ahhhh, the week that was....
so last week i was at palomar church camp down near san diego and i don't know where to begin to describe my week.
i guess i'll start off with the theme, which was 'the battle within', focusing mainly on the different elements of war that we wage daily against evil. evil comes in so many ways, arrogance, pride, apathy, distraction, and that's just the ones i thought of in the first day. our devos at camp were awesome as well. i really thought we were going to struggle because our worship leader is pretty new to the area and didn't know too many songs, but God pulled through and really blessed us with a great time of worship. we had our annual midnight hike to this clearing in the woods where it is so easy to see the beauty of God's creative side. the worship was awesome and included several kids contributing that last year you would have never thought possible. weds night also boasted the jacket devo, where kids use a jacket to represent Christ, and act out their relationship using the jacket. (i.e. jacket on and zipped means a close relationship, hung over the shoulder not as close) that was an awesome time of worship because all of the kids got to see where each other stood in their relationships, and were pretty amazed at how similar their stories were. lots of respect goes out to the kids that stepped out of their comfort zones and really bared their souls. friday night was a blast as well, with our pillowcase signing party going till about 5 in the morning. thursday night was by far the highlight for me though. we started of with our concert of prayer, where we break up into groups of five or six and go through four specific prayers for humility, forgiveness, praise and thanksgiving. my group was simply amazing. we are all in different places spiritually, but were so united in our prayer. it was cool the physical difference in our prayers as well. for humility we all decided to be on our knees and hold hands, forgiveness we had our arms around each other, for praise we all put our hands in the middle, and for thanksgiving we turned our hands palms up. it was awesome as we progressed, because some of us were in desperate need of humility, others for forgiveness, and all of us really needed to praise and thank God. by the time we got to praise we were so spent, and felt so free from praying for forgiveness that we actually started to laugh as we prayed. it's hard to explain, but someone made the observation that satan was 'getting his butt kicked by God' at that moment, and it really struck a chord, because i think that's how we all felt at that moment. anyways, our prayer time turned from long individual prayers, to quick comments to each other and God, all the while looking each other straight in the eye. def different from how i'm used to praying, but it was so spirit driven i really felt like i was liberated from everything that separates me from God at that time. our group consisted of one who tries to do everything himself, a guy that let's down his adopted family and is constantly being forgiven, a guy who would literally rock God's message every second of the day if he could, a guy who struggles with the images he puts in his head, a guy that has wondered if anyone would notice if he weren't there, another that uses comedy as a distraction from pain, and a guy that is simply wondering where he fits in to God's plan. it's like a christian version of the breakfast club. anyways, there's a certain type of bonding that can only come from praying with another and an open heart. follow that with a time where we got to wash each others feet, and i was emotionally spent. friends were washing each other's feet, brothers and sisters, total strangers, fellow youth ministers, but the one that got to me was one of the counselors washing the feet of his son. man, what an image. i hope i never lose that mental picture. what a great statement for a father to make to a son.
we also had daily prayer partners, and that was a huge blessing as well. i prayed with one young lady who comes from a catholic background and felt completely out of place. i reminded her that we are part of the body of Christ, and that the church was secondary to that, and her first priority is to read the word and follow what God has guided us to do. we talked about baptism and what it means to repent, and several other issues, but it was a blast for me because she looks and has the same mannerisms as my sister did when she was that age.
there were so many people that stick out in my mind from this weekend. the first and foremost is this kid jeremy. jeremy was the kid the counselors were warned about last year. he came to camp wearing a trench coat and a slipknot shirt. he had long black hair and looked like he was pretty mad at the world. we were prayer partners one day last year, and i remember him telling me he didn't think God could forgive him for all of the stuff he had done. he prayed for me a job, and we prayed that God show jeremy his power. ffwd a year to jeremy walking down the hill toward camp with a grin on his face that never let up the entire week. no joke, this kid never stopped smiling the entire week. last year he was the kid that kept his whole cabin up asking random questions like, 'why don't they have mint flavored soda?' and being really distracting. i do remember though one night towards the end of the week last year where he burned all of his heavy metal shirts in the bonfire, saying he wanted to change. this year i don't think he started a public statement without prefacing it' God is awesome'. amen. God is awesome. He took a kid that was so guilty and turned him into a unanimous vote for the hotseat, a time where the campers and staff get to pay him compliments. i hope i never forget my eyes getting cloudy as he walked down the hill towards me for the first time with huge grin and a smile, giving me a hug and telling me, 'God answers prayers'. yes He does jeremy, He gave me a job and showed you the power of His grace. I hope we are constantly are reminded of that.
who else... there's another guy that always reminds me of how much God loves sharing His grace. this kid was bounced around from foster home to foster home for most of his young life, until a family at church finally took him in. talk about understanding love and grace. what's really cool is that the family just adopted another young man of a different race, and they call themselves brothers with a pride that is simply amazing.
then there's my whole cabin that simply floors me with their attitudes towards living life on the front lines. these are the guys that are into christian hardcore, that have no problem expressing their faith at the top of their lungs, and with every action. sure there are some fart jokes in there as well, but i have no doubt these guys are soldiers for Christ.
then there's this whole other crop of guys that have no problem expressing their love for each other trough service and through hugs. man did we get some good hugs in this week. i would go and list them name by name, but i feel that would be so redundant i wouldn't do them justice. they should just know that they are loved, and it is evidenced in the way they love others.
then there's the counselors. i wish i could say that my motives for going to camp were completely about serving God, but it would be wrong to deny how much i wanted to see my friends again.
my friend 'supermodel' always makes me laugh, esp when we got into a 'pose-off' one day and were literally on the floor cracking each other up. then she told me about an organization called models for christ. i kid you not, this may the greatest Christian club i have ever heard of. only in my dreams have i imagined something like this, and it really exists. needless to say, when she moves up here at the end of summer, we're going to be hanging out a bunch.
then there's myshell, who will forever laugh, and keep me laughing as well. never a dull moment around her.
my friend the bum really cracked me up too. last year he was in the marines, and was pretty quiet outside of the cabin. this year he's been unemployed and loving it for four months, and i don't think he said anything that wasn't funny the entire week. we even dragged him onstage at the talent show to sing a song he made up to wake up the guys that didn't feel like getting out of bed.
then there's 'the brat', who has always been a person that has one-upped me, and used to be the one person i would never mess with for fear of retribution. actually, our families are great friends and we've know each other for way too long. she still intimidated me for a sec until she brought up a story about how when we were little she peed her pants and had to borrow my g.i. joe underwear. yep, after that i just don't think she had too much to embarrass me with.
the rest of the counselors were all pretty cool as well, we get along great and i wish i had more stories on the rest of them, but my typing really can't keep up with my thoughts.
then there's the other people that somehow just show up at camp for a while. dantheman and futuremom made an appearance which was pretty cool, topgun girl stopped by a couple of times which at first was awkward, but ended up being okay. we didn't talk a whole lot, but i don't think there's really anymore drama there. then there's bulletproof, who i haven't really gotten a chance to talk to in eight years, and who def defined some of my fondest camp memories. we talked for a long time, and i tried to give her a hard time, but as usual, she wasn't buckling.
the godfather was there recruiting for his new program at cascade college, which is just an odd place to associate with him. i still haven't gotten used to him not being a part of san diego. oh well, it was great to see him in his element getting the props he deserves. after 14 years of ministry he's become pretty famous for his stories, and one day he had a whole crowd at free time completely hanging on every word of his stories. you know you're big when you have to use a mic so everyone can hear your stories.
but the cake goes to mi amigo noodles for the week. he's not even a full time minister, but he had camp dropped in his lap and he really ran with it. i know he stresses and everything, and there were def things that were a potential distraction and/or disaster, but he handled them all with grace and ease. i was so excited to get to wash his feet, because he is such a great servant, and i normally don't look up to guys my own age a whole lot, but noodles will always be an exception. we had to stay up one night to wait for some parent's to pick up their kid and we had the best laugh either one of us has had in a long time. it's one of those 4 in the morning cleanse the soul kind of laughs that could never be explained, and trying to do so would only taint the experience. anyways, we had a good time and i hope he's is currently somewhere away from a computer and phone relaxing with the knowledge that God completely took over last week.
other thoughts on camp...
we had a football team sharing the camp that comes from a 'christian' school up here in simi. the first day one of them was wearing a confederate bandana, to which the coach replied, 'yeah i guess we live in some PC times'. no, actually we just don't really like to see symbols of hatred. and then there's the crew that snuck into our cabin at 230am and broke a window throwing water balloons, then tried to deny that they did when we have pictures of the wet glass on the floor and balloon shrapnel on the window. way to try and distract our camp guys, it didn't work.
i think the thing that separates this camp from any other that i've worked at is the openness and honesty that everyone brings. it is truly a nonjudgmental place where everyone feels compelled to let go of things that distract them from God. i wish we could be more open and honest everywhere else, but it is jut so hard. i tried yesterday at church and it just wasn't the same. i don't think people were ready for it.
so where do i go from here? not sure really. i know i need to work on getting out of God's way in the youth ministry here if we are ever going to be successful. i'm not sure what that means but i'm sure i'll know when i need to.
on to other stuff...
i went to the dodger game last night with a fam from church for the big fireworks show which ended abruptly when some trees in the parking lot caught on fire. way to go pyros.
i hate mosquitos.
i love my friends and kiddos down in s.d., but it was great to get back to simi. it's just nice to have a place to call home.
don't you love that tired feeling when you know that you're tired for a good reason?
the only tv i've watched since i got back was ''we were soldiers' and baseball, although i did wake up this morning and my tv was on telemundo.
we have our vbs this week and my throat is pretty raw from singing in the mountain air. i completely forgot i'm leading singing this week.
oh yeah, i finally went in to the optometrist and got my eyes checked out. seems i should wear glasses at night to help me see farther and more clearly, how was seeing more clearly not a priority of mine sooner?
well, i think i've ruminated enough for today. it's nice outside and i feel like watching stuff blow up to celebrate our country's birth. which leads me to my final thought:
every july 4th fireworks show should end with a performance of the national anthem by jimi hendrix.
one love and one heart.
