Robert Goulet: 11/26/33 - 10/30/07

goulet graph

You stay well too Goulet.

one love, one heart.


"I rant, therefore I am." - Dennis Miller

guten tag.

the fires.
to start off with i'd like to thank everyone that's called or emailed me about the fires out here. san diego got hit the worst by far, but the ones up north have been pretty crazy too. if you know anyone at pepperdine they can give you a better description than i can of how bad it was, but i will say that from what i saw the fire was a few yards from devastating the campus. also, keep the folks from malibu presbyterian in your prayers. they lost their building in the fire. as for me, i was keeping an eye on the six flags fire due east of us about 20 miles, because there's nothing in between but mountains of brush.

one of my favorite events of the year is the national youth workers convention put on by youth specialties. this year the speakers all gave great messages and the seminars i went to really helped put things into perspective. francis chan from cornerstone really hit me hard with his talk on saturday. he talked about how his view of youth ministers changed when his daughter joined the youth group. it's so easy to get caught up in programming, pastoring, event planning, phone calls, studying... but the thing that needs to be the most prevalent is a love for Jesus. it's so easy to love ministry more than Jesus. it sounds weird to say, but i really got hit hard by this. and judging by the looks of those around me, i think it hit home with quite a few others as well. it was an odd idea at first, but the more i started comparing my love for Jesus to my love for ministry, my love for church, my love for being a part of kids lives, and my love for myself, i realized that things have been out of line for quite some time. i'm not sure how this plays out exactly, but i love wrestling with this idea. in my mind i've been running these competitions about who/what would win for my attention, and the reality of who/what does win my attention and it's been a humbling experience. it's so easy to be lukewarm.

nywc 2.
even if the sessions weren't that great, i would go just to have time hanging out with the youth ministry mafia. this year we decided to save money on hotels and crash at an empty condo that was up for sale. so we set up a projector and chilled every night wither watching movies, or playing nintendo wii (which i finally caved in and bought for our youth room). which, by the way, is the biggest prank one country has ever played on another. seriously, nintendo couldn't come up with a better name? anyways, hanging w/ the mafia was the perfect mix of accountability, jokes, terrible jokes, mockery, support, brainstorming, cynicism, hope, spirituality, and a lot of mexican food. needless to say, the fact that we were in san diego prompted me to give my usual 'd.j. reality mexican food tour' of my old stompin grounds. i doubt those guys eat mexican food for a month.

nywc 3.
i recognize that i am now officially a nerd after being really excited for the huge sale they have on all the new youth ministry stuff at the convention.

beard update.
i grew out my beard a few weeks ago and i've had some great mixed responses. one lady at church said i looked homeless. another said i looked distinguished and mature. my kiddos said i was just lazy. one chica at the coffee shop muttered under her breath 'indie-hipster', and another thought i was a cowboy (don't ask). so i guess my beard gives me that mature-lazy-distinguished-indie-cowboy-homeless-hipster look that's real popular these days. the worst comment though goes to valleygirl who asked if it itches, to which i replied that it didn't anymore, and she said that it must 'really be growing on me'. that hurts my head to think about. which leads me to...

the dreadful moment.
there are certain things in life that you just have come to accept. we are all growing older at the same rate, we are all terminal, and our bodies will not always be in the prime condition that we desire. i had a moment yesterday that i can not turn back from. it's one of those moments where you realize that your life has moved from one chapter to the next, and tomorrow has become today. yesterday morning i found a grey whisker. i am now old.

i have decided to be more politically involved during this election year. i'm not really sure what has brought this on, but after feeling so disenfranchised in the past couple of elections i decided to get myself informed for 08. I've been reading up on a lot of the top candidates, enough to where i think i could hold my own in a decent political discussion. i've stayed away from politics on this blog in the past, but there are a few things i feel passionately about to go ahead and put out there for the world to read. 1. the war: i have been a strong supporter of the war over the past few years, but i feel like we need to rethink our approach at this point. i'm not for cutting and running, but i would like to see a better exit strategy to avoid any more of our soldiers becoming frustrated overseas. 2. abortion: i am an avid pro-life advocate. even in extreme circumstances i feel that every child should have the option to live. i also find it odd that the opposing side is called 'pro choice' when the person who's life is at stake is not given a choice. 3. capital punishment: i'm completely against it. i could never sentence a person to die unnaturally. as a christian i feel that man should have every chance to turn their life around. more than anything, i have a lack of trust in our legal system. 4. life support: yet another one that throws me out of the right-wing box. the terry schaivo case a few years ago made me so upset. why do we as christians want to hold on to a body full of pain when there is such a greater alternative? i think holding on shows a lack of faith. when my time comes, my time comes. i'm going to be mad if you try and keep me here. 5. immigration: there is only so much our country can bear. the rate of people that need our help expands exponentially more every year than what we are capable of supporting. the laws and ideals that once were relevant need to adapt as times change like so many other laws and ideals have. and lastly, 6. free speech: this is becoming my biggest issue as it becomes more and more likely that my ability to speak the gospel will become increasingly limited (legally).

