Well, as the title suggests, it’s late and I can’t sleep. When I left the office today I thought I might barely make it home I was so tired, now I can’t seem to doze off at all. I even started watching pride and prejudice on tv, and I got bored before I got tired.
So why am I so tired? Part of me thinks that after a year of waiting on edge, my body is catching up. Part of me thinks I have lulled myself to sleep. Another part of me thinks I simply am a night person, and look forward to the quietness of being up late. Things are so much clearer when you are up late. Your options for activities are severely limited, so it becomes easier to decide what to do. And since there are few people to distract, it’s actually a lot easier to get things done. Right now I am house sitting for a family at church, but I can guarantee if I were back at the pat my room would be cleaned and my laundry done tonight. But, I’m here with either late night basic cable or my own thoughts to keep me entertained, neither one of which really seems constructive. Oh well.
So life has been pretty serious lately, but anyone who knows me knows that it won’t be too long before the crazy stories come out and start to replace deep reflective thought with the stupid stuff that I love to laugh at.
Last night was valleygirl’s birthday and we all went out to benihana’s for dinner. I had a blast for three reasons. 1. the girl I was sitting next to me laughed every time we said ‘fork’. Not really sure why she thought it was funny, but we did get a kick out of trying to make her laugh with food in her mouth. B. me, the cuz and a-list had a great idea for a Mexican restaurant that served dinner benihana style. We would call it ‘tres gueros’. And 3. our chef almost burned his hand more than once looking back, staring at one of valley girl’s friends. I can’t blame the guy for looking (we were too), but not paying attention to a hot grill and sharp knives in front of you should prob take priority.
Life with the cuz is always good for a few laughs, mostly about my odd habits and strange tendencies, but there’s always times like tonite when the cuz calls me out on some of the goofy stuff I say. For example, I used the term ‘avant-garde’ tonite and tried to play it off like I knew what it meant. Busted. the cuz caught me using words w/o knowing the definition. Ouch. Then as we’re walking out of the store were I bought a new hoodie, I mention that it’s getting colder. Busted again, the cuz knew I just wanted an excuse to wear my hoodie. Not anything that’s going to bring sore sides from laughing, but it made me crack up.
Yesterday I participated in my new favorite tradition at work, Tuesday afternoon Costco hotdogs with the senior saints. For $1.50 I can get a polish hot dog and a coke and hang out with some of the funniest people I have ever met. Yesterday one of the guys got to telling stories about putting down animals, and he kept using the term ‘smoked that cat’ in reference to him shooting a troublesome feline. I lost it every time he said ‘smoked that cat, and he started laughing at me and saying it more and things just kinda went downhill from there. I thought we were going to get kicked out to the Costco food court.
So what else has been on my mind lately…
The office season 2 came out on dvd yesterday. If you haven’t watched every episode you are missing by far the funniest show on tv.
Speaking of tv, the only other show I’m really into (lost) just came out on dvd as well, just in time to get a refresher in before season three starts. I should sit down and do a whole blog revealing all of my nerdiness when it comes to lost, but I’ll leave it alone after just a few tidbits of my thoughts. First, I don’t think the writers know where the series is going that far in advance, I think they took a few looks at what the conspiracy theorists were writing online and turned them into plotlines. Second, my favorite character is mr. ecko. I live his back story and the way he uses faith in his decisions. A close second would be locke, because there are a lot of times where he looks and acts like my dad. And finally, kate (Evangeline lily) is by far the hottest person to ever come from Canada. Lastly, I think the whole thing is a giant psych experiment on the characters, and on us the viewers.
Speaking of messing with people, if you are into any of my prank stories at all, you should look up ‘improve everywhere’. By far some of the greatest pranks I’ve ever heard of.
Well, I guess this is some sort of sedative, because I’m actually starting to feel tired. Actually, I just realized the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I get to wear my new hoodie tomorrow. Before you laugh, you know how comfortable new clothes are, especially sweatshirts.