6.24.2005
Mr. Freeze: Let me guess, Plant Girl? Vine Lady? Huh? Hand over the diamond Garden Gal, or I'll turn you into mulch!
i remember back in the day when summer was a time for me to laze around and do as much of nothing as i possibly could in between hanging out with dantheman. we've been on our summer schedule for three days now, and i think i've spent more time in my boardshorts than i have regular shorts. nice start to summer in my book. my real kickoff is next week though at palomar camp. i can't even begin to describe how big of a spiritual lift camp is for me every year. i'm bringing a couple of kiddos with me from simi to meet folks down south, and kinda get that spiritual kickoff as well. i know from the past that camp always chenges me for the better, and i would probably scare the kids if i came back w/o having other there to explain what went on. it's kinda like when you see a great snl skit, and you try to explain it to other people, and it never really works unless there's at least one other person who's seen it.
other stuff, there must be a conspiracy against me on the road. i swear i've been stuck behind more people driving ten under the speed limit the past few days. seriously, going 45 on the freeway is more likely to cause a wreck than going 70. also, onramps are for accelerating, not for stopping to gauge traffic. if you're really that concerned about having a gap to get in, wait till 11 pm or so when traffic clears up.
so i've been practicing trying to sing and play guitar at the same time, which is a huge feat for someone who was born tonedef and w/o rythym. mad props to lead singers who play instruments. anyways, the songs i've been learning are: ring of fire by johnny cash, story of my life by social distortion and in a moment of randomness... what's up by 4 non blondes. next on my list is some flock of seagulls and neil diamond.
i'm going to see the new batman movie tonight which has me pretty stoked. here's some of my random thoughts on batman: 1. he is by far my favorite superhero because he has no super powers, just his mind and some cool gadgits to help him out. B. i may be the only person that actually enjoyed the past couple of batman movies. i think they were a great homage to the old show, but i am really glad to see this movie go back to the comic version. 3. my parents paid for a different movie and snuck in to see the original batman move 16 years ago at the urging of one of their friends. i just think that it's pretty cool that's the only crime i can think of my mom ever committing.
speaking of movies, they are releasing a 3 dvd boxed set of the bill and ted's series. it really doesn't matter what's on the third disc, i'm buying it the day it comes out. you should too.
at the rate i'm going the past few weeks, it's going to be a whole year before i finish my cd. don't hold your breath.
well, after a day of painting vbs sets, swimming with the kiddos and going to see batman, i'm going to sleep easy tonight. well, my break in the day is up, just thought i'd check in and say hi to the two of you that read this (or at least respond) whoever else happends to stumble by.
other stuff, there must be a conspiracy against me on the road. i swear i've been stuck behind more people driving ten under the speed limit the past few days. seriously, going 45 on the freeway is more likely to cause a wreck than going 70. also, onramps are for accelerating, not for stopping to gauge traffic. if you're really that concerned about having a gap to get in, wait till 11 pm or so when traffic clears up.
so i've been practicing trying to sing and play guitar at the same time, which is a huge feat for someone who was born tonedef and w/o rythym. mad props to lead singers who play instruments. anyways, the songs i've been learning are: ring of fire by johnny cash, story of my life by social distortion and in a moment of randomness... what's up by 4 non blondes. next on my list is some flock of seagulls and neil diamond.
i'm going to see the new batman movie tonight which has me pretty stoked. here's some of my random thoughts on batman: 1. he is by far my favorite superhero because he has no super powers, just his mind and some cool gadgits to help him out. B. i may be the only person that actually enjoyed the past couple of batman movies. i think they were a great homage to the old show, but i am really glad to see this movie go back to the comic version. 3. my parents paid for a different movie and snuck in to see the original batman move 16 years ago at the urging of one of their friends. i just think that it's pretty cool that's the only crime i can think of my mom ever committing.
speaking of movies, they are releasing a 3 dvd boxed set of the bill and ted's series. it really doesn't matter what's on the third disc, i'm buying it the day it comes out. you should too.
at the rate i'm going the past few weeks, it's going to be a whole year before i finish my cd. don't hold your breath.
well, after a day of painting vbs sets, swimming with the kiddos and going to see batman, i'm going to sleep easy tonight. well, my break in the day is up, just thought i'd check in and say hi to the two of you that read this (or at least respond) whoever else happends to stumble by.
6.20.2005
twice in one day, i may be addicted. or i'm just tired.
oh yeah, i saw this thing on someone else's blog, and since i've had over 2,000 hits on my blog i'd kinda like to know who's reading this. so if you don't mind, please let me know who you are and where you're from, and maybe something interesting about your town.
also, i started posting some of my artwork on another blog, so feel free to check out my stuff at dversion.blogspot.com or go to my profile and click on the dversion link at the bottom of the page.
one love, one heart.
also, i started posting some of my artwork on another blog, so feel free to check out my stuff at dversion.blogspot.com or go to my profile and click on the dversion link at the bottom of the page.
one love, one heart.
Glenn: This is a great idea. I'm glad you came around. You want to do some gambling and have some fun right away, or you just want to get married?
what a weekend...
so my boy kelso finally got married this past weekend and i got to go out to houston to be a part of it which was a blast. def what i needed before summer hits here with the youth ministry. when i say finally got married, i mean that in a good way, it was one of those situations where you sometimes forget that the couple aren't already married. anyways, let's get some details here before i forget...
i got in thurs afternoon and hung out with the kelso fam for a while, and tried to adjust to 100 degrees and 90 percent humidity. seriously, if i were on of those guys in the alamo, i would have let santa ana have the whole state if it were around the middle of june. anyways, it was cool because i got to see a bunch of people that i hadn't really seen since graduation and i was pretty stoked to actually say that i have a full time job. thweat got in later that night and we hung out at kelso's apt waaaay too late, but it was cool because it was seriously like the college days, up talking about nothing with no regard for the clock. the next day we met up with eby for lunch and it was pretty much nonstop laughs from that point on. picking up tuxes was some comedy, gong to wal-mart was actually fun, those little things that can only be a blast when you are with a bunch of kf's.
oh yeah, can't forget about the prank call. one of mi compadres is a youth minister in okc, and he was driving down from dallas so we decided to give him some grief. i called as 'dan from the oklahoma city juvenile correctional facility', and went on to reel him in to believing that one of his kids was incarcerated and his only phone call was to his youth minister. come to find out the kid we knew actually did get in some trouble and our compadre was pretty worried. anyways, we had him going for about five minutes before i was about to lose it and we let him know what was going on. not to brag, but it was prob one of my best prank calls ever. it's good to know i still have the touch.
so back to actual wedding details...
the wedding itself was pretty cool, but it did have some memorable highlights. the wedding dress was evidently a bit too long because halfway down the aisle she had to pick it up if she was going to make it up the steps. one of the ringbearers decided to use his pillow to take a nap on the first row, which got a good laugh. also, it was blazing hot in our tuxes, and with a few hundred people in the building the ac wasn't exactly cutting it. i'm sweating bullets onstage, with one sliding down my cheek, to which i can see a lady in the audience point and mouth out 'oh how cute, he's crying.' the funniest though, was me waiting for a chance to wipe the sweat from my forehead, and trying to remember how long we had till the first prayer. i remember the second the minister started praying i wiped my forehead off and i heard the photographer take a picture. great, i just ruined a picture of the whole wedding party praying. come to find out, there were about eight others who did and were thinking the exact same thing. that's the wedding pix i want to see, all of us wiping off our heads. actually the pic i want to see is our 'draft day' pix. kelso got all of his groomsmen hats from their home town baseball team (fortunately he remembered i'm an angels fan) which is a great idea, and we took a pic together where it looks like we all got drafted. nice.
the reception was cool, we kinda hung out for a while, but the place was actually decorated really nicely, it looked like something straight out of a magazine. i kinda felt bad because we were all pretty tired from the previous nights, and didn't feel like mingling a whole lot, but i managed to meet a few southern accents, and visit some friends i hadn't seen in a while. sidenote: sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than it is to good friends that you haven't said a word to in years. esp when they're married. we took some pics of the oc crew and i def forgot my camera, so all of you guys that were there and claim to read my blog i'd love for you to email me some copies.
other random thoughts from this weekend:
i'm starting up a 'i don't hate jeff thweat' club.
north houston has a lot of open space, which was freaking me out. i kept thinking 'where is everything?'
we bought some sodas to stock the hotel fridge that were 14oz instead of the usual 12. those extra 2 oz really make a difference, just when you think you're done, there's that little bit left over. kinda like extra backwash, but with caffeine.
people were giving me grief on dealing with l.a. traffic, yet everyone from houston kept talking about how long the drives were to their workplaces.
i didn't realize how much i have grown accustomed to being on my own and not having to share a room with anyone. as much fun as it was hanging out with the compadres, it was really nice to have the hotel room to myself on sat night.
add another celebrity to my met list. i met al green, one of the best soul singers ever, at the san francisco airport on the way home on sunday.
i really should clean my room before i'm gone for a few days, because nothing is worse than coming home to a huge pile of laundry and not remembering if it's clean or not.
i don't like humidity.
not all texans act like they are.
well all in all it was a great weekend. it was awesome to catch up with some oc amigos, and i was glad to see kelso get hitched. i had a blast hanging out with everyone, and despite the fact that i maybe slept 6 hours total while i was gone, i feel pretty energized to start off our summer here in the ministry.
a-team quote of the day:
'i'm gonna make you fly... fist class foo!' -b.a. baracus
one love, one heart.
so my boy kelso finally got married this past weekend and i got to go out to houston to be a part of it which was a blast. def what i needed before summer hits here with the youth ministry. when i say finally got married, i mean that in a good way, it was one of those situations where you sometimes forget that the couple aren't already married. anyways, let's get some details here before i forget...
i got in thurs afternoon and hung out with the kelso fam for a while, and tried to adjust to 100 degrees and 90 percent humidity. seriously, if i were on of those guys in the alamo, i would have let santa ana have the whole state if it were around the middle of june. anyways, it was cool because i got to see a bunch of people that i hadn't really seen since graduation and i was pretty stoked to actually say that i have a full time job. thweat got in later that night and we hung out at kelso's apt waaaay too late, but it was cool because it was seriously like the college days, up talking about nothing with no regard for the clock. the next day we met up with eby for lunch and it was pretty much nonstop laughs from that point on. picking up tuxes was some comedy, gong to wal-mart was actually fun, those little things that can only be a blast when you are with a bunch of kf's.
oh yeah, can't forget about the prank call. one of mi compadres is a youth minister in okc, and he was driving down from dallas so we decided to give him some grief. i called as 'dan from the oklahoma city juvenile correctional facility', and went on to reel him in to believing that one of his kids was incarcerated and his only phone call was to his youth minister. come to find out the kid we knew actually did get in some trouble and our compadre was pretty worried. anyways, we had him going for about five minutes before i was about to lose it and we let him know what was going on. not to brag, but it was prob one of my best prank calls ever. it's good to know i still have the touch.
