all know that bending forward is not advisable even to pick up a pencil. And we all have friends or family that can tell us this with certainty as they have had an episode of pain as a result of this poor movement pattern. Furthermore some have even ended up in the O.R. having a microdiscectomy due to forward bending. Realistically we can never totally avoid this movement either. So that means we must do all we can to reduce the volume with which we do it. Knowing all of these things lead me to wonder if there were then activities that men do more than women, or vice versa, that require forward bending. Naturally my bias was toward men, and very soon light bulbs went off.

There is an activity that we as men do several times daily at home and at work that demands forward bending. But unfortunately, changing it will require a paradigm shift in bathroom etiquette. So we as men must beg that our female counterparts enter into this voyage of change with us. For the good of the American people's health, we must ask that you put the toilet seat down and then pick it up when you are finished. Biomechanically it is more efficient for you all to do this, and it is time that we as men banded together to fight for our right to live a pain free life. But we as men also know that we usually have to meet you all half way. So we offer this bargaining tool. We will get better with our aim.

Thanks for reading,
“the cuz”


Shouldn't that 'blasting zone' sign really be a 'road closed' sign instead? - Brian Regan

i love a great awkward moment.

so i've been on this gym kick for the past few months, and as of late i've become somewhat of a gym rat which is funny in and of itself. anyways, one of the reasons i like my gym is because it's not the meat market that i was expecting, most of the other people there at 9 am are guys in their seventies, and moms in their fifties. i like this because there are no 'distractions' and i can use my workout as a prayer time going for that whole exercise the body, exercise the soul mentality.
anyways, that all came crashing down the other morning when i went to the gym and walked into a supermodel convention. everywhere i turned there is one female more attractive than the next, making me somewhat suspicious that i might be on a hidden camera show or something. so about halfway through my workout i head over to the squat machine, and i'm on my last set of reps when this insanely attractive woman starts using the free squat press next to me. she puts on way too much weight and is shaking trying to do her squats, so i offer her a spot (proper gym etiquette of course). she racks the weight and i suggest that she put on less weight and try for more reps. so she asks me to spot her again which brings about several thoughts: 1. i can't believe a stranger this hot is talking to me. 2. when did i become a fitness expert? 3. i can't believe a stranger this hot is talking to me. and 4. how far back are you supposed to stand from someone when you give them a spot doing squats?
so i'm standing a few feet back with my arms stretched out and she starts into her reps. on her third squat she gets pretty low down and proceeds to rip one of the biggest farts i have ever heard. in my 27 years on this earth i have never heard a fart like this from a man or a woman. the best way to describe this fart is that it sounded like one of the speakers at the gym blew out. she starts to fall to her knees so i push the weight forward to get it into the rack and she curls up on the floor with her face buried in her hands not saying a word. i look around and every person in that corner of the gym has stopped and is looking over in our direction. i catch a glimpse of her face in the mirror and it is fire engine red, and i can't tell if she's laughing or crying. i'm speechless. it's not everyday that you are in the blast zone of a supermodel fart.
before i can figure out what to say, she picks up all of her stuff and literally runs out of the gym. after realizing that my shot at impressing a supermodel at the gym has completely passed i realize that i am standing in an area that is a little less than fresh, and everyone that is passing through this area now thinks that i am responsible for the rancid smell. so i head over to the other side of the gym tagged, frustrated, and cracking up.

she wasn't there yesterday morning and i had to go to a meeting this morning so i haven't hit the gym yet. but, i hope to see her again sometime cause that's just funny. i'm not sure what i'll say, but i can't wait to hang out and talk to the farting supermodel.

one love, one heart.

(ask me how tempted i was to end it one love, one fart)


Homer: It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won.

the other night i was up late and i didn't really feel like watching old kung fu movies, so i started reading through old blog posts. as i was reading i noticed that there was a lot of information about me out there, and just from reading my blog you could probably get a pretty good idea of who i am. with one exception, there really isn't a whole lot of my spiritual side which is kind of odd seeing as how i am a youth minister.
i was thinking about this and i came to a few conclusions: one, my blog is more about how i feel than 'shop talk'. i hope anyone that reads this understands that on any given day i'm discussing, teaching and/or reading a lot about the bible and christian life. one of the pitfalls of ministry is sometimes it's easy to want to leave work at the office, which is a task a minister can never truly achieve. that's why i appreciate my friends that are not youth ministers, and allow me to be 'just d.j.' around them without expecting me to wear my minister hat. this may sound a little confusing, but at most jobs you can leave work at the office, not so much here. i'm not complaining about this, because the people that are happiest at their jobs are the ones doing something they would do without being payed, and i def would be, and did, ministry without being officially titled.
anyways, my second conclusion when it comes to the lack of spiritual undertones in my blog was that this was something that was easily remedied.