But before I go, I would like to say thanks to all my friends out there that read this and comment, call, write, whatever. Like I wrote about last time, I’m feeling lately like I have a whole army of friends out there that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
One love, one heart.
9.21.2006
9.13.2006
untitled.
for obvious reasons there are a lot of things that have been on my mind lately, too many to compartmentalize with a single quote, or title. so this is simply untitled. to give a further heads up, my original goal of keeping blogs in the first place was to allow me to be able to look back and see where i was and what i was thinking. i've made this public because i don't mind sharing many of the things that go on in my life, but please be aware that i may be talking about some sensitive ideas about my father's passing and related events. please allow this to be a blessing and an encouragement if you choose to read, and i completely understand if you stop here.
my father passed away saturday august 26th, 2006. after more than two decades of fighting a brain tumor, his body is now at rest serving others while his spirit is with our God. Dad was nearing his 52nd birthday, and was happily married for more than 25 years. my mom, my sister and i miss him dearly, but are relieved and joyous that he is now without pain, and in a place of constant bliss.
i'd like to thank everyone for their kind comments, hugs and prayers.
the bio:
in his lifetime he grew up and went to college in arkansas, ran cross country, served as a helicopter pilot in the marines, worked for top gun, burger king, and alaska airlines. he taught fifth grade sunday school for more than a decade, served as a elder in the church for seven years and was always the last to leave the church building. he spent countless hours ministering to those around him, counseling young couples, inviting people out for ice cream after church and spent hours upon hours listening to the stories of those who were blessed to be around him. he took pride in a flower garden that included yellow roses for my mom, went to almost all of my baseball games, and was an avid fan of the inglewood jr high bands and eastlake volleyball teams that my sister was a part of. he managed to make people laugh even when he lost his ability to communicate clearly, and had a distinct chuckle and knee slap that made others feel funny as well. dad had a twinkle in his eye that made women feel beautiful and men appreciated, but was often overshadowed by a distinct smile that let everyone know that they were loved. he has countless 'adopted' sons and daughters and to date, one child named after him. he had several people that he referred to as best friends and countless more that he considered family.
the little things:
dad had a lot of little quirks about him that defined him so much more that anything you would ever think to ask. he loved to sleep in on saturdays, and it would often be well into the afternoon before we got started on any saturday projects. if mom was ever gone, he would always ask me and sarah to help him clean up the house before she got home. when we used to wrestle, he would always giggle, which drove me nuts because i never really could beat him. dad was a great artist. one of the few regrets i have about dad was that i never pushed him to create more art. some of his photography from china rivaled that of national geographic. he always wore his hat a little crooked. dad was never afraid to kiss mom in front of us. dad couldn't dance, but it was a common occurrence around our house to have some motown cranked up and our family grooving in the living room. whenever dad would pray he would get frustrated that the rest of us were still laughing at whatever it was that night that had us in stitches. he knew more little known facts about more random things, and he made sure to share with us whenever possible. dad had terrible form throwing a baseball, but never declined an offer to play catch. dad was always put together, his tie never showed from under his collar because he would ask me and sarah every week on the way to church to check for him. his shoes were always polished, nails trimmed, and he never looked out of date or inappropriate. dad loved to pull someone's leg, but he never let it get out of hand. he was a great chess player, lucky at backgammon and not so great at golf, but he enjoyed any activity he was doing. he was also in great shape despite putting away gallons of ice cream. i never beat him in a foot race. when i was little we used to watch the three stooges on some saturday afternoons, and dad would lay on the couch and i would lay down on his back so i could feel him laugh. on other saturday afternoons we would get up early and go visit some senior saints from church and spend some part of the day doing yard work, and most of the day listening to stories. dad never got everything he needed from home depot in one trip, we always had to go back for something we forgot. he wore the same style of topsiders and sunglasses for years. when it came to sports, dad was a fan of the hometown team, especially the underdogs.
