another 48 hours....

well it's not just a great movie from the 80's, it's probably been up there as the sweetest two days i've ever had. to start off, I HAVE A JOB! i accepted the offer at simi valley on saturday. i was going to take a week to really think and pray on it, but God came through and made the decision obvious, kind of like having a big bright neon arrow pointing me there. thanks again God, when you make things this obvious it really makes it easy to trust you more. wow, so as of the 17th of september i am going to be an official working man. so what am i doing until then? enjoying being homeless, jobless, and w/o responsibility. i'm sure you will be able to find me camping out in the bronco at san onofre very frequently in the next few weeks.
right now i am home for the week to visit mom and pops. it's going to be a long week, but i feel like a conquering hero coming home. the best part is that now that i have a job, my visiting grandparents probably aren't going to give me a hard time. that part is still to come. either way, mom gave me a big hug and pops was visibly excited to see me, which is always a sweet part of coming home. the house is actually clean, and i don't really have anything planned but to spend some quality time with the folks, blow some cash and watch entirely too much late night tv. basically i am going to act 12 as long as i can. this is the closest thing i have ever had to total freedom and i am choosing to spend it acting 12, am i really ready for youth ministry? well, all the people at my parent's church were excited, i think it makes them happy to see one of the kids from the youth group actually move away from home and make their own life. they're an eclectic group of people, but man if i don't love coming home to see them, even if i do get enough old lady hugs that i come home smelling like the nordstrom's counter. oh well, a small price to pay to know you're loved.
that leads me to the next thing i've been dwelling on for exactly 48 hours at this point. topgun girl went to street scene with me on friday and she calle dme at 2 am to let me know she got home safely, because she thought i would be concerned. as i posted last time, i actually really was, but the fact that she thought that really has me wondering where we are at as far as a relationship goes. yeah i know i should be talking to her about this, but seeing my thoughts on screen really helps sort things out. so bear with me. the odd part came tonite at church when people started asking the 'so when are you getting married' question now that the 'so you have a job yet' question has been answered. i slipped to a few people that me and topgun girl were dating, just for simplicity, but i definitely haven't cleared that with her. it's just too lame trying to sit there and explain that we've gone out several times and i try and talk to her almost every day. when i did take the time to give a full (and honest) answer people just looked confused. doesn't anyone else remember feeling awkward at this point of a relationship? why pry? actually, the more i think about it the more i realize it's just me. there really is no way for people to find out i guess. oh well, i should probably worry more about topgun girl than people asking about her. so i called her up tonite because she left her id with me the other day, and i had to overnight fedex it to her. anyways, we were talking about coming home and the questions that arise, and we both have that awkward phase right now. i told her about the 'want to see you again' phase. talk about a big worm hanging out on the line. she laughed because she thought it was clever and could relate, but i don't really tink we talked about us being an us. lame. i hope i didn't miss a big chance there. we'll see. i don't think i'm going to make it very long w/o calling her, and i know i have anexcuse when i get a new phone in the next couple of days. this should be a lot of fun, trying to see if we can build something over a long distance. i'm in for it, we'll see what topgun girl thinks. this is almost as bad as waiting to hear back about the job. more to come as the story develops...
so street scene ended last night, and i have to say i had a great time going solo. the idiot's in charge only had two entrances open so i missed donovan frankenreiter, but g love tore it up, the marley bros. were unreal (even though they only did three bob songs) and jack johnson was brilliant as usual. it's cool to see him bring g love and donovan on stage because you know those guys are truly good friends, and it really comes across when they jam together. what a life, surfing and jamming together. mad props go out to the jack j fans as well, a pretty mellow crowd considering the size, but there were still a few people that were bugging because they 'deserved' to be up front and didn't mind running over me and other mellow people to get there. lame to you guys. and to top it all off, topgun girl called right as it was getting over and we talked about nothing til i made it on the trolley. needless to say it was the end to a perfect evening. i wish she didn't have to get up to go to work in the morning, but such is life, as i have the fortune of experiencing in a few weeks. till then it's family time, crashing on the friends couch time, and camping at san onofre.
one love, one heart.