i taught a class on david a few weeks ago called 'giant challenges', where we looked at the story of david and goliath as a model of how to face challenges in our lives. like any good minister i've got this broken into different bullet points.
1. character counts
when samuel was looking for the man that God wanted to be the next king of israel he was told not to look at physical appearance, because God looks at the heart. when it comes to us and the battles that we face, who we are on the inside is going to have a huge influence on how we are going to battle. if we are timid, we run from challenges. if we are angry, we are more likely to battle without thinking. david was pure in heart, and he was more than willing to face the giant that had tormented his people, and mocked hid God.

2. step up
david did what no one else was willing to do. a whole army of trained soldiers cowered and waited for someone else to take initiative when goliath came and challenged the army for weeks on end. when it comes to our battles, it is very easy to look around and wait for someone else to take care of the giant. it's not going to happen. our biggest battles, the things that are going to affect our lives the most are things that no one else can take care of but you. this doesn't mean that we don't ask for help or guidance, but when it comes to a head, we have to decide to fight ourselves. since i'm on a fitness kick lately, i'll use this analogy. no one can lose weight for you. if you want to shed some pounds, you are going to have to run the miles, climb the stairs, lift the weights etc. hopefully you have others encouraging you along, but no one can fight the battle of the bulge for you. as unlikely as a hero as he might have appeared to be, david gets huge points for stepping up to the challenge.

3. breakdown the challenge
here's where i learned the most from david when i was studying last week. when david tells king saul that he wants to fight goliath, he explains that as a shepherd he had protected his flock from bears, and rescued sheep from the mouths of lions. not just a bear, or a lion, but the language suggests that david might very well have a pretty big collection of bear and lion teeth back in his tent. so this picture i've always had of david as a weak little kid is pretty much shattered when i re-read this and see him as a confident bear-killer. the lesson here is to break down the challenge to something more manageable. david sees goliath as just another bear, something he knows he can defeat. when facing what seems like a monumental challenge it helps to reflect and draw on past battles to put the battle into perspective. going back to the weight loss scenario, if you just say you want to lose weight, you have a tough road ahead. but, if you break down the challenge into eating better, cardio, accountability, schedule etc, all of the sudden this monumental task becomes a much less intimidating giant.

4. fight smarter, not harder
david ditches the heavy armor that he is provided with and goes for a few stones and a sling. why? because that's what he knows how to use. i can imagine in between fighting bears and lions there is quite a bit of down time as a shepherd, and david had plenty of training with a sling. so he uses what he knows. so if your battle is trying to quit smoking, would it be easier or harder to quit if you stop hanging out with people who smoke? if you don't want to get drunk, don't drink. if you're tired of drama in your life, then don't put yourself in situations that bring drama. call this the stop and think formula. so many bad decisions come from not thinking about how to fight beforehand.

5. fight for what's right
the reason david is successful is because he is fighting for a worthy cause. goliath had insulted God, and david was there to put an end to that. when we are trying to fight a giant, it's important that we have pure motives for our purpose. this goes back to my first point about who we are on the inside.

i started praying for every kid in my youth group by name every week. there are a few reasons why i started this. 1: my kids know that someone cares enough to pray over them. 2: if i don't know what to pray for, then it gives me a reason to call up that kid and see what's going on in their life. 3: i'm always looking for something to push my prayer life, and this def keeps me on my toes.