i can't pass up the opportunity the comment on the wave of celebrities that feel they have to influence political culture. seriously, i'm tired of it. you get the same news we do, let us make our own opinions. if you think about it for a second, should we really trust people who are professionals at making us believe things that aren't real? these are also the same people that say their violent movies and raunchy lyrics do not affect culture, yet they turn around and use their spotlights to praise each other for how much of an 'influence' their latest artistic masterpiece is making.

celebrities 2.
can we not combine the names of celebrity couples anymore? and can we not use the first initial-first syllable nickname generator anymore? and while i'm at it, can we stop calling every controversy something '-gate'?

red sox.
i don't even know where to begin on how much i am pulling for the rockies right now. if the sox win i have to put up with annoying fans bragging. if they lose, i have to put up with annoying fans whining. all i know is they have become the very yankees they claim to hate. congratulations on buying yourselves a post season. now go wash that fake stain off your socks.

the rub.
well i've spewed a lot of stuff that needed to be vented, which is odd because God has been really good these past few days (well, i've taken the time to notice). we got out of san diego safely after the convention, and some things around here that have been tough to deal with have settled down. i got spend time with some of the greatest friends i could ask for, and i got a chance to flirt with a bunch of attractive christian women. i got a number from a chica with amazing blue eyes, and i got a phone call from a kiddo that just needed to talk. i've seen prayers answered and hearts moved. i saw grown men cry out for renewal, and the same men on their knees accepting Jesus back into first place. i heard my thoughts put into words by teachers, and listened to kiddos ask questions to people they think have the answers. i sat with thousands of people that love ministry like i do and worshipped a God that loves us all.

i hope your day is blessed. i pray that as you read this your life is in a place that you can truly say that you love Jesus the way you want to.

one love, one heart.


'Live Free, Blog Hard'

so i'm hanging out at the local coffee shop with free wifi, and the barista chica sees me on my laptop (working on class for this week), and she comes over and says, "live free, blog hard". i'm not sure what that means, but i laughed anyways. so yes, i am one of those guys that hangs out at coffee shops and sits there with his drink and a laptop. there are worse things i could be.

this week is relatively mellow compared to last. plans and goals are getting finalized for our fall overhaul of the youth ministry. right now it's a matter of putting a name and some finishing touches on some events and i think we're going to be ready to go for our nov 1 starting date. i'm kind of excited. i feel like i just finished finals and all i have left are a few presentations.

i also started this franklin-covey organizational system that seems to be pretty cool so far. i still think it's a glorified day planner, but supposedly people pay a lot of money for the stuff that one of my deacons gave me for free. anyways, i basically spend time every day planning out the next day, and it helps me get more stuff done. i figure anything is better than what i'm doing now, but this seems pretty cool so far. it def has a spiritual side to it that's been a blessing the past week, and it's nice to look at my top priorities every day and see relationship with God at the top of list.

i finally got head down to murrietta this sunday and hang out with cactus james, and dantheman. i bought him his first baseball and glove, but he's still in the 'i can't hold things' phase. to his credit, he is only a few weeks old, so he has plenty of time to learn. it was pretty trippy to hold him though. he was quiet, seemed really strong, and just kind of sat there looking at me for a while. i was just glad that he didn't cry. all in all it made for a good week. oh yeah, and it was pretty cool seeing dantheman as a dad.

we hung out in san diego with some friends visiting from tulsa for most of the afternoon, then i had to head back norte to try and beat traffic, which didn't really work. but, it did afford me some time to blast some new tunes really loudly for a long time, which i enjoy a lot and haven't done in a while. i listened to both bedouin soundclash albums, angels and airwaves, some classics like wilson pickett, otis redding, james brown, the temptations and ben e. king. a pretty eclectic drive. anyways, there were a few lyrics that stuck out that i wanted to share.

I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone; I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough

-A Little's Enough by Angels & Airwaves

That chorus over and over again hit home. I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. call it a busy schedule, call it frustration, call it uncertainty, but there really is a lot to that idea that joy comes from opening up yourself for others to love you. i don't know, it hit home for me, and i've been in a much better mood the past few days.