my favorite moments:
there are so many memories that make me smile when i think about dad. my favorite moment was when i asked dad who his favorite baseball player was and he replied 'you are' without hesitation. i remember when dad wrote me a letter in fourth grade that said he was proud to be my father. one time we were at a gas station in a shady part of town and we thought that these guys were going to try and hurt the clerk. without hesitation dad got out of the truck and told me to lock the doors. he never got involved but had things escalated i have no doubt the marine in him would have snapped into action. i remember that was the first time i saw him as a soldier. i remember trips ever week down to the barber shop, and the time when i was seven when i got my first flattop. "this, this and this." the infamous lane six story when dad didn't see the giant six painted on the ground in front of him. the hug dad gave me when i told him i got accepted into college. there are a few others that qualify as favorites, but those are for me to keep to myself.
as for me...
to be honest, i feel really good. i miss dad a lot, but i feel better than i have in a long time. i didn't realize how crazy life had become wondering if every time the phone rang i would have to pack up and race home. i am so glad that i got see dad for a while before he passed. most of our family was there, and several friends as well. we sang songs and read the bible as dad got closer, and had several minutes of just the four of us. despite the sadness associated with that time, i will forever cherish that time with the people i care about the most. my mom shined as a pillar of faith, and my sister's compassion was awe inspiring. as for me, i felt like dad was imparting so much of his spirit unto me. one of the things that i have feared the most is how i am going to cope with the rest of my life without dad being there to guide me along. in those last few moments i felt coming over me this overwhelming sense of confidence and pride in knowing that my dad has equipped me to handle whatever comes my way. i cannot testify enough the role that faith played in these last few moments with dad. yes, we were sad, but we were also welcoming his departure. i was so tired of seeing my dad held back by a limited body. the feeling of knowing that he is free of pain and suffering has taken such a huge weight off of my shoulders. the verse in matthew 5 became so real to me at that moment; "blessed are those that mourn, for they will be comforted". i am so thankful to God that there are no regrets in my father's passing. my faith is so real to me now after being able to rejoice in these times.
the next few days:
the next few days were crazy to say the least. with so many family members and friends headed into town, the phone calls, the planning, the mourning, things are really a blur. i have to commend my aunt and our friends for planning a great service for dad in dallas. that made our lives so much easier. it was also a blessing to have such a close knit family. we may have our differences, but we truly shine in time like these. the stories, the laughter, the hugs, the meals. i enjoyed and appreciated every minute of my time with family and friends.
camden:
after a crazy week with family and friends, mi madre and i headed out to abilene to check on my sister and spend some time with her, and her friends. once i knew that everyone was doing all right, i decided to head out on my drive that i needed to go on. there were a lot of peripherals that i wanted visit or do, but the main item on my list of things to do was go visit camden arkansas where my dad grew up. i'm not sure why i went there, and i really wasn't sure what i was looking for, but whatever it was, i found it.
i left on a sunday afternoon from dallas and made it to camden around dinner time that night. the time went by pretty quickly with the help of some hank williams and willie nelson and a big pepsi to keep me company. it was also made shorter by the anticipation of something big, although i still can't put my finger on what it was.
my expectations were very high for my visit. all i had was an address. no directions, no names, just an address. i kind of envisioned finding some general store in town to walk into and ask some old guy where the street was and how i could get there. for some reason i also had this idea that i would find the house and there would be some family just sitting down to eat dinner. i would tell them about dad, and they would let me take pictures of the house and look around. there was even a small part of me that imagined seeing a younger version of my dad and uncle running through the streets. things were going as i had hoped as i arrived in camden, i stopped in at a church that was just getting out and was able to find out the location of the neighborhood that i was looking for. so i headed down the road past these nice country houses more towards the center of town (read mini mall with wal-mart at the center). i turned onto the side street that would take me to dad's neighborhood and i got kind of scared. i had been driving through miles of small country homes, white picket fences, the whole nine. i was now in a neighborhood that looked like it hadn't seen a coat of paint since my dad left thirty years ago. there were cars up on blocks in yards and people smoking joints on the front porches of several homes. i had to stop because it suddenly dawned on me that finding dad's home might actually not be a good thing. but i was too close to stop. a big part of me prepared for a huge letdown. i stopped and asked some guys working on their cars if they knew where the street was and they pointed impatiently down the road, 'second street on the left'. i drove to the street and was kind of grimacing because this was the worse street in the neighborhood. the whole street was covered in garbage and there were def plenty of backwoods looking folks just kind of milling around. i went down the street once and i didn't see the house, so i decided to give it one more shot. i did a u-turn and headed back up the street and finally found the house i was looking for. it was immaculate, the only house i had seen in blocks with a yard that was kept up, the bricks looked new, the paint was fresh... it looked like the house i wanted my dad to come from.