favorite scripture
my favorite passage of scripture is romans 12. let me do a little walk through on why i love it. it starts off asking us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, which i take to mean several different things. first off, we are meant to live. there have been times in my life where that desire was not abundant and this scripture has really spoken to me. secondly, if we are not here serving others then we are parasites. our purpose is to effect the world around us, not to be self centered. if you truly want to make an impact, then do something for someone else. and lastly, we are called to be living sacrifices only after we are reminded of God's sacrifice for us. love because we have been shown love. what a great concept.
the next paragraph talks about the purpose that we all play in the grand scheme of things. but it starts off with a gut check of exactly how you should view yourself. we are not called to brag about accomplishments, or pride ourselves on meaningless trophies. we are called to judge ourselves by where our faith is at. i love telling the kiddos about this because it is so contrary to what the world believes, and it is so liberating. i could spin my wheels for years achieving all kinds of crazy stuff, but it will never make me a better person. if i want to be a complete person i need to look at myself the way God looks at me. how does God look at me? he looks at the gifts that i have been given, and how i have used these gifts. have i fulfilled my potential, or have i been too selfish to care.
then there's a whole section devoted on what it means to love. putting others before yourself, devoting yourself to one another, serving, patience, sharing, caring, peacefulness... man what a way to live. i wish i could exemplify this verse more often.

i've adopted a new theme for the youth ministry here: 'you will know that you are loved'. it comes from john 13 where Jesus tells his disciples, " by this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." whata great message for the postmodern world. instead of trying to explain God's love, try demonstrating it. this is the approach my dad took. i don't recall him giving many bible studies to his friends, but i do have plenty of recollection of him actually demonstrating what the bible was all about, wether it was an encouraging word, a hug, or simply caring about someone else. so here's how that theme directly applies to our ministry here. first, there is plenty of hatred and apathy out in the world. when you're here, your safe. i want this place to feel different from the rest of the world. second, if the ministry is going to accomplish our main goal of bringing the message of Christ to the lost, then we are going to remind the kids of God's love, and equip them to love the same way. and lastly, every person has worth. everyone. growing up is hard enough, and it's even harder when you feel alone. we were not meant to live by ourselves, and we are not meant to survive on self reliance. we need others around us that bring us up. we need people to serve us, and we need others to serve.

well, i know this has been a long post, but stuff like this really helps me get centered before our summer season starts. i'm petitioning for your prayers for our ministry this summer that we grow how we need to, and that we are able to fulfill our role in God's plan for us. thanks.

one love, one heart.


Where was your salsa made?

this was my day last wednesday in nyc:

jewish diner for breakfast
subway to lower east side
world trade center
battery park
statue of liberty (looked at, didn't visit actual island)
wall street
new york stock exchange
federal building
times square
john's pizza
rockerfeller center
grand central station
6 train to yankee stadium
yogi berra t-shirt
memorial park
batting practice
stadium club for dinner
left field level seats
make fun of manny ramirez
mariano rivera strikes out the side
yankees win 8-3 over the sox
quick bite at a deli
greenwich village
union square

i've checked, and it is mathematically impossible for the day to get any better.

other things we did in nyc:
empire state building
times square at night
little italy
ferraro's canolis
central park
mickey mantle's
metropolitan museum of art
death ride 07 (cab ride)

all in all i don't think i've ever been that stoked about a vacation. nyc is an insanely awesome place to visit and i can't wait to go back. there's so much to do there, and the city truly never sleeps. absolutely insane. and the people there were actually pretty nice too, as long as you weren't driving a cab or a delivery truck. everyone we met on the subway was really nice, and even helpful in pointing out things to see or places to go. we kept a pretty frantic pace the whole time because we were only there for a few days. i wasn't feeling too good, but the adrenaline def overcame the tiredness. (although right now i'm sooooo tired i can hardly move). anyways there was so much to see, and so much to write about, i hardly know where to begin. i guess i'll hit the major highlights. on tuesday evening we went to the empire state building which was absolutely surreal. my perspective was completely thrown off and the world seemed out of proportion. it's hard to describe, but if anyone else out there has been, maybe they could chime in on the experience. we also went to little italy for dinner, which was good mostly due to the fact that we were in the middle of mafia waste management territory.
the highlight, and the reason for the trip was the yankee game on weds night. i couldn't have gone to a better game. the red sox were in town, and curt schilling got shelled early and often by the bronx bombers. the yankees turned their bats on and played a pretty solid game. but the best part of the game by far was the atmosphere, we couldn't have paid to sit by better fans. they were loud, obnoxious, and hilarious the whole night, which is exactly why we went to the game. yankee stadium itself is a truly classic stadium. i felt like i was part of a much larger history of baseball there, almost like it was my duty to go there and watch a game. if baseball was a religion, yankee stadium would be mecca, it's a place every baseball fan should go to at least once. and yes, fenway park is up on the list too, but that's another trip.
on thursday we went to central park and then the met, which is by far the greatest museum i've ever been too. i could spend a week there. we saw so many famous painting it's kind of hard to remember, but my favorites were; washington crossing the delaware, death of socrates, the thinker, warhol's mao ze dong, the jackson pollock, and the original picasso drawings.
i guess to sum it all up, i had a great few days. good people, lots of stuff to do, always a place to go, and way too much good food to eat. i guess i'll end with my:
10. if you speak english, you are not the most inept traveler at the airport
9. everyone walks: supermodels (of which i think i saw a few), businessmen, tourists...
8. you are never more than 100 yards from a place to eat
7. taxis are lame, take the subway
6. there are no taco bells in manhattan (sorry mi hermana, valleygirl)
5. expletives are more prevalent than tall buildings
4. (tie) it is still not cool to be a mets fan/ everywhere you go, you see something from die hard 3
3. posted signs and speed limits to do not apply to cab drivers
2. there are zero gas stations in manhattan
1. nyc has talent