so back to actual wedding details...
the wedding itself was pretty cool, but it did have some memorable highlights. the wedding dress was evidently a bit too long because halfway down the aisle she had to pick it up if she was going to make it up the steps. one of the ringbearers decided to use his pillow to take a nap on the first row, which got a good laugh. also, it was blazing hot in our tuxes, and with a few hundred people in the building the ac wasn't exactly cutting it. i'm sweating bullets onstage, with one sliding down my cheek, to which i can see a lady in the audience point and mouth out 'oh how cute, he's crying.' the funniest though, was me waiting for a chance to wipe the sweat from my forehead, and trying to remember how long we had till the first prayer. i remember the second the minister started praying i wiped my forehead off and i heard the photographer take a picture. great, i just ruined a picture of the whole wedding party praying. come to find out, there were about eight others who did and were thinking the exact same thing. that's the wedding pix i want to see, all of us wiping off our heads. actually the pic i want to see is our 'draft day' pix. kelso got all of his groomsmen hats from their home town baseball team (fortunately he remembered i'm an angels fan) which is a great idea, and we took a pic together where it looks like we all got drafted. nice.
the reception was cool, we kinda hung out for a while, but the place was actually decorated really nicely, it looked like something straight out of a magazine. i kinda felt bad because we were all pretty tired from the previous nights, and didn't feel like mingling a whole lot, but i managed to meet a few southern accents, and visit some friends i hadn't seen in a while. sidenote: sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than it is to good friends that you haven't said a word to in years. esp when they're married. we took some pics of the oc crew and i def forgot my camera, so all of you guys that were there and claim to read my blog i'd love for you to email me some copies.
other random thoughts from this weekend:
i'm starting up a 'i don't hate jeff thweat' club.
north houston has a lot of open space, which was freaking me out. i kept thinking 'where is everything?'
we bought some sodas to stock the hotel fridge that were 14oz instead of the usual 12. those extra 2 oz really make a difference, just when you think you're done, there's that little bit left over. kinda like extra backwash, but with caffeine.
people were giving me grief on dealing with l.a. traffic, yet everyone from houston kept talking about how long the drives were to their workplaces.
i didn't realize how much i have grown accustomed to being on my own and not having to share a room with anyone. as much fun as it was hanging out with the compadres, it was really nice to have the hotel room to myself on sat night.
add another celebrity to my met list. i met al green, one of the best soul singers ever, at the san francisco airport on the way home on sunday.
i really should clean my room before i'm gone for a few days, because nothing is worse than coming home to a huge pile of laundry and not remembering if it's clean or not.
i don't like humidity.
not all texans act like they are.
well all in all it was a great weekend. it was awesome to catch up with some oc amigos, and i was glad to see kelso get hitched. i had a blast hanging out with everyone, and despite the fact that i maybe slept 6 hours total while i was gone, i feel pretty energized to start off our summer here in the ministry.
a-team quote of the day:
'i'm gonna make you fly... fist class foo!' -b.a. baracus
one love, one heart.
6.07.2005
peanut butter and jelly in one container and no clean up, does life get any better? i submit that it can not. -brian regan
just a few random thoughts on my mind...
my sister sent me a copy of 'captivating', the female counterpart to 'wild at heart'. yikes, i need to apologize to a lot of females that i know. actually, probably all of them.
i was in our apt complex office the other day to drop off our rent and complain about the fact that our ac hasn't been looked at since we put in a request a month ago. i walk into the office and there are two desks, one of which has a lady showing brochures to a potential renter. the other guy asks me what i need, and i mention that the cuz and i had forgot to pay our rent on the first and had the checks in hand (this was the 6/2). anyways, he gladly accepts the checks and in a voice clearly audible enough for the potential customer to hear, he informs me that we are fine paying on the second, and that we have three days to pay the rent. (something not made known to us when we first signed on, and has caused several stressed out times of trying to get the check in before the office closes. yes, we have paid our rent on time every month.) anyways, on to my second request. i mention that our ac was not working and i had put a request in several weeks ago for it to be fixed. he looks over at the potential customer then puts his hand on my shoulder and says, 'why don't we go talk about this in the front room?'. i tell him its not a big deal, i just want it fixed. he then asks me again to go to the front room, so i make the comment, 'it's okay. we can talk in front of [potential customer], just please get somebody to come and fix our ac. thanks.' nice try, but the guy checking out the apts is going to figure out the apts aren't exactly a sparkling piece of sunshine when he moves in, and i'm not going to go have some long drawn out conversation about it in the 'other room'.
so i took my computer in to the apple store last week to get the screen fixed. this is the one and only problem i've had with my computer so it's not really a big deal. anyways, i get to the store and i realize that the official job title for the guys that fix my computer is 'mac genius'. no joke, these guys have genius written on their business cards. now i love macs and all, and i consider myself somewhat of an elitist for owning one, but genius as a job description? if you were a genius you wouldn't be working at a store in the mall, and you could figure out that nobody wants to have to deal with pretentiousness when getting the computer fixed. anyways, i couldn't resist the urge to keep calling these guys by their job title, so phrases like, 'excuse me genius, could you print out my calendar?' and 'excuse me genius, how can i upgrade my warranty?' were used. the other customers chuckled, evidently they were making some observations about the job title before i got there.
ffwd to me at my fave hawaiian bbq spot down the street for lunch yesterday. i'm in there enough that i know most of the people that work there, including the girl that works the counter during the afternoons. nice girl, but totally lacking self confidence. from what i've gathered she used to party in high school and barely graduated. she couldn't afford a state school, and pretty much gave up, but is now trying to earn money for college. so i'm waiting for my order, and these guys that are ordering keep referring to her as 'register girl'. now i'm not the most keen of observers, but i thought that these guys were being incredibly condescending to her, and i looked over and the smile that she normally has to force out is completely gone, and her voice is barely audible when she gives them their receipt. i don't know where this came from, but i tapped the guy on the shoulder and said, 'her name is [enter her name here]'. it was amazing the look that came across both of their faces. her eyes were wide with shock, and this guy was pretty embarrassed realizing what a tool he had been. i'm not really writing this down to brag, but i think it's important that i make a point that: a. i'm not always a smart alec as i was in the above paragraphs and b. our speech can be so demeaning. this girl has been through so much, and has had to learn life lessons the hard way, and just when it looks like she has a glimmer of confidence this guy comes with his comment. so after he went to his seat i made sure that i told her that God has a specific purpose for her life, and she's much more than the girl that works the register, no matter what she's done in the past. she knows i work at the church, so i offered out an invite. i don't know if she'll ever show, but we'll see.
on a lighter note, i've decided to save up my money for a couple of things. mi hermana is doing a semester studying abroad at oxford next fall, and i got cleared to go visit her for thanksgiving. i'm stoked. not only will i get to hang out with my sister, but i get to travel overseas. so if anyone has ever been to england nows the time to start sending in your advice for stuff to see or do. my only idea so far is to see the original globe theater where shakespeare first premiered his works. my other savings goal is to redo my office. i know i've only been here for a few months, but i've got change my surroundings. my office has this nasty purple old lady carpet that drives my allergies nuts, so i'm going to put in some pergo flooring i think. anyways, i need cool ideas for stuff to put in my office. anything goes, just know that one whole wall in my office are shelves that can't be moved.
cool furniture here i come.
well, it's getting to be dinner time, and the fish tacos at rubios are calling my name.
one love, one heart.
my sister sent me a copy of 'captivating', the female counterpart to 'wild at heart'. yikes, i need to apologize to a lot of females that i know. actually, probably all of them.
i was in our apt complex office the other day to drop off our rent and complain about the fact that our ac hasn't been looked at since we put in a request a month ago. i walk into the office and there are two desks, one of which has a lady showing brochures to a potential renter. the other guy asks me what i need, and i mention that the cuz and i had forgot to pay our rent on the first and had the checks in hand (this was the 6/2). anyways, he gladly accepts the checks and in a voice clearly audible enough for the potential customer to hear, he informs me that we are fine paying on the second, and that we have three days to pay the rent. (something not made known to us when we first signed on, and has caused several stressed out times of trying to get the check in before the office closes. yes, we have paid our rent on time every month.) anyways, on to my second request. i mention that our ac was not working and i had put a request in several weeks ago for it to be fixed. he looks over at the potential customer then puts his hand on my shoulder and says, 'why don't we go talk about this in the front room?'. i tell him its not a big deal, i just want it fixed. he then asks me again to go to the front room, so i make the comment, 'it's okay. we can talk in front of [potential customer], just please get somebody to come and fix our ac. thanks.' nice try, but the guy checking out the apts is going to figure out the apts aren't exactly a sparkling piece of sunshine when he moves in, and i'm not going to go have some long drawn out conversation about it in the 'other room'.
so i took my computer in to the apple store last week to get the screen fixed. this is the one and only problem i've had with my computer so it's not really a big deal. anyways, i get to the store and i realize that the official job title for the guys that fix my computer is 'mac genius'. no joke, these guys have genius written on their business cards. now i love macs and all, and i consider myself somewhat of an elitist for owning one, but genius as a job description? if you were a genius you wouldn't be working at a store in the mall, and you could figure out that nobody wants to have to deal with pretentiousness when getting the computer fixed. anyways, i couldn't resist the urge to keep calling these guys by their job title, so phrases like, 'excuse me genius, could you print out my calendar?' and 'excuse me genius, how can i upgrade my warranty?' were used. the other customers chuckled, evidently they were making some observations about the job title before i got there.
ffwd to me at my fave hawaiian bbq spot down the street for lunch yesterday. i'm in there enough that i know most of the people that work there, including the girl that works the counter during the afternoons. nice girl, but totally lacking self confidence. from what i've gathered she used to party in high school and barely graduated. she couldn't afford a state school, and pretty much gave up, but is now trying to earn money for college. so i'm waiting for my order, and these guys that are ordering keep referring to her as 'register girl'. now i'm not the most keen of observers, but i thought that these guys were being incredibly condescending to her, and i looked over and the smile that she normally has to force out is completely gone, and her voice is barely audible when she gives them their receipt. i don't know where this came from, but i tapped the guy on the shoulder and said, 'her name is [enter her name here]'. it was amazing the look that came across both of their faces. her eyes were wide with shock, and this guy was pretty embarrassed realizing what a tool he had been. i'm not really writing this down to brag, but i think it's important that i make a point that: a. i'm not always a smart alec as i was in the above paragraphs and b. our speech can be so demeaning. this girl has been through so much, and has had to learn life lessons the hard way, and just when it looks like she has a glimmer of confidence this guy comes with his comment. so after he went to his seat i made sure that i told her that God has a specific purpose for her life, and she's much more than the girl that works the register, no matter what she's done in the past. she knows i work at the church, so i offered out an invite. i don't know if she'll ever show, but we'll see.
on a lighter note, i've decided to save up my money for a couple of things. mi hermana is doing a semester studying abroad at oxford next fall, and i got cleared to go visit her for thanksgiving. i'm stoked. not only will i get to hang out with my sister, but i get to travel overseas. so if anyone has ever been to england nows the time to start sending in your advice for stuff to see or do. my only idea so far is to see the original globe theater where shakespeare first premiered his works. my other savings goal is to redo my office. i know i've only been here for a few months, but i've got change my surroundings. my office has this nasty purple old lady carpet that drives my allergies nuts, so i'm going to put in some pergo flooring i think. anyways, i need cool ideas for stuff to put in my office. anything goes, just know that one whole wall in my office are shelves that can't be moved.
cool furniture here i come.
well, it's getting to be dinner time, and the fish tacos at rubios are calling my name.
one love, one heart.