i mentioned my expectations before because i learned a valuable lesson at this point of my trip. so many times i build up huge expectations, or extremely low expectations, and many times the reality comes nowhere close to what i was expecting. as i was walking to the door of this house and waiting for someone to answer, i realized that my expectations had gone from one end of the spectrum to the complete opposite, now i was just hoping the person here would actually answer. and he did. a huge old guy hanging out of his boxers. this, i was not expecting. i kind of stuttered for a second before i introduced myself. i barely got my name out when he interrupted me, "i bought this house from a guy named iverson". "that's probably my granddad, i came here to see where my father grew up." simple, and to the point, although looking back i don't think this guy was exactly ready to give a tour of his home that sunday evening. but we talked for a couple of minutes, and then he let me take pictures of the house outside, while he went in and changed. after taking a few pictures i talked to the owner for a long time. we talked about what camden was like back in the day, the local sports teams, the paper mill my granddad used to work at... the weather. it was a good talk, and when it came time for me to leave i started to feel really relaxed. i thanked the man and headed a few blocks into town. i stopped in at wal mart to see if they had any local high school shirts or something, at the time i thought it would be cool to have a camden memento. kind of cheesy looking back, but looking back i think i just wasn't ready to leave town yet. that, and the high school that dad went to was replaced in 1994 by a new mega school that evidently was much needed. so i stopped in at an arby's in town and just hung out and kind did some people watching. it was weird to think that dad never really returned to camden. i was watching these kids from a youth group and i started trying to guess who would leave and never come back, and who would end up staying in camden for the rest of their lives. hmmm.
anyways, i hit the road again, not really sure where i was going next, but figuring it probably included oklahoma since i was in the vicinity (relatively). i felt this huge peace come over me that made the whole trip worth it. i can't exactly put my finger on what it was that made me feel so good, so we'll just chalk it up to God giving me a good day. it was great to see camden though, the road there was absolutely awesome, this back highway through trees and fields... and not a car in sight. i think i drove for thirty minutes at a time in between seeing cars. one thing i did notice was how much the road to dad's town reminded me of the road to church in seattle. it made a lot more sense driving down that road why dad never complained about the thirty minute drive to church in washington, it must have reminded him of home. he never said anything to me, but i like to think that was part of why dad was always in a good mood driving to and from church.
for the next couple of days i ventured around oklahoma, seeing people i needed to see, kids that i worked with, and people that i have come to call family. it was great. it also made me realize several things that have really put me at ease. first, there is no going back. i have always had in my mind this crazy fantasy that i could go back to the way things were if needed, if things ever got too tough to deal with, and i can't. maybe the reason dad never took us back to camden was that he didn't want to see his old neighborhood run down. for all of my stories about enjoying my time in oklahoma, that's what they are no, stories, memories, things to look back on and reflect, not a place to retreat.
my next big realization is how much of footprint i have left on the world. i am not saying i am some kind of big deal, but it was good to go back and see that i had impacted a few people's lives. one of the tough parts of my job is that most of my results are going to be measured over a long period of time, which i'm sure will pay off in the end, but can be tough to realize when you've got your head focused in the now.
catching up with friends. what a blessing. they truly are my muse and inspiration for a lot of my energy and thoughts. from my friends in youth ministry, to my family friends, to people that have come in for a while and seemingly disappeared, i have an army of people that i truly love. i am realizing lately exactly how blessed i am when it comes to friends.