i.... i just died in your arms tonite

so last night was the first of two nights for street scene, and i couldn't have asked for a better time. first, the bands. jimmy eat world put on a really good simple rock show, that had everyone up and moving around. no moshing as far as i could tell, just good clean fun. we caught the tail end of black eyed peas, and i know from seeing them perform before they put on a really energetic show, but i guess they were a little tired when we got there. salgoode, we were still rocking out to some 'where is the love'. then, the musical highlight of the night for me was seeing a tribe called quest take the stage for the first time together in over seven years. man, their cd's are so mellow and graceful, but they really turned it up and put on an energetic show last night. they played a bunch of really old stuff, and even did an encore with 'scenario'. i half expected busta rhymes to pop out onstage. i'm normally prefer rap cds over concerts, but i'll go see atcq again if i can after their performance last night. a close second to that was ben harper, who unfortunately for me, was playing at the same time as social distortion. topgun girl is a huge fan of ben , and i've seen both bands, so we originally decided to try and split the time. this plan was dumped when halfway through the set, ben harper brought out the blind boys of alabama. these guys turned the concert into a 20,000 person gospel revival. man it was simply amazing. the blind boys were really into, playing to the crowd, and i'm sure ben was absolutely loving the fact that he could perform some different songs live. i know topgun girl and i were floored, and we didn't mind missing the social d set.
then there's all of the typical peripheral concert stuff that goes on that you just have to laugh at. during jimmy eat world there were these two really cheesy ex-frat guys trying to talk and dance with these two girls the whole set and failing miserably. one had his sunglasses on the whole night, and the other forgot that he's bald and the comb-over really doesn't look too good when it's all sweaty. that, and you really don't need to wear a trendy dress shirt to an outdoor 20,000+ concert. the funniest part about one of the guys was the fact that he was nursing a red bull for over an hour. seriously, i think this guy would completely shut down and lose all self confidence if his hand wasn't somehow attached to or reaching for a beverage to hold. both of these guys were club dancing (to jimmy eat world) which had pretty much everyone around them laughing at their failing attempts to 'party', as they kept yelling. interesting sidenote though, topgun girl pointed out that as much as the two girls were shutting the guys down, they never really left or stopped talking to the guys. maybe they do deserve each other. the only thing that was really worse than that was the couple making out in front of us, who we didn't think were going to slow down, and make it really awkward for the people around them. fortunately they left and we could go back to a pg concert.
there were the other typical concert goers there too: the cell phone guy who calls his friend and tells them to listen, the middle age pot smoker who is too out of it to realize they don't know any of the bands playing, the teenage girls with their handbags that totally get in the way and are more than likely to get lost (this is also the crew that all wear sandals to a show and inevitably lose a few of them), there were the die-hard fans who were wearing the shirt of the band they were going to see, fortunately, we ended up spending a majority of our time in a group that was really mellow and having fun, cracking jokes. that really makes the time in between sets go quicker when you're surrounded by people that are fun to meet. mad props to san diego street scene goers at the ben harper stage. good people.
speaking of props to good people, i have to say that the highlight of the night was spending it with topgun girl. we had so much fun together last night, even though she had a run in with a big phobia of hers. we took the trolley to street scene because there really is nowhere to park downtown. the problem is that she has developed a phobia of closed places. heading down she was all right, she asked me to talk the whole time so she had something to focus on. heading back though was pretty tough. we waited for the crowds on the trolley to thin out a little before we got back on, the problem arose though, when we got stuck third in line at every stop and a normal 15 minute ride turned into a 45 minute ride. she was really scared, but closed her eyes and hugged me pretty much the whole time and trooped through it. i felt about 2 inches tall for suggesting the trolley to begin with, but she said it was the best way to go, and not to worry about it. we stopped for some gatorades before we went back home, and i told her i felt bad, because i enjoyed the trip home, and any night that ended with her holding on to me was good night in my book. she smiled fortunately. that, and she called to let me know when she got home because she thought i would be concerned. i was.
well, now it's time to get ready for another night of street scene. topgun girl can't make it tonite so i'll be the random guy there by myself, but i'll be there by myself watching donovan frankenreiter, g love, jack johnson, p.o.d., and the marley bros. doing a tribute to bob. then it's a quick night's sleep and my last class at la mesa in the morning and a trip to seattle to see the folks.
one love, one heart.


you're sayin the fbi is gonna pay me to learn how to surf?