6.02.2005
Go with God?.... I always travel first class. -H.M. Murdock
mmm.... free therapy...
i don't know what it is about blogging for me, but i love the release just sitting down to write brings.
today is weird though because i'm not on my computer, i'm using lawdog's laptop, because the mighty mac has been sent to the shop. actually, that would be the theme for the week. so my computer started acting all weird the other day, which is the first issue that i've had since i've owned it, so i had to take it in to the apple store. long story short, i should get it back in a week with all of my files and 9000 songs intact. its just frustrating when things don't simply work like they should. move onto the truck. it's time for an oil change, tire rotation and overall look under the hood just to make sure things are going as they should, and then this morning it took a while to start, and at some point i guess the battery wasn't working because my clock reset. neither one of these things are a huge deal, but the fact that they happen within days of each other just gets frustrating. add to that my paycheck was a week late and hasn't cleared yet with my bank and i'm starting to stress a little. needless to say i've been listening to marley all afternoon.
what else... i sealed the deal with dantheman the other day and i'm getting his snowboard, boots, bindings and bag with my birthday money. the rest i'm saving for my next couple of lift tix. (there mom, all of the money is going to snowboarding stuff) i'm pretty stoked though, because i already know how the stuff works, and that it all fits and i like the way the board rides. so anybody that is looking for a vacation out to cali come on out and lets go slide on some snow.
what else.. we're switching over our small groups study from a discussion group to a praise and worship time for the summer. so i get to try my hat on as a songleader. God's going to have to bless this cause there's no way it's going to be any good if' i'm the one in charge. yeah, keep me in your prayers. i've been practicing singing though the past few days. if you want a good laugh, sneak upstairs to my office and just listen for a while to me singing to myself.
i made it through the whole month of may w/o any soda which was quite the accomplishment. i had a soda yesterday for lunch and it really didn't taste all that great, so i think my plan to unnatach a pepsi can from my hand has worked. i'll prob still drink sodas every once in a while, but i can't see drinking as much as i was before. this whole challenge thing has been pretty cool though, the kiddos def got into it. we had kids giving up tv, video games, soda, junk food, chocolate, talking, sarcasm... and replacing it with prayer, compliments, hugs and who knows what else. of all the things we've talked about since i've been here the whole commitment thing has seen the biggest result. who'd of thought? anyways, i've got a challenge down for june, the cuz has come up with a workout for me to do every morning. more details on how that goes later. i really like this idea of challenging myself to something new every month. some of the thoughts for future months are; vegetariansim, hour of prayer every day, no tv, a book a week, who knows. feel free to respond with any ideas or suggestions. the crazier the better.
oh yeah, one of the kiddos and i came up with a great phrase the other day, 'bathroom clarity'. meaning that clarity and focus you get when you really have to go to the bathroom and there is nothing else that occupies your mind. there could be little green men coming out of the sky and you wouldn't even care because all you can think about is getting to the restroom. i think it's a great way to illustrate that idea, so we've introduced that as a term in our youth ministry.
either a lot of people are reading my bill, or i just tapped into something big with my whole california should be split into two states idea. i was at my fave hawaiian bbq place the other day and i heard some guys talking about how lame nocal is, and how it should be another state. hmmm... sounds familiar. one guy made the argument that if we split the state in two, neither one would be very big. i understand the concern, but if we're not the biggest state, or even the biggest in the continual 48, then its really not that big of a deal. i'm just tired of being from the same state as the oakland raiders.
what else... i rearranged my room and did some spring cleaning yesterday. i'm down to the last of my old kappa shirts, which is sorta bittersweet, but then i remember i haven't been in kappa for a while, and those shirts mostly have dates on them, which isn't good when its 05, and your shirt says 02. yeah, it was time for those to go.
oh yeah, i'm currently putting my 'before i turn 30' goals together. after the success of my 'before i turn 25' goals, i thought it would be fun to do it again. so far on my list i have:
visit my ancestors in norway
travel to at least three continents
learn to ride a motorcycle
perform an original song live
publish a book
show my artwork in a gallery
visit yankee stadium
grind a rail on my snowboard
hang ten
record an original cd
go to a red carpet event
i'm open for ideas and suggestions on this one too....
well, i'm onto other things. just wanted to say hey.
oh yeah, hannibal's words of wisdom has been changed to 'the A-team's words of wisdom'. either way, here you go. "My size? My size is the amount of space I fill up. Thanks for asking." - Murdock
i don't know what it is about blogging for me, but i love the release just sitting down to write brings.
today is weird though because i'm not on my computer, i'm using lawdog's laptop, because the mighty mac has been sent to the shop. actually, that would be the theme for the week. so my computer started acting all weird the other day, which is the first issue that i've had since i've owned it, so i had to take it in to the apple store. long story short, i should get it back in a week with all of my files and 9000 songs intact. its just frustrating when things don't simply work like they should. move onto the truck. it's time for an oil change, tire rotation and overall look under the hood just to make sure things are going as they should, and then this morning it took a while to start, and at some point i guess the battery wasn't working because my clock reset. neither one of these things are a huge deal, but the fact that they happen within days of each other just gets frustrating. add to that my paycheck was a week late and hasn't cleared yet with my bank and i'm starting to stress a little. needless to say i've been listening to marley all afternoon.
what else... i sealed the deal with dantheman the other day and i'm getting his snowboard, boots, bindings and bag with my birthday money. the rest i'm saving for my next couple of lift tix. (there mom, all of the money is going to snowboarding stuff) i'm pretty stoked though, because i already know how the stuff works, and that it all fits and i like the way the board rides. so anybody that is looking for a vacation out to cali come on out and lets go slide on some snow.
what else.. we're switching over our small groups study from a discussion group to a praise and worship time for the summer. so i get to try my hat on as a songleader. God's going to have to bless this cause there's no way it's going to be any good if' i'm the one in charge. yeah, keep me in your prayers. i've been practicing singing though the past few days. if you want a good laugh, sneak upstairs to my office and just listen for a while to me singing to myself.
i made it through the whole month of may w/o any soda which was quite the accomplishment. i had a soda yesterday for lunch and it really didn't taste all that great, so i think my plan to unnatach a pepsi can from my hand has worked. i'll prob still drink sodas every once in a while, but i can't see drinking as much as i was before. this whole challenge thing has been pretty cool though, the kiddos def got into it. we had kids giving up tv, video games, soda, junk food, chocolate, talking, sarcasm... and replacing it with prayer, compliments, hugs and who knows what else. of all the things we've talked about since i've been here the whole commitment thing has seen the biggest result. who'd of thought? anyways, i've got a challenge down for june, the cuz has come up with a workout for me to do every morning. more details on how that goes later. i really like this idea of challenging myself to something new every month. some of the thoughts for future months are; vegetariansim, hour of prayer every day, no tv, a book a week, who knows. feel free to respond with any ideas or suggestions. the crazier the better.
oh yeah, one of the kiddos and i came up with a great phrase the other day, 'bathroom clarity'. meaning that clarity and focus you get when you really have to go to the bathroom and there is nothing else that occupies your mind. there could be little green men coming out of the sky and you wouldn't even care because all you can think about is getting to the restroom. i think it's a great way to illustrate that idea, so we've introduced that as a term in our youth ministry.
either a lot of people are reading my bill, or i just tapped into something big with my whole california should be split into two states idea. i was at my fave hawaiian bbq place the other day and i heard some guys talking about how lame nocal is, and how it should be another state. hmmm... sounds familiar. one guy made the argument that if we split the state in two, neither one would be very big. i understand the concern, but if we're not the biggest state, or even the biggest in the continual 48, then its really not that big of a deal. i'm just tired of being from the same state as the oakland raiders.
what else... i rearranged my room and did some spring cleaning yesterday. i'm down to the last of my old kappa shirts, which is sorta bittersweet, but then i remember i haven't been in kappa for a while, and those shirts mostly have dates on them, which isn't good when its 05, and your shirt says 02. yeah, it was time for those to go.
oh yeah, i'm currently putting my 'before i turn 30' goals together. after the success of my 'before i turn 25' goals, i thought it would be fun to do it again. so far on my list i have:
visit my ancestors in norway
travel to at least three continents
learn to ride a motorcycle
perform an original song live
publish a book
show my artwork in a gallery
visit yankee stadium
grind a rail on my snowboard
hang ten
record an original cd
go to a red carpet event
i'm open for ideas and suggestions on this one too....
well, i'm onto other things. just wanted to say hey.
oh yeah, hannibal's words of wisdom has been changed to 'the A-team's words of wisdom'. either way, here you go. "My size? My size is the amount of space I fill up. Thanks for asking." - Murdock
5.27.2005
Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?
yet another crazy few days in the life of a youth minister...