God is big. there are some things that you can only figure out at 70 mph driving across the desert just after it rained. He wasn't using words, but pictures to tell me a story. i could only cheapen it by trying to tell you what He said to me, that and i don't really know exactly what i could say. it was a feeling. call it joy, call it whatever existential term you choose to use, but it was a good feeling.
and lastly, i am capable. according to wild at heart this is the thing that all guys want to know deep down. there is something about venturing across the country by yourself that makes you ask questions you never think of otherwise. the longer i drove the more capable i felt. i returned home energized and revived for my life here. i didn't make any big to-do about being home, i just went in a cleaned up the mess that i left and kind of re arranged my room.
so what now...
now is the tough part. the part where you come home completely changed and your world that you left has remained the same. fighting the same fights with new energy and new perspective. but i feel good. really good. the best i have felt in years. i absolutely miss my dad, but let it be said that faith has completely been a comfort to me, and turned a seemingly dark hour into a time of rebirth and rejuvenation.
well there are plenty of stories from the road to com, and i hope the next post i can share some of the random things life has thrown my way that has made me smile lately. but for now it's late, and my bed is calling my name. God bless you my friends that read this. thanks you for your time and caring and i pray that God will bless you beyond what you can ask or imagine. and now i leave you with two of the scriptures that we read for dad. these have both developed a new meaning for me over the past few weeks and i hope they bless you as well.
psalms 23
the Lord is my shepherd i shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in the path of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
1 timothy 4:6-8
For i am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award me on that day-and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
one love, one heart.
my father passed away saturday august 26th, 2006. after more than two decades of fighting a brain tumor, his body is now at rest serving others while his spirit is with our God. Dad was nearing his 52nd birthday, and was happily married for more than 25 years. my mom, my sister and i miss him dearly, but are relieved and joyous that he is now without pain, and in a place of constant bliss.
i'd like to thank everyone for their kind comments, hugs and prayers.
the bio:
in his lifetime he grew up and went to college in arkansas, ran cross country, served as a helicopter pilot in the marines, worked for top gun, burger king, and alaska airlines. he taught fifth grade sunday school for more than a decade, served as a elder in the church for seven years and was always the last to leave the church building. he spent countless hours ministering to those around him, counseling young couples, inviting people out for ice cream after church and spent hours upon hours listening to the stories of those who were blessed to be around him. he took pride in a flower garden that included yellow roses for my mom, went to almost all of my baseball games, and was an avid fan of the inglewood jr high bands and eastlake volleyball teams that my sister was a part of. he managed to make people laugh even when he lost his ability to communicate clearly, and had a distinct chuckle and knee slap that made others feel funny as well. dad had a twinkle in his eye that made women feel beautiful and men appreciated, but was often overshadowed by a distinct smile that let everyone know that they were loved. he has countless 'adopted' sons and daughters and to date, one child named after him. he had several people that he referred to as best friends and countless more that he considered family.