so that's the big highlight of this blog. there's a bunch of other stuff going on besides that, but i had to get the exciting stuff out of the way first. let's see what else is on the plate...

another birthday down. yeah. they really don't mean as much as they used to. to be honest, i had kind of forgotten it was my birthday until that night i had to sign and date a hotel bill for springfest. i guess the next big one is 30. word around the apt is that the big 3-0 celebration may involve a boxing match in vegas. we'll see. my pick would be a safari in africa. like i said, we'll see.

season finale
tis the season for the finale, so i guess i'll give my rundown on my favorite shows and the finales.

heroes had the best finale, and i can't wait to see where they go with the show next season. although there wasn't a great fight like i had envisioned, it was cool to see everything come together at the end. and hiro nakamura cemented himself as the coolest character on tv by far with his swordsmanship, and ever pressing desire to do the right thing.

the office came in with a close second. oh man, that show gets funnier every week. the quotes from michael scott get better every week too. and i'm really glad that they didn't go the expected 'jan is pregnant' route that they hinted towards. also, i have to say, i'm more excited about ryan being michael's boss than the whole pam and jim thing.

lost finally picked things up by somewhat answering some questions, but they still pulled their typical i-don't-think-the-writers-know-where-this-is-going ending by bringing up more questions. thumbs up to the show for showing the future in the cutaway segments, thumbs down for bringing back locke from the dead so he can not shoot jack.

house is one of those longshot hits for me. i'm getting tired of the pretty formulaic routine of the show, but house as an irreverent jerk is always intriguing. props to the season finale for letting go of the entire staff.

and lastly, the 24 season finale was lame. way too predictable, and not nearly as tension filled as the rest of the season. seriously, the threat of a nuclear attack in the beginning of the season was way more intriguing than who was going to end up with a computer chip in the second half. and will somebody get jack bauer something to eat?

with being sick the past few days, and my trip to nyc, it's been over a week since i've hit the gym. at this point i'm just trying to regroup and get my body healthy before summer hits, and i've all but abandoned any hope of running an entire 5k, although i still plan on trying. fortunately my schedule for the next few days gives me plenty of opportunity to get back to the gym, which unlike any other time i've tried working out, is actually something i'm looking forward to doing.

every guy wants to picture themselves as the rugged outdoor type, and to fulfill that need we go fishing. it's not that we actually catch fish, it's that we have a line in the water. i've been fishing twice in the past few weeks, and i have a feeling there will be more soon to come. i don't know why i enjoy fishing, but i do. i guess that should be some sort of man-law: man shall catch fish. and by the way, i have actually caught fish on these ventures, just not a lot, and not very big.

i just don't care anymore. someone asked me if i watched any of the playoffs the other day, and my friend had the best response i've heard in a while, "they still play basketball?" and to answer the question posed by an analyst on espn the other day, basketball needs to ditch the melodramatic selfishness, and start emphasizing teamwork and respect.

whatchya say
snl is funny again. they have great characters and the digital shorts are genius. be sure to catch the repeats when you can, especially the peyton manning show.

golf balls
i'm going to hit a few before class tonite. later.

one love, one heart.