oh man, there's nothing like taking a deep breath, and hearing nothing but the sound of the boat running through the water as you inhale a couple of gallons of lake water. so me and about fifteen other youth ministers had our tri-annual youth minister's retreat this past mon-tues. what an awesome time. there were a few guys from the inland empire there that we hadn't met before, so it was cool to grow our group of guys out a little bit. as you can probably imagine, the festivities took second place to the fellowship. there's something about youth ministers getting together that just begs for some good jokes. i'd try to write out some jokes form this weekend, but they pretty much all fall into the 'you had to be there category'. just know that we have no clue what we are doing when it comes to making and maintaining a campfire of reasonable proportions, wakeboarding, driving a boat, or keeping critters out of the food. oh yeah, and one guy locked his keys in his car. that part was funny because he made the comment, 'i don't know if any of you have had to think this before, but i really don't want to break this window, because it would cost more to replace the window than what i paid for the car'. been there bro, when i say i know how you feel, i know how you feel. i was pretty stoked to be the guy that finally picked his lock, kind of a pay it forward moment. what else happened... we laughed, we burned things, we did our venting, shared some stories about kids, talked about who we knew in college, shared dorm/club stories, talked about our events, threw in some philosophical debates in for good measure, and topped that off with denomination talk. pretty typical and expected, but always fun. add the inner tubing and wakebaording in the mix and we had ourselves a great time, minus a couple of bloody noses and an unfortunate wave hopping incident that involved me racking myself on the boat. ouch to say the least. i'm gonna try and see a doctor tomorrow if the swelling doesn't go down. other than that, the retreat was a blast. we had our own spot on the lake that was pretty isolated, and a cove for some smooth water for tubing, and we didn't have to go back to the campground until dinner both nights. we took turns cooking and cleaning, telling jokes, manning the fire... good times. i love hanging around the socal youth ministry crew. we get along really well for the most part. there's a couple of guys that refuse to come out of their shells, but that doesn't really last long when we get to telling stories. it's cool too, becuase we are all about the same age, and have pretty much the same interests, and a good majority of us got hired around the same time, so we're going through a lot of the same stuff.
stuff in the ministry is starting to step up to another level as well. more kids are coming to me with things that are pretty serious and personal, which as tough as that can be to handle, also brings about a peace of knowing that God must be in control, because i don't have a clue if i'm doing or saying the right thing. that's something we talked about on our retreat, getting a sense of wether or not what we talk to our kids about is right, and how God can use us as His tools verses the other way around. there's a satisfaction in knowing that you haven't helped a kid out, but God has helped a kid out by using you.
what else... my birthday present finally got here last friday, which was amazing considering how inept our local post office is (see 3/15 post). anyways, my present was pretty cool. mi madre and mi hermana sent a bunch of books, (including 'captivating' the female version of wild at heart, a must read) and season two of the a-team and dukes of hazzard. and then there was a check for me to buy a snowboard and some bindings and boots. to borrow a quote from hannibal, 'nice b.a., nice'. so i'm either gonna buy dantheman's other snowboard and stuff that i learned on, or i may check out some deals at the local sports chalet. we'll see. free time is growing increasingly smaller as of late. all in all though, it was a pretty mellow birthday. a couple of the kiddos brought in birthday cakes to our thurs night roots group, which was funny because half of the kids couldn't eat any cake, do to one of our previous roots. we had a talk about commitment a few weeks ago, where i challenged the kiddos to commit to giving something up for a time, which prompted a whole group of girls to give up chocolate and junk food, hence no cake. anyways, there were a whole bunch of leftovers that i had to give away, because the cuz and i are have neither one gone to the grocery store in weeks, and we'd prob have nothing but cake for dinner if that's all that's in the fridge.
oh yeah, and i got some passes to see star wars. i could go on for a while on how much i love star wars, but i'll spare the details. just know i own no costume of any star wars character. anyways, it was a great movie and i plan on seeing it a bunch more, but it comes with a bittersweet feeling. all of my life i've been a star wars fan. one of my first memories was when i was three i went to see return of the jedi and i remember seeing ewoks on speeders... yeah, i've been hooked ever since, and now the story is complete. as cool as it was to see the story tied together, it's weird knowing there won't be anymore star wars coming out. lame.
on to less nerdy things... i finally took some time to record a bunch of my songs onto garageband, and will hopefully have an instrumental cd finished before too long. i've got a lot of mastering to do, but i'm pretty stoked at how well most of the tracks sound so far w/o vocals. i'm not sure what i'm going to do lyrically, but we'll see. at the very least i'm stoked that my kiddos like most of my stuff, and even the cuz gave a few compliments on a track he heard. i even like it. it's a good cross between rock and reggae so, in honor of my cd that hopefully will be finished soon, here's a top ten list of potential album titles for my cd:
10. quiktunes
9. l.a. calling
8. dude: the soundtrack
7. greatest hits: vol 2
6. semi dub experiment
5. dubya
4. spare change
3. soundtrack to 5
2. put me on trl and i'll say woooo!
1. garagsta
in other news, we've had a couple of losses in our church family that has me looking at how blessed i am. it makes such a difference to know that the person you've lost knew you loved them. i didn't really know either person too well, but i know their family, and it is so obvious the difference having faith makes in dealing with sorrow. so many other families i've known have blamed God, and asked for the person back, and it just seems so selfish to me. when i'm gone i don't want anyone praying to get me back, i'm going to be in a much better place. how selfish we are to assume that life here is better. also, the anger that so many people have regarding death is so misguided, many times we are only angry because we didn't take the opportunities we had to let that person know how we felt. i tell my kiddos all the time that christianity boils down to not being about yourself, and making sure that God and others are the priority. there's a time for everything, so embrace sadness, but letting that turn to anger is dangerous. anyways, i'm blessed to be around people who have it together.
in less important news... i'm almost done with my month w/o soda, and i can already tell a difference. i go to bed earlier and sleep much more soundly. i have quite a bit more energy and i've probably saved at least thirty bucks so far this month. i might stretch this thing out a bit more. i'm thinking of my next monthly challenge... perhaps being a vegetarian, or maybe something more spiritual like an hour of prayer each day. hmmm the possibilities....
well before i head out, me and the cuz decided to start keeping track of 'hannibal's words of wisdom' from the a-team dvds. so here's your wisdom for the day,
'When you pay peanuts lady, you hire a bunch of monkeys.'
one love, one heart
oh man, there's nothing like taking a deep breath, and hearing nothing but the sound of the boat running through the water as you inhale a couple of gallons of lake water. so me and about fifteen other youth ministers had our tri-annual youth minister's retreat this past mon-tues. what an awesome time. there were a few guys from the inland empire there that we hadn't met before, so it was cool to grow our group of guys out a little bit. as you can probably imagine, the festivities took second place to the fellowship. there's something about youth ministers getting together that just begs for some good jokes. i'd try to write out some jokes form this weekend, but they pretty much all fall into the 'you had to be there category'. just know that we have no clue what we are doing when it comes to making and maintaining a campfire of reasonable proportions, wakeboarding, driving a boat, or keeping critters out of the food. oh yeah, and one guy locked his keys in his car. that part was funny because he made the comment, 'i don't know if any of you have had to think this before, but i really don't want to break this window, because it would cost more to replace the window than what i paid for the car'. been there bro, when i say i know how you feel, i know how you feel. i was pretty stoked to be the guy that finally picked his lock, kind of a pay it forward moment. what else happened... we laughed, we burned things, we did our venting, shared some stories about kids, talked about who we knew in college, shared dorm/club stories, talked about our events, threw in some philosophical debates in for good measure, and topped that off with denomination talk. pretty typical and expected, but always fun. add the inner tubing and wakebaording in the mix and we had ourselves a great time, minus a couple of bloody noses and an unfortunate wave hopping incident that involved me racking myself on the boat. ouch to say the least. i'm gonna try and see a doctor tomorrow if the swelling doesn't go down. other than that, the retreat was a blast. we had our own spot on the lake that was pretty isolated, and a cove for some smooth water for tubing, and we didn't have to go back to the campground until dinner both nights. we took turns cooking and cleaning, telling jokes, manning the fire... good times. i love hanging around the socal youth ministry crew. we get along really well for the most part. there's a couple of guys that refuse to come out of their shells, but that doesn't really last long when we get to telling stories. it's cool too, becuase we are all about the same age, and have pretty much the same interests, and a good majority of us got hired around the same time, so we're going through a lot of the same stuff.
stuff in the ministry is starting to step up to another level as well. more kids are coming to me with things that are pretty serious and personal, which as tough as that can be to handle, also brings about a peace of knowing that God must be in control, because i don't have a clue if i'm doing or saying the right thing. that's something we talked about on our retreat, getting a sense of wether or not what we talk to our kids about is right, and how God can use us as His tools verses the other way around. there's a satisfaction in knowing that you haven't helped a kid out, but God has helped a kid out by using you.
what else... my birthday present finally got here last friday, which was amazing considering how inept our local post office is (see 3/15 post). anyways, my present was pretty cool. mi madre and mi hermana sent a bunch of books, (including 'captivating' the female version of wild at heart, a must read) and season two of the a-team and dukes of hazzard. and then there was a check for me to buy a snowboard and some bindings and boots. to borrow a quote from hannibal, 'nice b.a., nice'. so i'm either gonna buy dantheman's other snowboard and stuff that i learned on, or i may check out some deals at the local sports chalet. we'll see. free time is growing increasingly smaller as of late. all in all though, it was a pretty mellow birthday. a couple of the kiddos brought in birthday cakes to our thurs night roots group, which was funny because half of the kids couldn't eat any cake, do to one of our previous roots. we had a talk about commitment a few weeks ago, where i challenged the kiddos to commit to giving something up for a time, which prompted a whole group of girls to give up chocolate and junk food, hence no cake. anyways, there were a whole bunch of leftovers that i had to give away, because the cuz and i are have neither one gone to the grocery store in weeks, and we'd prob have nothing but cake for dinner if that's all that's in the fridge.
oh yeah, and i got some passes to see star wars. i could go on for a while on how much i love star wars, but i'll spare the details. just know i own no costume of any star wars character. anyways, it was a great movie and i plan on seeing it a bunch more, but it comes with a bittersweet feeling. all of my life i've been a star wars fan. one of my first memories was when i was three i went to see return of the jedi and i remember seeing ewoks on speeders... yeah, i've been hooked ever since, and now the story is complete. as cool as it was to see the story tied together, it's weird knowing there won't be anymore star wars coming out. lame.
on to less nerdy things... i finally took some time to record a bunch of my songs onto garageband, and will hopefully have an instrumental cd finished before too long. i've got a lot of mastering to do, but i'm pretty stoked at how well most of the tracks sound so far w/o vocals. i'm not sure what i'm going to do lyrically, but we'll see. at the very least i'm stoked that my kiddos like most of my stuff, and even the cuz gave a few compliments on a track he heard. i even like it. it's a good cross between rock and reggae so, in honor of my cd that hopefully will be finished soon, here's a top ten list of potential album titles for my cd:
10. quiktunes
9. l.a. calling
8. dude: the soundtrack
7. greatest hits: vol 2
6. semi dub experiment
5. dubya
4. spare change
3. soundtrack to 5
2. put me on trl and i'll say woooo!
