1.05.2005

i'm listening to bob dylan wondering what all the hype is about

this is one of those days wehre i'm listening to cds that i never listen to. there's a reason i forgot i had 'blonde on blonde'. i think the only reason i burned it in the first place was the fact that it's mentioned on every classic album list, it has the high fidelity connection, and a friend of mine had it available to burn. on to more pressing matters...

so in my effort to get back to as organized as i was a month or so ago, i guess it's time to start blogging again. i guess getting a routine is more helpful than i first imagined. ever since i went back home for thanksgiving i've been a little off in my ministry. enough so that me and lawdog talked yesterday about it some. i guess being around the family shuts me down a little bit. i knew something was not working right in the ministry the past few weeks or so, i'm just glad we identified the problem before it got out of hand.

so that's the good news for today. i feel like i'm back on track. sort of. when the youth calendar is chalk full of events i think i'll feel a lot better. but as for now today is pretty much a good day. i finally figured out how to get my computer up and going so that i'm connected online 24/7 which is always nice. i can get back to downloading concerts and stuff. that, and it won't take 45 minutes to check espn in the mornings.

that good news comes along the heels of an orange bowl that was unreal. after five years of putting up with noise from my big 12 amigos it was nice to call people back in oklahoma last night and talk a little noise. that, and after a few well placed bets i have a couple of my meals payed for the next time i go to visit. man, that wasn't even a game. i think my favorite part of this mess is how all of the sports analysts are backpeddling like madmen today. well, there goes the debate about the pac-10 not being as tough as the big 12.
the best part of the game was that i made the trek down to murietta to dantheman's apt for the game. nothing like watching bowl games on a big screen with surround sound, steaks on the grill and the company of a few good friends. seriously it was straight out of a commercial. you gotta love being stereotypical. the other good thing, was no grief for being the only bachelor there. you gotta lvoe being able to hang out with the married friends without feeling out of place. last night came pretty close to actually being at the holiday bowl last week, and def beat out saturday's 3-tv viewing extravaganza at the apt.

other stuff... i got pulled over last night, and the police officer said he felt bad enough for me driving my bronco around he wasn't going to give me a ticket for rolling through a stop sign. i think it was the fact that i have to hotwire my truck to turn it on and off that actually made him laugh.

trying to start a long distance relationship is lame. i'm clueless as to how people make them work.

--------insert about 4 hours here---------

what a difference a few hours can make.
so a couple of kids came by to work on the church bulletin and we got talking. next thing i knew it was time to grab some dinner before our jr high roots meeting. anyways, it was awesome tonite interacting with the kiddos. i feel like i started all over again. i also talked to m old youth minister for a while and he has a way of always putting things in perspective. i think i lost focus of what my type of ministry is, and was not playing to my strengths. i see myself as a relationship minister more than an activities minister, and i've been trying to become one while ignoring the other. man, things are so much easier to handle when you can put them into words. so the goal tonite was to approach things from my gut feeling and focus on building the relationships in our group. i have been feeling so worn out after our small groups recently, but right now i seriously think i could stay up all night and paint or something.

as i mentioned earlier i talked to my old youth minister this afternoon. i seriously can't think of anyone outside of my family that i admire more. the guy has put his own personal gain aside for so long for the sake of ministry. just because it's the right thing to do. there's a lot to be said for allowing God's goal for you to supercede your own. if we could all be so lucky. i can't wait for friday mrning to see him again before he moves up to portland. it's going to be tough knowing that he's not just down the road to talk to, but there are going to be a lot of college students blessed by his presence in portland.

i also got to talk to my friend dainty, who i haven't really got to talk to much since i've moved up to simi. daitny is one of the few guys i know where we can end our conversations with an 'i love you brother' and really mean it. i know a lot of ministry guys who sa that, and it's good that we are able to care for each other, but it's different when it's a friend you've grown up with. the fact that he's not the consistent church going type makes it mean that much more. i love the fact that i do have friends without walls between us. i think of all these 'reality' shows where people are so suprised by how one person can go out of thier way for another, or how special these relationships are... we all have that capability if we like. i think it's a lot more comfortable to not invest though. no danger of a bust. man, i need to read wild at heart again.

well, there's a lot on my mind now that i have my outlet back. it's gonna have to wait till tomorrow though, it's getting late and my office is freezing. i think i'm gonna go home and see what the cuz is up to. i may even get something done around the apt.

one love and one heart, esp to you sooner fans that need a hug.

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