point break, what a great movie.
so i got a job offer last night from the church in simi valley. it's so weird to think that people actually find me responsible enough to minister to their kids. i still don't keep my room clean or my laundry from piling up and now i'm going to act as a mentor for people on a spiritual level. there's a small part of me that wants to yell 'GOTCHA!' and then go run around throwing jello at people. in reality though, i am excited to finally have a job. i was really wondering how long i was going to have to pay my dues as an intern. so as of a few weeks from now i'm going to be gainfully employed in socal, thus fulfilling a life long dream of returning home. i can smell the sweet salty air already. until that time, as of sunday @ noon, i am for the first time in my life fully free. i don't have a clue where i'm going to stay, although camping out at san clemente will probably be involved. all i know is i want to see and do everything that won't really be an option when i start work. i want to look back and say,'when i was homeless, i had all of my possessions in the back of my bronco and i lived at the beach'. sweet.
so there are a few downsides to this job, which is why i haven't given an official answer as of yet. (i always take a week to pray on serious matters so as not to make a rash decision). the biggest thing is the fact that i am a san diegan through and through. i've always wanted to live here, surf, be a padres fan, eat buenos dias or tres grindage every day, and have mine and dantheman's youth groups know each other by name. also, there's the matter of topgun girl, who i have pretty much had a crush on for six years, but have never really been around or in contact to pursue. now that it's a possibility, i'm out. dang. trying to develop something over a long distance is not something i'm looking forward too, but we'll see. fortunately, talking to her on the phone is pretty easy, no real awkward moments or anything, and her laugh is awesome to listen to. also, being a youth minister allows certain freedoms like driving the two hours it would take to see her. man, it seems like the only time i meet girls i'm really interested in is when i'm right about to move.
another interesting note about the past couple of days, is that i have all of my possessions in one location for the first time in 6 years. not really a staggering statistic or that amazing considering i was in college for five years, but still... all of my stuff in one place. the crazy thing is that everything fits in my bronco. i know broncos are big and all, but the sight of seeing pretty much everything i own in one spot is somewhat humbling. fortunately i adopted minimalism as a way of life last year, otherwise i would need a u-haul. as i was staring out at the ride yesterday with all of my stuff in it, all i could think of was,' i really hope it doesn't get stolen'. profound to say the least.
going back to topgun girl, i had another thought about some of my relationships, or interests over the past few years, and i noticed a pretty common theme of nurses and teachers. weird. i'm sure there's something there regarding the shared desire to teach children, or caring for people's overall well being, but i'm not going to really address that. i was stoked to find a pic from camp of the day that i met topgun girl. is it wrong to say she really looks that same? different hairstyle and all, and a lot more tan, but overall there's not a whole lot to say that this pic wasn't taken last week. i don't think i'm going to mention this to her, but i def am going to have to show her the pic, because there is another girl in there whose name i don't remember, and that really bugs me for some reason.

on a much lighter note, i think i'm going to make more of a personal reminder for myself here, but this is what i listened to in the past 24 hours or so:
311 greatest hits
taking back sunday- where you want to be
bob marley- redemption songs
thicker than water soundtrack
50 first dates soundtrack
donovan frankenreiter ep
311- transistor
dogwood - matt aragon
everyday sunday
beach boys- pet sounds

oh yeah, street scene is this weekend, and tomorrow i'm going with topgun girl. sweet action.

one love, one heart.


a diamond in the rough

that's the name of the sixth grade yearbook that was recently found at my parents house. man, 1991-1992 may be my favorite school year ever. it was the only year that my best friend dantheman and i ever went to the same school, and i hung out at his house every day afterwards till my mom would pick me up. the school was pretty ghetto, and i found the picture of the kid that once shot someone at school. ironically the shooter's name was lucky. weird. i remember feeling on top of the worked in sixth grade. the only downer was that i tore my acl playing football in p.e., and had to spend six weeks on crutches. sidenote: dan's sister's were supposed to pick us up everyday after school when i was on crutches, and i can vividly recall having to crutch to dan's house, uphill, across on of the busiest streets in san diego, several times. thirteen years later and i still remind them of that every once in a while.