1. garagsta
in other news, we've had a couple of losses in our church family that has me looking at how blessed i am. it makes such a difference to know that the person you've lost knew you loved them. i didn't really know either person too well, but i know their family, and it is so obvious the difference having faith makes in dealing with sorrow. so many other families i've known have blamed God, and asked for the person back, and it just seems so selfish to me. when i'm gone i don't want anyone praying to get me back, i'm going to be in a much better place. how selfish we are to assume that life here is better. also, the anger that so many people have regarding death is so misguided, many times we are only angry because we didn't take the opportunities we had to let that person know how we felt. i tell my kiddos all the time that christianity boils down to not being about yourself, and making sure that God and others are the priority. there's a time for everything, so embrace sadness, but letting that turn to anger is dangerous. anyways, i'm blessed to be around people who have it together.
in less important news... i'm almost done with my month w/o soda, and i can already tell a difference. i go to bed earlier and sleep much more soundly. i have quite a bit more energy and i've probably saved at least thirty bucks so far this month. i might stretch this thing out a bit more. i'm thinking of my next monthly challenge... perhaps being a vegetarian, or maybe something more spiritual like an hour of prayer each day. hmmm the possibilities....
well before i head out, me and the cuz decided to start keeping track of 'hannibal's words of wisdom' from the a-team dvds. so here's your wisdom for the day,
'When you pay peanuts lady, you hire a bunch of monkeys.'
one love, one heart
5.15.2005
quick to the point, to the point no fakin, cookin mc's like a pound of bacon...
yet another great weekend...
so we just got back from springfest in bakersfield, and there are so many things that i don't want to forget from this weekend.
this morning as part of our service we watched a couple scenes from the passion. i say we watched it, i could barely keep my eyes on the screen. i was sitting next to mitch wilburn (who i was with the first time i saw it) and we were both having the same reactions. any other movie and i'd laugh, but the passion actually makes me sick to my stomach. every time i see it i pick up on new emotions and things that i've missed before. today, the scene that got me the most was the thief asking Jesus to remember him. sounds so simple, but when i see a man with no where left to go look into the bloody face of a bruised Jesus it throws me into a different perspective. i grew up with the felt board pictures of Jesus, with a nice clean robe and a huge smile on his face, and as much as that was a part of his life, i rarely find myself with a picture of Jesus bruised, blood, crying in pain, not able to stand, with nails through his arms. tough to think about, even tougher to watch. i'm not sure how the kiddos took it, but i'm grateful for the fact that they now have an image in their heads that hopefully can't be ignored.
this movie is also tough, because it reminds me of how blessed i am, and how little of what i have, i have earned. i work at a church that is truly blessed with some of the most caring teens i have ever been around. weird, goofy, and so full of life, my youth group has so much personality, i forget how blessed i am to say i work for them. i'm also blessed with some great friends and role models. my brother in ministry noodles was there from s.d., which is always a blessing, he's just one of those guys that makes you feel better just being around him. most of my friends i give a little bit of good natured ribbing, but noodles is one of those guys that hasn't said a mean thing about a person in years, and there's nothing really to give him grief about. he works as a part time youth minister in s.d., has for several years w/o the church stepping up to make him a full time offer. it's a shame. if socal loses him as a youth minister we're going to be hurting. anyways, we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time hanging out (something about keeping an eye on our groups... what's that about?) but the few minutes we could chill helped make the weekend a good one.
throw in person number two, one of my amigos from oc was there recruiting this weekend, and we got to chill just enough to bring back some good memories from the college days. we didn't hang out a whole lot until my last couple of years, but we def have a good laugh when we hang out, and it was good to see a face from oc. he came up and talked to my kiddos about going to a christian college, and validated a lot of stories that i tell the kiddos about college life. it makes coming home and seeing a few posts from old college friends all the sweeter.
lastly, i got to hang out with mitch wilburn, one of my favorite people of all time. as much as my old youth minister influenced me to become a youth minister, mitch helped me be comfortable in being myself as a minister. always one to come with a kind word, a nod of affirmation, or encouragement to pull of some crazy idea, getting to see mitch was a def highlight for me. and on a deeper level, mitch's encouragements have an extra sense of value these days. i know my dad is proud of me, and he can't say it anymore physically, so hearing mitch say, 'i'm proud of who you've become' takes on an extra special meaning for me. def makes for a good weekend.
as far as the kiddos go, i think we're starting to turn some corners and really get deeper into examining our relationship with God. the youth rally was good, and there's always room for improvement, but i can def see places where God can use us in his work. we have yet one more adventure to add to the bonding experience, and i think with summer coming up shortly we're gonna be on fire here pretty soon. hopefully. part of me wants a youth group to explode in numbers, and part of me wants to keep the status quo where i know every kid like a brother or sister. we'll let God take the reigns though, he's a lot smarter than i am, and he's been doing this a lot longer. anyways the kiddos were great, and i am starting to see so much potential sprouting in them. man, i can't wait to see where this group is five years from now.
other memorable moments from this weekend...
making a u-turn everywhere we went in bakersfield because i can't read a map and listen to the kiddos at the same time
being pulled on stage to rap during a comedy skit, and pulling out the vanilla ice because that's the first rap song i could think of that i knew the words, and then realizing not a kid in the audience knew what song i was rapping.
getting a hug from one of my kiddos that said they just needed 'a d.j. hug'
watching one of my chaperons lose it during the passion.
watching one of my kiddos take our lawn ornament santa and walk up to girls and ask them if they'd like to give santa a kiss.
the sound of silence when all of the kiddos have finally been picked up, and its just me at the church.
well, i've got an elders meeting to attend. talk to you guys soon, thanks for listening.
one love, one heart.
d.j.
so we just got back from springfest in bakersfield, and there are so many things that i don't want to forget from this weekend.
this morning as part of our service we watched a couple scenes from the passion. i say we watched it, i could barely keep my eyes on the screen. i was sitting next to mitch wilburn (who i was with the first time i saw it) and we were both having the same reactions. any other movie and i'd laugh, but the passion actually makes me sick to my stomach. every time i see it i pick up on new emotions and things that i've missed before. today, the scene that got me the most was the thief asking Jesus to remember him. sounds so simple, but when i see a man with no where left to go look into the bloody face of a bruised Jesus it throws me into a different perspective. i grew up with the felt board pictures of Jesus, with a nice clean robe and a huge smile on his face, and as much as that was a part of his life, i rarely find myself with a picture of Jesus bruised, blood, crying in pain, not able to stand, with nails through his arms. tough to think about, even tougher to watch. i'm not sure how the kiddos took it, but i'm grateful for the fact that they now have an image in their heads that hopefully can't be ignored.
this movie is also tough, because it reminds me of how blessed i am, and how little of what i have, i have earned. i work at a church that is truly blessed with some of the most caring teens i have ever been around. weird, goofy, and so full of life, my youth group has so much personality, i forget how blessed i am to say i work for them. i'm also blessed with some great friends and role models. my brother in ministry noodles was there from s.d., which is always a blessing, he's just one of those guys that makes you feel better just being around him. most of my friends i give a little bit of good natured ribbing, but noodles is one of those guys that hasn't said a mean thing about a person in years, and there's nothing really to give him grief about. he works as a part time youth minister in s.d., has for several years w/o the church stepping up to make him a full time offer. it's a shame. if socal loses him as a youth minister we're going to be hurting. anyways, we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time hanging out (something about keeping an eye on our groups... what's that about?) but the few minutes we could chill helped make the weekend a good one.
throw in person number two, one of my amigos from oc was there recruiting this weekend, and we got to chill just enough to bring back some good memories from the college days. we didn't hang out a whole lot until my last couple of years, but we def have a good laugh when we hang out, and it was good to see a face from oc. he came up and talked to my kiddos about going to a christian college, and validated a lot of stories that i tell the kiddos about college life. it makes coming home and seeing a few posts from old college friends all the sweeter.
lastly, i got to hang out with mitch wilburn, one of my favorite people of all time. as much as my old youth minister influenced me to become a youth minister, mitch helped me be comfortable in being myself as a minister. always one to come with a kind word, a nod of affirmation, or encouragement to pull of some crazy idea, getting to see mitch was a def highlight for me. and on a deeper level, mitch's encouragements have an extra sense of value these days. i know my dad is proud of me, and he can't say it anymore physically, so hearing mitch say, 'i'm proud of who you've become' takes on an extra special meaning for me. def makes for a good weekend.
as far as the kiddos go, i think we're starting to turn some corners and really get deeper into examining our relationship with God. the youth rally was good, and there's always room for improvement, but i can def see places where God can use us in his work. we have yet one more adventure to add to the bonding experience, and i think with summer coming up shortly we're gonna be on fire here pretty soon. hopefully. part of me wants a youth group to explode in numbers, and part of me wants to keep the status quo where i know every kid like a brother or sister. we'll let God take the reigns though, he's a lot smarter than i am, and he's been doing this a lot longer. anyways the kiddos were great, and i am starting to see so much potential sprouting in them. man, i can't wait to see where this group is five years from now.
other memorable moments from this weekend...
making a u-turn everywhere we went in bakersfield because i can't read a map and listen to the kiddos at the same time
being pulled on stage to rap during a comedy skit, and pulling out the vanilla ice because that's the first rap song i could think of that i knew the words, and then realizing not a kid in the audience knew what song i was rapping.
getting a hug from one of my kiddos that said they just needed 'a d.j. hug'
watching one of my chaperons lose it during the passion.
watching one of my kiddos take our lawn ornament santa and walk up to girls and ask them if they'd like to give santa a kiss.
the sound of silence when all of the kiddos have finally been picked up, and its just me at the church.
well, i've got an elders meeting to attend. talk to you guys soon, thanks for listening.
one love, one heart.
d.j.
