10,9,8,6...Six? What happenend to seven? just kidding! 7,6,5,4,3,2,1, have a nice day.

2oth anniversary.
i now present 50 reasons why 1987 was the greatest year for movies ever:

empire of the sun
the princess bride
top gun
adventures in babysitting
planes, trains and automobiles
north shore
the running man
good morning vietnam
full metal jacket
the last emperor
lethal weapon
summer school
the untouchables
beverly hills cop 2
raising arizona
wall street
ernest goes to camp
revenge of the nerds 2
dorf on golf
eddie murphy: raw
la bamba
police academy 4: citizens on patrol
back to the beach
hamburger hill
masters of the universe
the lost boys
over the top
*batteries not included
surf nazis must die
garbage pail kids
evil dead 2
shaka zulu
007: the living daylights
throw momma from the train
the secret of my succe$s
harry and the hendersons
born in east l.a.
superman 4
teen wolf too
less than zero

and for the female vote:
dirty dancing
3 men and a baby
fatal attraction
broadcast news
the witches of eastwick
who's that girl
no way out

i dare somebody to come up with a list that comes close to competing with 1987.

as far as the deep stuff goes, there's so much to share right now, that i really struggle with opening up online. i created this blog with the intent to have a place where i could put my thoughts into words, and i'm afraid that original intent has been lost with the knowledge that quite a few (more than expected) do read this, and there are reprocussions now to what i write. also, there is an increased pressure to entertain. you know how a tv show starts off as something unique and then seems to lose it's original draw? (alias anyone?) that's the feeling i get whenever i sit down with the intent to write these days. as much of a blessing as it has been to keep in touch with so many friends, and to make new ones over this medium, it really has transformed away from it's original intent.

so the question is... do i continue on? do i start a new blog and not tell anyone? do i try and keep up both? or do i go back and attempt to recreate the candidness that i had back in august of 04... well, after going through and reading my blogs over the past three years (almost 200 pages printed out!) in the period of a week i've decided to make an effort to be more open and honest with this blog, consequences and all.

the biggest thing on my mind these days are relationships, which says a lot considering i'm about to start my summer schedule here. i recently broke off/put on pause/ it's complicated with chulagirl which has made a pretty good size impact on my day-to-day life. that chance to get back together is there, but i just don't feel up to trying to maintaining a relationship over a long distance. she's done her best to convince me otherwise, but every phone call and message just reaffirms my decision to go it alone for now. then there's the friends issues. my best friend in simi valley hasn't even called me back in three weeks, and we haven't hung out in who knows how long. i'm not one who needs a million friends around all the time, but the constant no response pretty much sucks. esp when they're the person that builds you up the most. all that being said, over the past few months i've completely flaked out on a good friend and really hurt her feelings by doing the same thing. it's funny (in a painful way) that the things that hurt the most are the things we do ourselves so often. then there's the role of middle man that i've become for my mom and sister, who for some reason are not getting along at all. i take that back, there are a lot of reasons, but those are for them to share. as for me, i get to spend hours listening to both sides of every story trying to create some sense of peace. let's just say we are all dealing with the past few years in our own separate ways. then comes the changing face of my friends. my closest friends are mostly married, which was a tough transition to get used to, and now several of them are expecting to be fathers soon, which has lead to an even larger gap between our ability to relate. i am nothing but excited for my friends, but at the same time i feel like i am becoming increasingly out of the loop. this came to fruition a few weeks ago when i found out that a bunch of the youth ministers are going in together on a house boat for a week next september. after i found out i was then invited, which i respectfully declined. as happy as i am that the youth ministers and their wives are starting to fellowship together, i'm really not too stoked on spending a week on a boat with a bunch of married couples. as much as i do love a good awkward moment, um... yeah. anyways, i have no ill will towards any of these people or situations, life happens, but it has become increasingly taxing on me. last year at this time things were crazy emotionally, but everything was focused specifically on one situation. now, it seems all of life's drama is spread all over the place.

it's times like these that i wish i had half the wisdom that my father had.

hmm. i took a moment to look at what i just wrote and realized how overwhelming that last paragraph was. so i called dantheman, and after an hour on the phone i return to this post with a smile on my face. yes, these things are somewhat overwhelming, but as i looked at what i was writing there is a desperation in those words that really isn't there. the simple ability to look at these things and see that they are all a result of how much i care about those i keep close to me. i would be completely mistaken to assume that these things are insurmountable. sometimes, just seeing things typed out in front of you can help out. hmm, back to the original purpose of this blog.

with that off my chest, it's time to move to other things that seem significantly less important by comparison.

i've made two purchases recently that have made a significant impact on my life; a whiteboard and a mini-fridge. first off, the whiteboard. this simple piece of common office material has helped me in several ways. 1: i have my whole calendar for the next four months written out in front of me as a constant reminder of what is going on when, which makes it much easier to prioritize my event planning. 2: everyone who comes in can see that we have a bunch of stuff going on in the next few months. 3: all of my to do lists are there glaring at me in one spot. 4: my desk is no longer covered in notes and post-its.
as for the 4.3 cubic feet of refrigerated goodness that i bought, my gain is strictly personal, but it 1: saves me money. i figure the fridge will pay for itself in 8 weeks if i save $15 a week on food. 2: it helps me eat healthier, because i'm not eating out as much. 3: i can't really pinpoint why, but i've always wanted to have a mini fridge. maybe its a throwback to the good ol' college years. maybe i just like to have cool beverages right at my fingertips. it could be that it makes this feel less like an office and more like home. perhaps it's the simple fact that i did something smart to save money. or finally, maybe it reminds me that im not stuck in a micro-cubicle somewhere and i can have my own fridge if i want to. either way, i think i'm done waxing poetic about my mini fridge.

and in an effort to make this post a bell-curve of importance, here are other nominees for best year for movies ever:
1989 (major league, bill and ted's, back to the future 2)
1999 (fight club, matrix, office space)
2003 (matrix 2/3, x men 2, italian job)
1995 (braveheart, usual suspects, billy madison)
2002 (lord of the rings 2, star wars 2, spiderman)

one love, one heart.

1 comment:

OK Chick said...

good post. i related to the deep part of your post (the friends getting married stuff). it's amazing what a friend can do to change your attitude. you guys are lucky to have each other.