sixth grade was such a pivotal year for several reasons:
a: i had my first 'girlfriend', even though we never went anywhere outside of school. let's just say i bought her a bunch of chocolate stuff throughout the year.
b: my first time to ditch school came when mom picked me and dantheman up early one day to go see the first showing of Wayne's World in san diego. my commitment to academic excellence was shattered by a simple 'shyeaaah'
c: Boyz n Da Hood came out, beginning a still standing tradition of wearing my pants below my underwear line, or sagging.
d. my first pair of actual reebok pumps, as opposed to the payless (getmadefunof) brand.
e. it was the one year that overalls were in style, and I'M BRINGING THEM BACK IN 04!
f. i heard my first 'yo mama' joke

anyways, i love looking through old yearbooks to try and remember faces and names, but mostly too look at what people wrote. seriously, whoever thought of signing yearbooks? the only thing i can see as a positive, is that the signatures help me remember who i was friends with, probably. i can think of a few names that are missing, and i know some of the kids that signed i don't like. fortunately i had the foresight to underline names of people that i was friends with. man was i on top of my game. i know this is just a random post of sorts, but it's always good to have a reminder to go look up old pics from the past. before i go here's a few of my favorite classic quotes from my sixth grade yearbook:

'roses are red, dandelions are yellow, if you lose a food stamp, i'll bet you feel mellow'
-david hoch

'stay cool and have a great summer'
-everyone else

one love, one heart.



so i have always had a nickname. my mom knew all along that she was going to call me d.j. i'm not really sure why, but i've always thought it was fun. nicknames in general can be a lot of fun. i love it when people are known by their nickname, it really creates a unique bond and identity for a person to have a nickname. i remember at church camp growing up my friends and i (the legendary cabin 24) would try and come up with nicknames for as many people as we could, and put them together in a song for the talent show. talking to nurse girl (who got her nickname by her relation to the camp nurse) recently made me realize even more the power of having a nickname. she is a few years younger than me and my friends, and back in my camp days she was a very quiet and shy underclassmen that never did anything to really grab any attention. she told me that her highlight of camp that year was that we knew who she was and took the time to give her a nickname. that got me thinking the other day at some of the other nicknames of friends of mine that really make me laugh. i started cracking up looking through my phonebook at how many nicknames there are. here's some of my favorite nicknames of my friends, and how they got them.

al-dogg - the whitest guy around, loves rap, seriously thinks he was born black
jill-dogg - his little (somewhat unfortunate) sister
HEYDave- he used to yell a lot in our apt for no apparent reason (sidenote: never come up with a nickname yourself. he wanted us to call him jewish wolf monkey. not a chance)
andibro- when i first met him he said, 'my name is andi bro'. i told him andibro was an unusual name and asked him where he was from
shorty - is 7'6"
juaner - nobody named jon should be w/o a nickname
slainte- for his fondness of procuring glasses from bennigan's
sparky- not sure about the history, but love the fact no one knows his real name
moose or chewie - this guy has the hairiest chest around
pud - my old youth minister
lane 6 - my dad asked the guy what aisle he should park in, the toll collecter said 'lane six sir' dad asked which one that was, and the guy replied 'the one with the giant six painted in front of it sir'.
camrock- never has anyone rocked an acoustic guitar so hard
dainty- my friend is very skinny and hates this name. that's why it sticks
t-murder or t-bone - picture george mcfly
big booty ho - this is the only time i've ever let anyone pick her own nickname. haven't a clue why
trucker - some girls started calling me this my freshmen year after i told them my dad and i like to eat at greasy spoons for quality time together
flo - my friends gave this name to my ladyfriend of the time
full house- my old nickname at camp
deej- i used to hate this, until i realized i could call people 'gibbler' as a response
dan the man- not very creative, but my best friend is good at everything he does, so it fits

more to come later i'm sure. one love, one heart.

careful, the pizza is hot

i burned my tongue and the roof of my mouth on some hot pizza yesterday. i knew it was hot but i attempted to try it anyways. now i can feel every single taste bud trying recuperate. just thought it was noteworthy.

one love, one heart.