the little things:
dad had a lot of little quirks about him that defined him so much more that anything you would ever think to ask. he loved to sleep in on saturdays, and it would often be well into the afternoon before we got started on any saturday projects. if mom was ever gone, he would always ask me and sarah to help him clean up the house before she got home. when we used to wrestle, he would always giggle, which drove me nuts because i never really could beat him. dad was a great artist. one of the few regrets i have about dad was that i never pushed him to create more art. some of his photography from china rivaled that of national geographic. he always wore his hat a little crooked. dad was never afraid to kiss mom in front of us. dad couldn't dance, but it was a common occurrence around our house to have some motown cranked up and our family grooving in the living room. whenever dad would pray he would get frustrated that the rest of us were still laughing at whatever it was that night that had us in stitches. he knew more little known facts about more random things, and he made sure to share with us whenever possible. dad had terrible form throwing a baseball, but never declined an offer to play catch. dad was always put together, his tie never showed from under his collar because he would ask me and sarah every week on the way to church to check for him. his shoes were always polished, nails trimmed, and he never looked out of date or inappropriate. dad loved to pull someone's leg, but he never let it get out of hand. he was a great chess player, lucky at backgammon and not so great at golf, but he enjoyed any activity he was doing. he was also in great shape despite putting away gallons of ice cream. i never beat him in a foot race. when i was little we used to watch the three stooges on some saturday afternoons, and dad would lay on the couch and i would lay down on his back so i could feel him laugh. on other saturday afternoons we would get up early and go visit some senior saints from church and spend some part of the day doing yard work, and most of the day listening to stories. dad never got everything he needed from home depot in one trip, we always had to go back for something we forgot. he wore the same style of topsiders and sunglasses for years. when it came to sports, dad was a fan of the hometown team, especially the underdogs.
my favorite moments:
there are so many memories that make me smile when i think about dad. my favorite moment was when i asked dad who his favorite baseball player was and he replied 'you are' without hesitation. i remember when dad wrote me a letter in fourth grade that said he was proud to be my father. one time we were at a gas station in a shady part of town and we thought that these guys were going to try and hurt the clerk. without hesitation dad got out of the truck and told me to lock the doors. he never got involved but had things escalated i have no doubt the marine in him would have snapped into action. i remember that was the first time i saw him as a soldier. i remember trips ever week down to the barber shop, and the time when i was seven when i got my first flattop. "this, this and this." the infamous lane six story when dad didn't see the giant six painted on the ground in front of him. the hug dad gave me when i told him i got accepted into college. there are a few others that qualify as favorites, but those are for me to keep to myself.
as for me...
to be honest, i feel really good. i miss dad a lot, but i feel better than i have in a long time. i didn't realize how crazy life had become wondering if every time the phone rang i would have to pack up and race home. i am so glad that i got see dad for a while before he passed. most of our family was there, and several friends as well. we sang songs and read the bible as dad got closer, and had several minutes of just the four of us. despite the sadness associated with that time, i will forever cherish that time with the people i care about the most. my mom shined as a pillar of faith, and my sister's compassion was awe inspiring. as for me, i felt like dad was imparting so much of his spirit unto me. one of the things that i have feared the most is how i am going to cope with the rest of my life without dad being there to guide me along. in those last few moments i felt coming over me this overwhelming sense of confidence and pride in knowing that my dad has equipped me to handle whatever comes my way. i cannot testify enough the role that faith played in these last few moments with dad. yes, we were sad, but we were also welcoming his departure. i was so tired of seeing my dad held back by a limited body. the feeling of knowing that he is free of pain and suffering has taken such a huge weight off of my shoulders. the verse in matthew 5 became so real to me at that moment; "blessed are those that mourn, for they will be comforted". i am so thankful to God that there are no regrets in my father's passing. my faith is so real to me now after being able to rejoice in these times.
the next few days:
the next few days were crazy to say the least. with so many family members and friends headed into town, the phone calls, the planning, the mourning, things are really a blur. i have to commend my aunt and our friends for planning a great service for dad in dallas. that made our lives so much easier. it was also a blessing to have such a close knit family. we may have our differences, but we truly shine in time like these. the stories, the laughter, the hugs, the meals. i enjoyed and appreciated every minute of my time with family and friends.
camden:
after a crazy week with family and friends, mi madre and i headed out to abilene to check on my sister and spend some time with her, and her friends. once i knew that everyone was doing all right, i decided to head out on my drive that i needed to go on. there were a lot of peripherals that i wanted visit or do, but the main item on my list of things to do was go visit camden arkansas where my dad grew up. i'm not sure why i went there, and i really wasn't sure what i was looking for, but whatever it was, i found it.