5.09.2005
There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi? - The Cable Guy
i appreciate all of the phone calls after last weeks blog. yes, i'm fine, yes i was venting, and no i'm not going to write an emo song about last monday.
i feel some top ten lists coming on:
top ten things i remember from the pepperdine lectureships last week:
10. seeing people from san diego, simi valley, seattle, oc, okc, tulsa and kentucky all in one place
9. my toughest decision one day was wether to go to neptune's net, malibu seafood, or paradise cove to eat. (all three are overlooking or on the beach)
8. pretending to know the names of people that knew me somehow
7. trying to remember why i went to oc instead of peperdine
6. remembering how much it costs to go to pepperdine
5. psallo turning an hour of praise into revival time
4. getting random people to come up to my old youth minister and talk to him about how much they were excited about his new program at cascade college
3. hearing billy wilson, jeff walling, and randy harris in one day
2. getting the chance to be that guy that takes broke college kids out to lunch after being on the other end for so long
1. my sides being sore on saturday from laughing all week
top ten guess-you-had-to-be-there lines from last week:
10. 'my head is sticking out of the sunroof'
9. 'i'll wait here while you hike up the hill to get the car'
8. 'i know this sounds stupid, but i read your blog'
7. 'you wouldn't believe all of the people coming up to me asking about my work at cascade, its really amazing'
6. 'i'm doing nothing now. no really, i filed for unemployment yesterday. i'm going to see how long i can go without a job.'
5. 'does he know his name is bert reynolds?'
4. 'manuel?'
3. 'oh man, you gotta hear this'
2. 'so i'm in the dr.'s office in my boxers, and the dr. has all of these students around me with their stethoscopes listening to my heart, and then he makes me crouch and jump up with the students doing the same, it was kinda weird'
1. 'this is a man who, like a good carpenter, built a throne out of two used pieces of wood'
what a great week to follow up a lame day. last tuesday i got a call from a kid outside of the church that asked me to bring them a bible in the hospital. it's nice to be making inroads to simi like that, and to see right off the bat the impact you can make on someone just by showing up. the pepperdine lectureships started that night and it was awesome to see all of these people from everywhere i've ever lived in one place. i stood by the fountain for almost two hours one night and didn't talk to the same person for more than ten minutes the whole time. there were a lot of my parents' friends from san diego there, kids from my old youth group that are at pepperdine, other youth ministers, professors, fellow oc alumni and just random people i hadn't seen in a while. as much as the lectureships are built up as a learning time i have to say i got much more out of the fellowship with old friends and familiar faces.
and so it goes...
so now its back to the grindstone, planning events, trying to read and study up for classes, dealing with parents... getting some graphics done for t-shirts and stuff and trying to sneak in some fun stuff there as well. prob doesn't sound like a whole lot, but i'm on a tear lately of wanting stuff done well, which means everything gets a lot of attention, which means i dont have a lot of attention left for myself, which i guess is a good thing as of late. maybe.
that, and i'm turning 25 next week and that's starting to get to me a little. not in a bad way, because i've got so much more accomplished by 25 than i thought i would, but it's those few things that i haven't been able to do that has been nagging at me.
oh yeah, and i was challenged to not drink sodas for a month so i'm in a weird mood. i didn't realize how bad sodas affected me, but i've had a constant headache for a week now, and i feel sleepy all of the time too. i've caught myself a couple of times ordering sodas out of habit, and have been fortunate enough to catch myself before it was too late. i'm not really craving soda, its just that nothing else really sounds good to drink with a hot dog at a baseball game. pink lemonade? seriously, i'm at angels stadium yesterday downing a couple of hotdogs with a pink lemonade of all things... i couldn't even bring myself to buy bottled water there... what am i supposed to do? ugh. i think the quote of the week is 'no soda is lame'. i know the cuz has had to hear it a few times already. i should prob warn him next time i feel like giving up something.
what else... going back to birthday issues, i'm not sure exactly what i'm going to do for my birthday. star wars is coming out the day after my birthday so i was thinking it would be cool to go to hollywood on opening night to see the midnight chow at the chinese theater, but guys have been camping out for 8 weeks fro tix there, and i can't find my jedi outfit, so i wouldn't fit in. so that leads me with zero ideas for what to do for my birthday. its in the middle of the week and i have youth events on the weekends before and after, so i guess my options are somewhat limited. we'll see.
going back to baseball... the cuz and i decided that since our mothers had raised us to love baseball, what better thing to do to honor mother's day than go to a baseball game (i had already sent a card and got her season one of her favorite show). so we drove down to anaheim to watch the angels game and and a blast. there were a couple of padres fans there, and this guy in front of us kept talking about how lame northern california is, how they should be their own state, and raiders fans are a plague to the sporting society. the great thing about this was that he kept saying things that i tell the cuz all the time, giving a lot of validity to my rants. so now the cuz is convinced i actually know what i'm talking about when i say we should split the state at santa barbara county, and everything north should be southern oregon. i have to say i was impressed by angel stadium. the fans were some of the best i've ever been around. they were mellow because the team was getting stomped, but they were still cheering for their team for the little things. and i saw more red there than i did blue at the dodger game, which was a real trip. the cuz and i have discussed this before, and the matter was settled for me yesterday afternoon: the angels are our home team, and we are officially going to be angels fans. here's our rationale behind our being angels fans:
10. you should always have a home team to root for
9. we hate the dodgers
8. we still refer to the angels as the 'california angels', which means they represent the state (all the way up to santa barbara county) or
7. the los angeles angels of anaheim refers to them as the team from the los angeles 'area', which would include us, since we are not actually in l.a. county, but next to it.
6. vlad guerrero
5. at the games the ushers throw out free peanuts during take me out to the ballgame
4. the cuz has an issue with rooting for more than one national league team, and pulling for the angels would not interfere with his being an astros fan. (i grew up rooting for the padres and the astros, so i do not consider having more than one team an issue, and i'm not going to stop being a yankees fan just because they can't win a game this year)
3. (tie) i like their old hats/ parking is cheaper at anaheim stadium, and the traffic problem doesn't even begin to touch dodger stadium
2. my job gives me a certain leaning towards rooting for teams with biblical themes i.e. padres and angels
1. we really hate the dodgers
well, its a pretty decent afternoon, so i think i'm going to take some down time here and go do something outside.
one love, one heart.
i feel some top ten lists coming on:
top ten things i remember from the pepperdine lectureships last week:
10. seeing people from san diego, simi valley, seattle, oc, okc, tulsa and kentucky all in one place
9. my toughest decision one day was wether to go to neptune's net, malibu seafood, or paradise cove to eat. (all three are overlooking or on the beach)
8. pretending to know the names of people that knew me somehow
7. trying to remember why i went to oc instead of peperdine
6. remembering how much it costs to go to pepperdine
5. psallo turning an hour of praise into revival time
4. getting random people to come up to my old youth minister and talk to him about how much they were excited about his new program at cascade college
3. hearing billy wilson, jeff walling, and randy harris in one day
2. getting the chance to be that guy that takes broke college kids out to lunch after being on the other end for so long
1. my sides being sore on saturday from laughing all week
top ten guess-you-had-to-be-there lines from last week:
10. 'my head is sticking out of the sunroof'
9. 'i'll wait here while you hike up the hill to get the car'
8. 'i know this sounds stupid, but i read your blog'
7. 'you wouldn't believe all of the people coming up to me asking about my work at cascade, its really amazing'
6. 'i'm doing nothing now. no really, i filed for unemployment yesterday. i'm going to see how long i can go without a job.'
5. 'does he know his name is bert reynolds?'
4. 'manuel?'
3. 'oh man, you gotta hear this'
2. 'so i'm in the dr.'s office in my boxers, and the dr. has all of these students around me with their stethoscopes listening to my heart, and then he makes me crouch and jump up with the students doing the same, it was kinda weird'
1. 'this is a man who, like a good carpenter, built a throne out of two used pieces of wood'
what a great week to follow up a lame day. last tuesday i got a call from a kid outside of the church that asked me to bring them a bible in the hospital. it's nice to be making inroads to simi like that, and to see right off the bat the impact you can make on someone just by showing up. the pepperdine lectureships started that night and it was awesome to see all of these people from everywhere i've ever lived in one place. i stood by the fountain for almost two hours one night and didn't talk to the same person for more than ten minutes the whole time. there were a lot of my parents' friends from san diego there, kids from my old youth group that are at pepperdine, other youth ministers, professors, fellow oc alumni and just random people i hadn't seen in a while. as much as the lectureships are built up as a learning time i have to say i got much more out of the fellowship with old friends and familiar faces.
and so it goes...
so now its back to the grindstone, planning events, trying to read and study up for classes, dealing with parents... getting some graphics done for t-shirts and stuff and trying to sneak in some fun stuff there as well. prob doesn't sound like a whole lot, but i'm on a tear lately of wanting stuff done well, which means everything gets a lot of attention, which means i dont have a lot of attention left for myself, which i guess is a good thing as of late. maybe.
that, and i'm turning 25 next week and that's starting to get to me a little. not in a bad way, because i've got so much more accomplished by 25 than i thought i would, but it's those few things that i haven't been able to do that has been nagging at me.
oh yeah, and i was challenged to not drink sodas for a month so i'm in a weird mood. i didn't realize how bad sodas affected me, but i've had a constant headache for a week now, and i feel sleepy all of the time too. i've caught myself a couple of times ordering sodas out of habit, and have been fortunate enough to catch myself before it was too late. i'm not really craving soda, its just that nothing else really sounds good to drink with a hot dog at a baseball game. pink lemonade? seriously, i'm at angels stadium yesterday downing a couple of hotdogs with a pink lemonade of all things... i couldn't even bring myself to buy bottled water there... what am i supposed to do? ugh. i think the quote of the week is 'no soda is lame'. i know the cuz has had to hear it a few times already. i should prob warn him next time i feel like giving up something.
what else... going back to birthday issues, i'm not sure exactly what i'm going to do for my birthday. star wars is coming out the day after my birthday so i was thinking it would be cool to go to hollywood on opening night to see the midnight chow at the chinese theater, but guys have been camping out for 8 weeks fro tix there, and i can't find my jedi outfit, so i wouldn't fit in. so that leads me with zero ideas for what to do for my birthday. its in the middle of the week and i have youth events on the weekends before and after, so i guess my options are somewhat limited. we'll see.
going back to baseball... the cuz and i decided that since our mothers had raised us to love baseball, what better thing to do to honor mother's day than go to a baseball game (i had already sent a card and got her season one of her favorite show). so we drove down to anaheim to watch the angels game and and a blast. there were a couple of padres fans there, and this guy in front of us kept talking about how lame northern california is, how they should be their own state, and raiders fans are a plague to the sporting society. the great thing about this was that he kept saying things that i tell the cuz all the time, giving a lot of validity to my rants. so now the cuz is convinced i actually know what i'm talking about when i say we should split the state at santa barbara county, and everything north should be southern oregon. i have to say i was impressed by angel stadium. the fans were some of the best i've ever been around. they were mellow because the team was getting stomped, but they were still cheering for their team for the little things. and i saw more red there than i did blue at the dodger game, which was a real trip. the cuz and i have discussed this before, and the matter was settled for me yesterday afternoon: the angels are our home team, and we are officially going to be angels fans. here's our rationale behind our being angels fans:
10. you should always have a home team to root for
9. we hate the dodgers
8. we still refer to the angels as the 'california angels', which means they represent the state (all the way up to santa barbara county) or
7. the los angeles angels of anaheim refers to them as the team from the los angeles 'area', which would include us, since we are not actually in l.a. county, but next to it.