When the walls fall down
On your old town
Then you began

See I had these walls
Built up so strong
Built when I was young
In wars I've won

But if I'm alone
Stone upon stone
So tall I could not see
Beyond my wall

But your walls fall down
And your walls fall down
And when walls come down
On your old town
You began

A bit unassured
A bit insecure
I climbed up to the top
And saw I lacked
And my fist stone cracked
Foundation collapsed
Standing on the ground
In stones I found

That your walls fall down
And your walls fall down
And when walls come down
On your old town
You began

In other lands
From where you stand
Beneath a shelter built by many hands
There is a stone
And you've locked the door
Of people you were swore
you came for war

And your walls fall down
Walls fall down
Walls fall down
Like a stone falls down
I'm no stone
I'm no stone
Its just a stone
Stone falls down
Says hes a stone
(Walls fall down
Walls fall down)
No man's a stone

-Walls Fall Down by Bedouin Soundclash

This song hit pretty hard mainly because i was on my way out of san diego. it made me think of all the different things i've had to lose, gain and go through in my journey over the last ten years or so.

the odds that i end up watching high fidelity tonite are pretty good.

and on a completely random note... why is it that a new pair of shoes are the most comfortable thing in the world? i found the most comfortable pair of shoes (or sandals - there's a debate going on) and i'm not sure if the reason i've worn them the past three days is that they're that comfortable, or i'm telling myself they are because they're new. oh yeah, and if anyone thinks i'm a shoe junkie, i left my old shoes at the beach this weekend so i needed a new pair. therefore this was buying - not shopping. anyways, here's a pic of my new shoes...

well, there's more excitement going on in my life, but i feel like skating for a few minutes before class starts up.

one love, one heart.


I'm not really superstitious, I'm just plain stitious.

so i'm in the middle of what may turn out to be an all nighter.

right now i'm literally watching paint dry.

i feel like i'm back in college again.

a couple of weeks ago i was asked to do a painting of a father and son walking down a path together. i thought i was feeling artsy this past weekend, but i looked at what my painting session had created and i was really frustrated. it looked like a weak attempt at a norman rockwell painting, which really isn't my style. i was pretty frustrated because the more i painted the more i didn't like what i saw. so i took a step back and painted over what i had. i started over with a fresh (dry) canvas and thought about what i would like to see. still stumped. so i went over to my stack of art(nerd) books and started looking through pictures i hadn't sen in a long time. and just like that the inspiration was back. i found this old surfer magazine that david carson had designed and remembered how i used to love his style back in the day. so i looked at the blank canvas and started putting stencils together with my painting in mind.

(break to spray another layer of stencils)

so instead of a father and son walking down a path i found a great pic my friend had taken of him and his dad walking at the beach towards the ocean. i photoshopped it out to get it stencil-ready, and started throwing down paint on the canvas. then i put together some cool one-off stencils for the youth group name and off i went.

i'm watching my canvas dry right now, and i'm feeling very in touch with God. it's been so long since i've done a painting like this, and it's something i enjoy so much. the problem with me and art is that i really have to be in a zone to put something together, and it's been so long since i've been in that zone. but looking at this painting and thinking of God listening to my cry for inspiration, it reminds me that i really need to cry out to God sooner for so many things. i sit here and wait for inspiration to hit, and God is right there waiting for me to cry out for help.

i just realized that i only closed the screen door and now my apartment smells like spraypaint. the cuz should get a kick out of that in the morning.

(breaking to clean up)

anyways, now that i've got all the stencil shavings cleaned up, i'm kind of ready to just sit back and enjoy what i've created. it's weird to think that in a few hours i have to hand this giant canvas off to someone else. i really don't like selling my paintings. maybe that's why i gravitate to stencil work? hmmm. either way, i'm smiling because i know tomorrow when i hand this off to my friend i can stand tall knowing that i like what i created.

what else...

the past few days have been a little rough. i found out that one of my best friends from jr high was killed in a motorcycle wreck back in 02. i had tried to get a hold of him ever since i've moved out here, and now i know why i haven't been able to. he was the only other white guy on the bus when i was in jr high, and although he was a couple of years older than me, he let me hang with his friends until i found my own group to be a part of. i never really fit in, but he always stuck up for me. i remember he used to give me a lot of grief about not acting like a christian too. i also remember very distinctly one time he told me that if i was a christian i should act like it. yeah, that still rings pretty clearly. i wish i could find out more about the events around his death, but the obituary records are a hassle and his parents don't speak a lot of english. but for the time being i have a mission. i'm going to track down his family and let them know he had an impact.

well, the sound of the keyboard is starting to get to me, so i think i'm going to call off the all-nighter and get some rest. i feel better having written all of this out anyways. thanks for joining in on my cheap alternative to therapy.

and because i don't want to leave on a downer note, be sure to check out my new favorite website dedicated to swedish rock bands from the 70's: www.omodern.com

i'll post a pic of the latest artwork soon.


one love, one heart.