thinking about my purchases

so there are a couple of purchases i made recently that have me looking at my spending habits and personality among other things. first off, i bought a pair of checkerboard slip-on vans last week. back in the hardcore ska days i would have killed for these, and now i think i bought them simply out of love for fast times at ridgemont high. i'm looking at my feet now and wondering if i really needed another pair of shoes. the more i think about it though, shoes really can say a lot about a person, esp when they dress relatively non-descript like i tend to do. baseball hat, navy t-shirts and blue jeans are the norm in my wardrobe, which is why my friend's wife makes jokes about signing me up for what not to wear (i keep a constant lookout for cameras). anyways, i realize that my shoes are really the only outlet of dress that i take advantage of to express myself, so buying a pair of off the wall (get it... vans... off the wall) shoes isn't necessarily something i should regret. i wore them out tonight when i went to go grab coffee with nurse girl and i got several compliments about them. it was kind of cool because i think people assumed i was confident enough in myself to wear something somewhat out of the norm. i'm not really sure how true that is, i just know they make me laugh because i think of jeff spicoli. i also think of the last purchase i made because of a movie character. a couple of years a go i bought a Detroit Tigers hat, and my friends thought it was because my name starts with a D. in actuality, i thought it looked cool on Doughboy ( ice cube in Boyz in da Hood).
another purchase i made recently was the new bad religion album. not really a typical purchase for a devout christian, but man i love their harmonies. i know they are outspoken atheists and all, and their previous albums (that i justify having in my collection because they were copies given to me) touch on the religious issue, but with intellectual debate. this album was really tough to listen to though, because they are so much more outspoken on this record. i started really reading through the lyrics though, and i noticed several interesting things. first, they really seemed to view christianity as coming back into mainstream culture, and having an impact on the world. i know that may not seem like great news to some, but to me it was encouraging to hear the other side concerned about the upswing of christian culture again. secondly, bad religion is known for their potent social commentary, and the more i read into their lyrics the more i realize that they really do promote ideas that are founded in christian fundamentals. i really find it ironic that they criticize christian culture, then turn around and make suggestions to improve society like respect, kindness, compassion, freedom of choice, and love that come directly from biblical teachings. lastly, i see a common theme in their defense of there not being a God that seems to be pretty typical, and seemingly well thought out. suffering is a problem that many people struggle with, in terms of the existence of a higher being. how could a loving God let people suffer? i wish i knew a sure-fire answer, but my own personal beliefs will have to suffice for now. God does not create suffering. suffering is caused by humans acting out of selfishness. or, for those who seem to 'not deserve it', suffering is meant to be a way to lead by example. i look at my dad's battle against a brain tumor as an example. he has done nothing to deserve to suffer, but do we complain to God? no. because we all have had opportunities to do good because of it, in spite of it, that would have never existed if he lead a 'normal' life. my dad has been living on what some consider borrowed time, and because of that he has made sure to never miss an opportunity to love his family and friends. i know my decision to become a youth minister is directly tied to my father's example. my sister and i have a great relationship with each other, or families and our friends. not the kind of relationships that come about by superficial interests, but deep down, soul based feelings that we have. so when people wonder about suffering, i look at the opportunity for good to happen. to me the fact that a child can smile when a tapeworm is literally eating them alive is proof that there is a God, and he has every intention of giving them eternal bliss.

oh yeah, i bought a pepsi and some rolled tacos today at buenos dias too. gotta love socal.
one love, one heart.

speaking of lists.....

so our country is fascinated by lists. i hope the letterman writer who came up with the idea of the 'top ten' list should be given some kind of nobel prize for the chain reaction that has been set off. so i was thinking of fun lists i could make, but for the sake of simplicity, i'm going to start off with just a few basic ones....

my top ten favorite songs
10. down -311
9. ohh ahh - grits
8. rudy can't fail - clash
7. fall line - jack johnson
6. deville - strung out
5. my name is mud - primus
4. ruby soho - rancid
3. ball and chain - social distortion
2. ring of fire - johnny cash
1. three little birds -bob marley

that was simple enough, how about something more difficult

top ten ideas for movie characters

10. someone trying to get out of their 15 minutes of fame
9. a guy trying to open up an ethnic hair care store in montana
8. a stadium peanut vendor
7. inspector #8 from my last pair of levi's
6. a doorman
5. a crazy blind guy that travels across country by bus listening to the radio wherever he goes and eating bbq
4. proffesional hackey sacker
3. a guy that looks like cedric the entertainer, and has to keep trying to convince people that he's not famous
2. the backup singer/ rythym guitarist for a cover band that plays at the mall on fridays
1. a hot-dog-on-a-stick employee

hmmm.... those were kind of fun, and def more challenging that i though they would be. more to come later i'm sure. one love, one heart.