i left on a sunday afternoon from dallas and made it to camden around dinner time that night. the time went by pretty quickly with the help of some hank williams and willie nelson and a big pepsi to keep me company. it was also made shorter by the anticipation of something big, although i still can't put my finger on what it was.
my expectations were very high for my visit. all i had was an address. no directions, no names, just an address. i kind of envisioned finding some general store in town to walk into and ask some old guy where the street was and how i could get there. for some reason i also had this idea that i would find the house and there would be some family just sitting down to eat dinner. i would tell them about dad, and they would let me take pictures of the house and look around. there was even a small part of me that imagined seeing a younger version of my dad and uncle running through the streets. things were going as i had hoped as i arrived in camden, i stopped in at a church that was just getting out and was able to find out the location of the neighborhood that i was looking for. so i headed down the road past these nice country houses more towards the center of town (read mini mall with wal-mart at the center). i turned onto the side street that would take me to dad's neighborhood and i got kind of scared. i had been driving through miles of small country homes, white picket fences, the whole nine. i was now in a neighborhood that looked like it hadn't seen a coat of paint since my dad left thirty years ago. there were cars up on blocks in yards and people smoking joints on the front porches of several homes. i had to stop because it suddenly dawned on me that finding dad's home might actually not be a good thing. but i was too close to stop. a big part of me prepared for a huge letdown. i stopped and asked some guys working on their cars if they knew where the street was and they pointed impatiently down the road, 'second street on the left'. i drove to the street and was kind of grimacing because this was the worse street in the neighborhood. the whole street was covered in garbage and there were def plenty of backwoods looking folks just kind of milling around. i went down the street once and i didn't see the house, so i decided to give it one more shot. i did a u-turn and headed back up the street and finally found the house i was looking for. it was immaculate, the only house i had seen in blocks with a yard that was kept up, the bricks looked new, the paint was fresh... it looked like the house i wanted my dad to come from.
i mentioned my expectations before because i learned a valuable lesson at this point of my trip. so many times i build up huge expectations, or extremely low expectations, and many times the reality comes nowhere close to what i was expecting. as i was walking to the door of this house and waiting for someone to answer, i realized that my expectations had gone from one end of the spectrum to the complete opposite, now i was just hoping the person here would actually answer. and he did. a huge old guy hanging out of his boxers. this, i was not expecting. i kind of stuttered for a second before i introduced myself. i barely got my name out when he interrupted me, "i bought this house from a guy named iverson". "that's probably my granddad, i came here to see where my father grew up." simple, and to the point, although looking back i don't think this guy was exactly ready to give a tour of his home that sunday evening. but we talked for a couple of minutes, and then he let me take pictures of the house outside, while he went in and changed. after taking a few pictures i talked to the owner for a long time. we talked about what camden was like back in the day, the local sports teams, the paper mill my granddad used to work at... the weather. it was a good talk, and when it came time for me to leave i started to feel really relaxed. i thanked the man and headed a few blocks into town. i stopped in at wal mart to see if they had any local high school shirts or something, at the time i thought it would be cool to have a camden memento. kind of cheesy looking back, but looking back i think i just wasn't ready to leave town yet. that, and the high school that dad went to was replaced in 1994 by a new mega school that evidently was much needed. so i stopped in at an arby's in town and just hung out and kind did some people watching. it was weird to think that dad never really returned to camden. i was watching these kids from a youth group and i started trying to guess who would leave and never come back, and who would end up staying in camden for the rest of their lives. hmmm.
anyways, i hit the road again, not really sure where i was going next, but figuring it probably included oklahoma since i was in the vicinity (relatively). i felt this huge peace come over me that made the whole trip worth it. i can't exactly put my finger on what it was that made me feel so good, so we'll just chalk it up to God giving me a good day. it was great to see camden though, the road there was absolutely awesome, this back highway through trees and fields... and not a car in sight. i think i drove for thirty minutes at a time in between seeing cars. one thing i did notice was how much the road to dad's town reminded me of the road to church in seattle. it made a lot more sense driving down that road why dad never complained about the thirty minute drive to church in washington, it must have reminded him of home. he never said anything to me, but i like to think that was part of why dad was always in a good mood driving to and from church.
