4.11.2005

only a surreal day could get me to continue this...

so this weekend was yet another group of surreal days.
saturday i took a kiddo to the beach and got back in an artistic mode. we're doing a mural in the youth room, and i've been struggling for a way to get back into doing art, and this has been a big help. nothing groundbreaking here, just feels good to get the ol sketchbook back in action, and to have some ideas that are worth putting up on canvas, or a wall.

saturday night was cool, because i was reading through my notes on the book of james for class, and scripture really started to speak to me. james starts off his book talking about how we should find joy in trials, because that means we are being grown in faith. interesting concept, that i never really understood. i feel like i've always been told to run from sin and hide, but it is becoming more apparent that i am fully capable and turning towards, and confronting my sin, because i've got support. God doesn't want me to fail. He's promised to help me battle sin. so no more running. i'm not much of a runner anyways. it's time i become a stand and fight christian. sweet, maybe i can start stepping on some toes, specifically mine. i'm not saying this is for everyone, james also says that there is a a need for wisdom and maturity when confronting sin, but i think i've been put in a position to lead, and that's what a leader does, knows when to run, and knows when to fight. i guess the theme song for me right now would be 'bring it on', because i seriously feel ready to take on the anything that's thrown at me. that, and i keep thinking of the quote from blackhawk down, where the troops are getting to ready to go out, and one of the soldiers asks why the other soldier is taking out the 20 lb plate in the back of his armor, and he replies, 'i don't intend to get shot running away'. nice. we'll see how this goes.

so roll on to sunday. nursegirl was supposed to ride down to san diego with me for the godfather's going away party. she bails on me with a text message during church saying that she already left this morning. salgoode, that frees me up to stay in s.d. for the night, except i'm not really packed for it, and i don't have time to do the necessary laundry. whatever, i've worn the same clothes two days in a row, i'll just bail early monday before i see anyone. have i mentioned before how i love the flexibility of being a bachelor? anyways, l.a. traffic was esp lame because i was pretty stoked to get to the godfather's going away party. so i get to the party, and see a some friends that i haven't talked to since last summer, and i 'm having a blast catching up. more and more people are filtering in, all people that i was glad to see, topped off by a few specific females that i have at one point or another seriously cared about. (mind you this goes back to jr high days). anyways, it's a bit of a trip because they all look extremely hot, and i've always had an increased awkwardness talking to girls that are hotter. i.e., the hotter they are, the harder they are to talk to. general rule, not without exceptions, but you get the idea. anyways, it was good to catch up with all of them, and it was really cool because there really weren't to many awkward moments to speak of, aside from the look on my face when i realized all of them were sitting right by each other. yeah, that was weird. i had a couple of people comment on it, but nothing really noteworthy, aside from the fact that topgun girl was there, and we got to talk for a while, kinda patched things up. i think the consensus is that we're both pretty busy right now, and a long distance thing really isn't something we have the energy to commit to, but we want to keep in touch so that when that time does come, we're not wondering whatever happened to....? then there was catching up with this other chica that i hadn't seen in prob seven or eight years. i wish there was something to tell, but we just hung out for a couple of minutes, gave brief versions of the last few years and that was it. overall that part of sunday was anti-climactic for what was potentially there, but i'm all about avoiding drama. i'll call it a surreal day, potentially weird, but really not that bad.

got to hang out with one of mi amigos that's a youth minister in s.d. and talk camp stuff, now i'm all stoked on camp this summer. that, and the godfather is coming back for camp. oh man, i wish i had a camera to see my reaction to that news. this whole going away party for him was awesome. the godfather takes compliments so well. when a lot of people get praise for their accomplishments, they tend to pass it off with stuff like 'Oh God did all of the work..' and stuff like that, which is understandable, because God does do some awesome work. but the godfather always makes sure to be thankful for the compliment, and own up to the fact God used him to do the work. kinda cool, one of those things that has always impressed me about the godfather. he doesn't deny his part or involvement in people's lives, but makes sure they know it is God working through him, and that God can do that with anyone. that, and the other quote from the godfather that struck me this weekend was, ' i stopped praying for God to start working in my life, and started praying that He make me aware of what He was already doing.'

what an encouragement.

one love, one heart.

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