I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less. Gus McCrae-Lonesome Dove

physically speaking i have terrible balance. this would be the root of many of my sports related injuries and mishaps. my lack of balance contributes almost solely to my inability to longboard well (both skating and surfing), my fear of heights, and me always running into things and or slipping and falling. one of my problems is that i favor my right side so much, i am often not centered, and tend to not focus on my weaker (left) side.

i've also noticed lately that i have terrible balance when it comes to God providing for me, or to put it simply, the good outweighs the bad. here are a few of the things that have happened to me lately that have brought about this realization.

my bank card was declined the other day when i tried to pay rent, buy as and get cash from the machine. bad day. the reason my card was declined was that someone was trying to access my account and set off a security protocol that deactivates my card. in short, someone was trying to get into my money and they failed, and my bank protected me. much better day.

my apt complex would not take a personal check after my card was declined, so i had to drive 35 minutes to my nearest bank branch (don't ask why) and get a cashier's check and some cash for the rent and spending money for the next few days. bad day. but, my drive to my bank in port hueneme includes 15 minutes of driving through farm country near the coast. it's a beautiful drive and i got to listen to some great music on the way and just relax and enjoy the rainbow that God gives us after rain. good drive, very good day.

for the next week or so until i get my new card, i can not use an atm, or purchase anything online, or with my old card. so, i'm getting phone calls and letters from bill collectors about my card being declined. way lame day. but, after having to pay for everything in cash or check, i'm having to take a look at how i'm spending my money. i've been looking through my finances and finding new ways that i can save money, which is a much bigger priority in my life. i think when i get a day to just work on my finances, i'm going to have a lot of my stuff more organized. very good and necessary day.

this month i am out of town a lot. actually, i'm going to be gone from church four sundays in a row. not necessarily the best thing when there are many fires to take care of, and i def have an increased stress level, and most of all, i don't like being away from the kiddos. bad month. but, the reasons i'm gone four sundays in a row go like this: guest speaking at a retreat, jr high retreat, visiting my sister in england for thanksgiving, and a high school retreat at pepperdine. and, i've got a youth deacon that is missing hanging out with the kids teaching class on sundays. retreats, guest speaking, deacon involvement, traveling to europe... awesome month.

i've got a kid in the youth group that takes a lot of my energy when they are around. a great kid, with a great heart, that just takes a lot of 'talking to'. it's my job, and i love it, but it does add up to be a stressful thing having to talk with them about EVERYTHING. not necessarily bad, but energy consuming. anyways, their parent let me know recently that after a lifetime of looking forward to community college, they have changed their mind and their son now wants to go to oc and be a youth minister because of my influence. i felt like neo in the matrix when he just starts flying because he can. i was so ecstatic, i could barely contain myself, and i def cried right then and there. good day just doesn't seem to capture the feeling, but you get the idea.

the day after i got back from portland, i had a chance to see one of my friends, lameesa, who was in socal speaking at one of dantheman's retreats. we did the usual cracking up and just hanging out doing nothing and loving every minute of it. had a great talk and stuff was discussed that has me stoked for what the future might hold. way good day. on the way back i got stuck in traffic and it took almost four hours to get home. bad day, but not bad enough to make me forget how cool it is to hang out with the oc crew.

last and probably least, i got a giant stack of mail today. normally, a bad day seeing as how most of my mail consists of bills. but today was a good day, i got an autographed picture from mr robert goulet himself. oh man, i have not stopped laughing since this morning. and yes, the picture is now in a frame hanging on an office wall.

here's the kicker...this weekend we have a jr high retreat, with the theme of 'zero balance', and i don't think that there is really a coincidence between what i've been thinking lately and the theme of the retreat. my part of the retreat deals with the scripture regarding the ten lepers. in short, they call out to Jesus for pity, (note: they cry out for pity, not to be healed) and Jesus sends the to the local priest, and on the way they are healed. only one of the lepers comes back and thanks Jesus, and he turns around and rewards that man for his faith. the thing is, Jesus gave them more than what they asked for, and he did exactly what these guys needed him to do. it's crazy. i don't know how much of my life i've spent as one of the nine, but lately i really feel like God has been blessing me for focusing on being thankful for all of the blessings i have received, despite some of the garbage i have had to deal with lately. it's a great feeling, and i def feel like i should be throwing myself at the feet of Jesus.

Dear God,
I'm at your feet right now. It's where i belong, and it's where i want to be. thank you for giving me more than i ask for, and exactly what i need.

one love and one heart.

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