and now for something different...

so way back in the day my friend 'mikey' and i had a music magazine called move your car. it was a blast reviewing cds and making our own zine, and it had great benefits like meeting bands, free cds and free concert tix. anyways, i haven't been able to find any copies of my first published works, which has always been kind of sad. so the last time i was home i was really stoked when i found a copy of one of the articles that we had the most fun writing. we spent all day at a newstand 'reviewing our competition', which is funny in itself since our circulation never topped 5,000 and these guys were actually on the rack. so here it is, from the rough copy i found in my garage... an official exerpt from move your car #7

myc Reviews the Competition

We were wandering through the magazine racks downtown recently and we noticed some pretty stiff competition in the magazine business. So we're going to make fun of the rest. Here are some awards we made up, and some random observations we made about a few others. Have fun and see what else you could be reading right now.

Barbie Bazaar
the most bizarre magazine we found

ironically this magazine was only available indoors, printed on paper

Morbid Curiosity
we were wondering...

Your Flesh
hmmm what to do, what to do...

Fireman's World
for the latest and greatest in the hoses and hydrants

we dropped this one so we had to buy it

Gardens Illustrated
the swimsuit edition comes out in march

The Baffler
we couldn't quite figure this one out

Family Photo
because staring at your own family pictures isn't boring enough

Unix Review
pronunciation is the key to this one

Satellite Times
for the stay at home astronaut

American Cheerleader
we were like, gonna buy this one, but we weren't like fer sure...

Chess Life
in case you missed the coverage of big blue on espn

we weren't quite sure about this one

best magazine dedicated to a letter:
3. Q
2. a/W (tie)
1. S

most useless magazine
3. Tiki News
2. Make Up artist
1. American Tugboat

best cover model
3. Backwoods Home Magazine
2. Inter Mountain Women
1. Girls of Outlaw Biker Magazine

one word says it all:
3. Blue
2. Might
1. Joop

best magazine dedicated to log cabins:
3. Log Home Living
2. Log Home Design

1. Log Home Illustrated

best overall:
3. Horn World
2. Knit Hooking
1. American Taxidermist

other zines we just couldn't think of anything to say about, but felt they were worth mentioning:
Inner Ear
Red Herring
Wild Duck Review
Australian Tattoo
Rock & Ice
Various Gun and Weapon magazines (we're a little too scared to make fun of any by name)

well, i hope you get some laughs from this like we did. one love, one heart.


you ever wish you could go back in time...

