Batman: No use, Joker! I knew you'd employ your sneezing powder, so I took an Anti-Allergy Pill! Instead of a sneeze, I've caught you, cold!

Dear Blog readers,
Thanks for being interested enough to read my little rants and stuff. It means a lot to know that if you type up random movie phrases into google search, you end up here.


Dear surfing,
I’m glad that we finally met. I have a lot of respect for anyone that has been friends with you for a while, because you’re tough to get a hold of. But I understand why so many people that become friends with you stay friends with you. I look forward to hanging out more often.
wipe out

Dear Baseball,
Sorry we haven’t spent much time together this year, but I want you to know that I still love you. I’m really glad that you haven’t had any steroids incidents lately, and when we have been able to spend time together, you’re a completely changed person. Even though the Yankees and Astros are not living up to my expectations, it is nice to see the ‘Rays’ throwing at the Red Sox.
I think it’s also worth mentioning that you should ride the Josh Hamilton hype for a while. Anyone that makes fans out of yankee stadium attendees is impressive to say the least. I’ve been a baseball fan for as long as I can remember, and there are very few stories that match the turnaround he (through the grace of God) has been able to make. I’ll be sure to buy his jersey when he joins the Yankees.

I do have some suggestions for you though. When it comes to the All-Star festivities, could we take out the middle round of the home run derby? It’s a great event that gets marred every year by the awkward second round. Let’s just take the best in the NL and let them slug it out against the best in the AL. Speaking of which, I think the home run derby should be a contest between the top four home run hitters from either league, whether or not they are on the all star ballot. Just a thought.

And finally, I love your hats with the American flag on the team logo. It’s awesome when my love for baseball and my love for my country get wrapped up into one uber-patriotic masterpiece.
Good game,

Dear Dan Uggla,
The A.L.

Dear Honduras,
Your country is pretty amazing. It’s hot and humid, there’s garbage everywhere and I don’t understand a word that is said there, but I had a great visit. Your people live some amazing lives and I am glad to be associated with them. My only thing is you might want to treat your kids that are sick and handicapped a little better.

Via con dios,

Dear summer,
Thanks for keeping me busy, and thanks for not being too hot yet. I look forward to seeing you every year, and you’ve been so reliable. I hope that my amount of bbq-ing and drinking huge cups of iced tea have made you feel appreciated. By the way, I’m really glad that our country became free while you were on watch, because I really love having our nation’s birthday party during your time.

Stay cool,

Dear awesomeintern,
You can go ahead and keep the sign up on the office door that says this is your office. You’re doing a great job and it’s going to be really weird not to have you around in a few weeks. By the way, you say awesome all of the time now.


Dear old computer,
You lasted for four great years and you were a great computer, but I think we both know that your time has come. If you make it out of your coma you still have a spot on my desk, but if not I won’t think any less of you.


Dear iPhone,
We got off to a rough start, but I’m glad that we have become friends and hang out all of the time. Thanks for giving me directions and suggesting restaurants and all the other stuff that you do.


Dear wipeout,
You are the best new show on tv. Stay real!

See you soon,

Dear Family,
I was re-reading Blue Like Jazz a few weeks ago and was kind of floored again by the idea of a confession booth where Christians apologize to the world for things we have or haven’t done to show God’s love. It’s a pretty crazy concept, but I think it would be pretty cool to try in simi valley. It hit at a really good time for me because we’ve been talking a lot in little side conversations here about things that we feel like we need to change, and several of those conversations involve starting conversation in the community about what we can do to serve.

Humbly yours,

Dear batman,
Thanks for living up to the hype and not making me reget waiting in line to see you at midnight. You make awesome movies. I know you struggled for a while but this last one was pretty amazing. The joker was by far the creepiest bad guy I’ve ever seen on screen, and the story you told was so entertaining. I love how you stressed the importance of hope, responsibility, and where we find those virtues. However, I was pretty disturbed by the Joker’s speech on creating chaos. He’s kind of like a Hannibal Lector without patience and that made for some pretty crazy discussions afterwards. I look forward to seeing you again soon.

With respect,

dear people who dress up as the joker,
stop it. I think it’s time to rethink who you identify with. Yes, heath ledger turned in an amazing performance, but it’s just a character, and we don’t really need any more sociopaths running around.


dear people in lines,
you really shouldn’t complain about the people in front of you in line, because you are there too, and you are the very thing that you are complaining about to the people behind you. Also, I think it’s funny how so many of you step to the side of the line to physically count how many people are in front of you.

Be sure to keep your spot,

Dear subwoofer,
Thanks for magically appearing in my truck while I was in Honduras. You sound awesome and my neighbors don’t like you. I never thought i would be one of those guys that have you as a friend, but I’m glad it worked out so that we can hang.


Dear sleep,
We need to hang out more often.


one love, one heart.

1 comment:

OK Chick said...

Very nice!