6. vlad guerrero
5. at the games the ushers throw out free peanuts during take me out to the ballgame
4. the cuz has an issue with rooting for more than one national league team, and pulling for the angels would not interfere with his being an astros fan. (i grew up rooting for the padres and the astros, so i do not consider having more than one team an issue, and i'm not going to stop being a yankees fan just because they can't win a game this year)
3. (tie) i like their old hats/ parking is cheaper at anaheim stadium, and the traffic problem doesn't even begin to touch dodger stadium
2. my job gives me a certain leaning towards rooting for teams with biblical themes i.e. padres and angels
1. we really hate the dodgers
well, its a pretty decent afternoon, so i think i'm going to take some down time here and go do something outside.
one love, one heart.
5.03.2005
Tyler Durden: Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you...?
today is one of those days i write because ... to be honest i'm not sure. more than anything i need to vent i guess...
i went down to san diego on sunday afternoon to go visit topgungirl and dantheman. i'll start off with the fun stuff i guess... i got to hang out with dantheman pretty much all day yesterday which always makes for a chill day. nothing special, we lazed around the apt till 11 or so, wandered over to the movie theatre to see if there were any movies that we could catch. not happening so we went and blew a few bucks at his fave store (ross) and mine (best buy) and went back and watched die hard and jammed on guitars all afternoon. probably doesn't sound like much but its days like those that i love the most. nothing pressing to do, cracking up, telling stories, coming up with ideas on how we can change the world... the usual.
then comes last night. you know things are off to a bad start when you're in the living room of a girls house, she's coming down the stairs, and a family friend asks her as she's coming down the stairs, 'so who's this guy you've been bringing to church?' and you're not that guy. i should have bailed right then. but, being the idiot that i am i decided to stick it out, i mean, i came down from simi to see her, i'm not exactly going to give up that easy, at the very least i should see what's going on. mistake number two. flashback to my last semester of college and sr. philosophy, we' re debating 'gimpel the fool', where gimpel is referred to as the town fool because he does not know what is going on around him. the question is, is it better to be ignorant and happy, or aware and not? tough one, and evidently man has been wrestling with this for ages. back to topgungirl's living room. i know this has the potential to be a train wreck, but why not, i figure i'm due. so we go out to eat at her favorite dive and get to talking and everything is copacetic until she drops the 'i'm seeing someone' bomb. here's the list of things that are going through my head at that moment: 1. check please! 2. this is one of those things that you should mention on the phone before a guy makes plans to drive down to see you. 3. is this some sort of twisted punk'd episode? 4. keep your face still and your mouth shut. and 5. don't laugh at the lettuce in her teeth. so she just mentions this new guy in passing, as one of many details about this tutoring project she's been working on, and now i'm looking at my watch realizing that it's going to be a while before i get home and i have a long week of lectureships that i'm going to have to endure. i manage to pay attention for the most part and try to be a good conversationalist while pushing this whole new guy thing to as far back in my mind as i can. it works for a while, long enough to make it through to the time when i need to get headed back on the road. so we end up talking while i'm on the way back home and she pulls out my all time favorite line, 'i never really thought of us as more than friends.' what? since when do friends hold hands walking down the beach? since when do friends kiss each other goodbye after an evening at disneyland? since when do friends drive a hundred miles to see you face to face when they could very easily call you on the phone? then she pulls the whole long distance thing into the picture, which at the very least i can understand, sorta. but that doesn't make up for the fact that this information would have been a lot more useful before i had made the trek down to see her. then it hits me, i'm totally clueless (cue the fountains). i have no idea what separates a friend from a boyfriend. good for her, and good for this new guy that they figured it out, i'm driving back to simi clueless. she said something about always looking at me as a friend again, and i told her something, i'm not really sure what... at that point it just hit me like a ton of bricks that this whole friends/ big brother (the other popular comment) thing i get is lame. the thing that really got to me though is that there has always been potential on the horizon. like i always knew in the back of my mind that there was something that could possibly be there, and that's gone. it's times like last night when you don't feel like driving home. you don't know wether to throw on the mellow christian cd to get your focus back, or to throw on metallica's black album and vent. i went with metallica, and fortunately i didn't see any cops on the freeway last night, or at least they didn't see me. it's nights like last night where you ask God questions that really can't be put into words. and it's nights like last night where you have to question what you know about yourself, not because you want to, but because you have 100 miles to go still before you can crawl in your bed and make the day go away. needless to say i'm a wreck today. not so much that she's going out with someone else, but that i had the whole situation so misread. i realize i've done that a lot. my mind is full of memories of ones i thought got away, but i realize now i never had. hmm... that's hard to look at on screen.
so now the question is how do i put my game-face on for this week? when i see all these people that are coming into town for the lectureships and they ask how things are going do i tell them the truth? that i feel like garbage and i have no clue how to read people, and its eating me alive, or do i smile and put on a happy front and spare them the sob story. what do you do when being yourself isn't what you thought it was? hmm.... i think today i understand why whiny emo bands are so popular.
oh yeah, other side-note... we were talking about self control a few weeks ago in our small groups and the challenge was given to me to give up caffeine for a month. i'm on day three and i feel like garbage. more updates as the month goes on.
well, time to go get my mind on something else.
one love, one heart.
i went down to san diego on sunday afternoon to go visit topgungirl and dantheman. i'll start off with the fun stuff i guess... i got to hang out with dantheman pretty much all day yesterday which always makes for a chill day. nothing special, we lazed around the apt till 11 or so, wandered over to the movie theatre to see if there were any movies that we could catch. not happening so we went and blew a few bucks at his fave store (ross) and mine (best buy) and went back and watched die hard and jammed on guitars all afternoon. probably doesn't sound like much but its days like those that i love the most. nothing pressing to do, cracking up, telling stories, coming up with ideas on how we can change the world... the usual.
then comes last night. you know things are off to a bad start when you're in the living room of a girls house, she's coming down the stairs, and a family friend asks her as she's coming down the stairs, 'so who's this guy you've been bringing to church?' and you're not that guy. i should have bailed right then. but, being the idiot that i am i decided to stick it out, i mean, i came down from simi to see her, i'm not exactly going to give up that easy, at the very least i should see what's going on. mistake number two. flashback to my last semester of college and sr. philosophy, we' re debating 'gimpel the fool', where gimpel is referred to as the town fool because he does not know what is going on around him. the question is, is it better to be ignorant and happy, or aware and not? tough one, and evidently man has been wrestling with this for ages. back to topgungirl's living room. i know this has the potential to be a train wreck, but why not, i figure i'm due. so we go out to eat at her favorite dive and get to talking and everything is copacetic until she drops the 'i'm seeing someone' bomb. here's the list of things that are going through my head at that moment: 1. check please! 2. this is one of those things that you should mention on the phone before a guy makes plans to drive down to see you. 3. is this some sort of twisted punk'd episode? 4. keep your face still and your mouth shut. and 5. don't laugh at the lettuce in her teeth. so she just mentions this new guy in passing, as one of many details about this tutoring project she's been working on, and now i'm looking at my watch realizing that it's going to be a while before i get home and i have a long week of lectureships that i'm going to have to endure. i manage to pay attention for the most part and try to be a good conversationalist while pushing this whole new guy thing to as far back in my mind as i can. it works for a while, long enough to make it through to the time when i need to get headed back on the road. so we end up talking while i'm on the way back home and she pulls out my all time favorite line, 'i never really thought of us as more than friends.' what? since when do friends hold hands walking down the beach? since when do friends kiss each other goodbye after an evening at disneyland? since when do friends drive a hundred miles to see you face to face when they could very easily call you on the phone? then she pulls the whole long distance thing into the picture, which at the very least i can understand, sorta. but that doesn't make up for the fact that this information would have been a lot more useful before i had made the trek down to see her. then it hits me, i'm totally clueless (cue the fountains). i have no idea what separates a friend from a boyfriend. good for her, and good for this new guy that they figured it out, i'm driving back to simi clueless. she said something about always looking at me as a friend again, and i told her something, i'm not really sure what... at that point it just hit me like a ton of bricks that this whole friends/ big brother (the other popular comment) thing i get is lame. the thing that really got to me though is that there has always been potential on the horizon. like i always knew in the back of my mind that there was something that could possibly be there, and that's gone. it's times like last night when you don't feel like driving home. you don't know wether to throw on the mellow christian cd to get your focus back, or to throw on metallica's black album and vent. i went with metallica, and fortunately i didn't see any cops on the freeway last night, or at least they didn't see me. it's nights like last night where you ask God questions that really can't be put into words. and it's nights like last night where you have to question what you know about yourself, not because you want to, but because you have 100 miles to go still before you can crawl in your bed and make the day go away. needless to say i'm a wreck today. not so much that she's going out with someone else, but that i had the whole situation so misread. i realize i've done that a lot. my mind is full of memories of ones i thought got away, but i realize now i never had. hmm... that's hard to look at on screen.
so now the question is how do i put my game-face on for this week? when i see all these people that are coming into town for the lectureships and they ask how things are going do i tell them the truth? that i feel like garbage and i have no clue how to read people, and its eating me alive, or do i smile and put on a happy front and spare them the sob story. what do you do when being yourself isn't what you thought it was? hmm.... i think today i understand why whiny emo bands are so popular.
oh yeah, other side-note... we were talking about self control a few weeks ago in our small groups and the challenge was given to me to give up caffeine for a month. i'm on day three and i feel like garbage. more updates as the month goes on.
well, time to go get my mind on something else.
one love, one heart.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