so my sister is starting at acu this week, and for the first time ever (including the fact that she never had to pay her own car insurance) i think i am jealous of her. how much fun would it be to start college over again. i know most people study and all that, but i really had nothing but fun for the most part. the one condition of me going back would be that chrs billings was still there, which really isn't too much of a stretch. chrs billings was by far the most influential person i met at oc. i know he's goofy and not everyone is going to agree with me, but he really had a gift of making people step out of ther comfort zones. no matter what you did, you were never as goofy as chrs. so as he got farther and farther out there, the rest of us did by association, but we never had to worry about getting the negative attention, because we were never as out there as chrs. i remember spending so much time worrying about what people thought me, and beign around chrs and his attitude really helped me get rid of any sense of shame or embarassment. i remember feeling so free the first time t realized i truly didn't care if i fit in or not, but that i was having fun. when chrs graduated (which is proof that anyone can) i remember how we all told stories about him for the next few years and thought that was a great legacy. my sister made me think of this when she was talking about this group of guys she met yesterday, and she said she couldn't wait to see them 'open up and not worry about trying to be cool'. wow, my sister is light years ahead of me my freshmen year. she's a female chrs billings, which would make her like sommer, which is odd because they talk alike..... hmmmm.....
speaking of opening up, i recently read the book, dare to be honest. what a mindbender. it talks about how our culture justifies lying and deciet and rationalization. i realized how much i still do this to myself. i blow things out of proportion in my mind, then when they don't happen as planned, i get very down on myself. it got me to thinking about how closed we are as a society. the catalyst for this was last night when i was talking to topgun girl (see previous post). we ended up talking for a couple of hours and she was opening up to me right off the bat in a way that was great, but i really wasn't expecting. i eventually asked why she felt okay to share these things with me, and she said we had already laid the groundwork for being open on our date on sunday. i don't say that to brag, but it really makes me wonder how closed we as a society have made ourselves, that honesty could be that inviting. also, we talked about different stages in relationships, and we decided that there should be another official term of 'would like to see them again'. for the record, i would like to see topgun girl again.
something else happened today that really bothered me. i was grabbing some buenos dias grub, and there was this old black guy there that looked like he had been burned almost to disfigurement. he was missing one eye and the other was mostly white. he asked me for a couple of bucks for dinner and i gave him two (of the 27 in my pocket) w/o saying a word. he thanked me and i walked back across the parking lot to the church knowing full well i could have done more to help that poor guy. fortunately God gave me a second chance to redeem myself when he came to the church office and asked for a ride to the bus station for an interview. got me thinking though, i wonder how many opportunities i pass by. why? i'm still kind of disapointed in myself for not taking advantage of the opportunity the first time, but am very grateful for the second chance.
and finally, for one of those disturbing stories that only happens to me... on my flight out to juaner's wedding a couple of weeks ago, our plane was stuck at the terminal for an hour due to inclimate weather. so the wannabe cowboy in the nascar hat, and the kentucky clubtrash in the low cut that were sitting beside me (seriously, when are airlines going to get rid of the center seat) decide to have a drinking contest. so i thorw on the headphones and try to ignore the fact that i have stupid in stereo. so we finally get off the ground and the flight drags on... these two get dumber and dumber... and i eventually feel the need to get up and stretch and get a change of scenery so i go to the bathroom to throw some water on my face, freshen up etc. so when i go back down the aisle, i see that the toothless wonder i sitting in my seat. not bad actually, let the two idiots entertain themselves. so i throw the eargoggles on and spend more energy focusing on primus lyrics than i ever have before and try and get some sleep. after a few minutes of sleep i realize that the two next to me aren't talking anymore, so i make the huge mistake of opening my eyes. she's leaning over him 'looking out the window', with one hand on the armrest and the other in his lap. ugh. how wrong is that. so the flight ends and so does my misery. then, in the terminal the lady that was sitting across the aisle from me comes over and asks me how i managed to keep a somewhat straight face. i really didn't have a response. then she tells me she ran into the cowboy who was talking on his cell to his friends saying, 'yeah... this hot blonde just came over and started hanging all over me...'. yeah. pretty lame.
well, i've got padres tix and the jones for some rolled tacos. one love, one heart.


only a surreal day could get me to start this...

so here i go, i feel like i'm merging onto the 805 by joining the millions with their own blogs, but i def rationalize this by assuming that this will be better than any other attempts at journaling. so i still do not have a job, insurance or even an idea of where i'm going to be living next month. freedom is not as fun as i expected. here i am weeks away from not having any responsibility, and then it hits me that bills and such are going to catch up to me pretty soon. i wonder how they will find me if i dont have an address?
i'm not really in a bad mood, which is when i normally write, but i'm just having one of those surrreal days. i was driving to the bank today and i made the mistake of wondering about where all these people on the freeway are going. for my friends back in the midwest, dallas traffic at rush hour is pretty standard out here, except we move at 70 mph. back to the point, looking at all these people and wondering really gets me in a spin. not really sure why, it just does. this is why i keep my blinds closed at the church office where i'm interning. staring out at all of the people that drive by puts into perspective how many people i have to minister to. that's always a humbling thought that will put you in your place.
today was surreal for another reason. i had a date last night that went really well, and i'm doing the typical 'when should i call' thing today. def dont want to do anything to jeopardize a second date, but there is that akward feeling today. oh well, i'm prob worrying about nothing. i've noticed something though... the stress over asking a girl out is in direct proportion to how good looking she is. i recognize that could be construed as pretty harsh, but the reality is the more attractive a female is, the harder it is (normally) to just walk up and talk to her. i'm sure someone out there can back this up, if not, more power to you. either way, she's really attractive and she laughs at my jokes, which i s always a good start. also, the first time i met her was probably the smoothest thing i've ever done. that was six years ago and she still remembers so i guess it couldn't have been all bad (think topgun bar scene).
well, it's that time of day where i go eat some of san diego's finest mexican food. one of the joy's of my internship is working at a church that shares a parking lot with buenos dias california. not only does it have the greatest name of any taco stand, but the best rolled tacos in s.d.

one love, one heart.