for the next couple of days i ventured around oklahoma, seeing people i needed to see, kids that i worked with, and people that i have come to call family. it was great. it also made me realize several things that have really put me at ease. first, there is no going back. i have always had in my mind this crazy fantasy that i could go back to the way things were if needed, if things ever got too tough to deal with, and i can't. maybe the reason dad never took us back to camden was that he didn't want to see his old neighborhood run down. for all of my stories about enjoying my time in oklahoma, that's what they are no, stories, memories, things to look back on and reflect, not a place to retreat.
my next big realization is how much of footprint i have left on the world. i am not saying i am some kind of big deal, but it was good to go back and see that i had impacted a few people's lives. one of the tough parts of my job is that most of my results are going to be measured over a long period of time, which i'm sure will pay off in the end, but can be tough to realize when you've got your head focused in the now.
catching up with friends. what a blessing. they truly are my muse and inspiration for a lot of my energy and thoughts. from my friends in youth ministry, to my family friends, to people that have come in for a while and seemingly disappeared, i have an army of people that i truly love. i am realizing lately exactly how blessed i am when it comes to friends.
God is big. there are some things that you can only figure out at 70 mph driving across the desert just after it rained. He wasn't using words, but pictures to tell me a story. i could only cheapen it by trying to tell you what He said to me, that and i don't really know exactly what i could say. it was a feeling. call it joy, call it whatever existential term you choose to use, but it was a good feeling.
and lastly, i am capable. according to wild at heart this is the thing that all guys want to know deep down. there is something about venturing across the country by yourself that makes you ask questions you never think of otherwise. the longer i drove the more capable i felt. i returned home energized and revived for my life here. i didn't make any big to-do about being home, i just went in a cleaned up the mess that i left and kind of re arranged my room.
so what now...
now is the tough part. the part where you come home completely changed and your world that you left has remained the same. fighting the same fights with new energy and new perspective. but i feel good. really good. the best i have felt in years. i absolutely miss my dad, but let it be said that faith has completely been a comfort to me, and turned a seemingly dark hour into a time of rebirth and rejuvenation.
well there are plenty of stories from the road to com, and i hope the next post i can share some of the random things life has thrown my way that has made me smile lately. but for now it's late, and my bed is calling my name. God bless you my friends that read this. thanks you for your time and caring and i pray that God will bless you beyond what you can ask or imagine. and now i leave you with two of the scriptures that we read for dad. these have both developed a new meaning for me over the past few weeks and i hope they bless you as well.
psalms 23
the Lord is my shepherd i shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.
He guides me in the path of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
1 timothy 4:6-8
For i am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award me on that day-and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
one love, one heart.
7.26.2006
i just up and...
there's a lot of random stuff on my mind so what better way to clear it all up then with a brand new blog!
i'd like to introduce a new feature on my blog I WAS WONDERING...
i was wondering...
why do fast food places have signs that read 'now hiring: inquire within'? where else are you going to inquire? are there people thinking to themselves, " i want to work at mcdonalds but i don't know where to go to get that job"?
who uses the term 'inquire'?
who buys stuff off of the shopping channels? does anyone i know own anything bought from an infomercial?
when do the people at the gas station change the price of gas? every day i drive by the same two gas stations near my house, and every day the prices are different. i've driven by them at all hours of the day and i still have yet to see anyone out there changing the sign. and when do the prices actually change? do they change the meter first or the price displayed on the street?
what happened to small drinks? i remember growing up there were four different drink cups; small, medium, large, and water. now there are medium, large, extra large, collectible/refillable and water. i can understand the sizes getting bigger, but why can't they still call it a small, that's what it is.
what about tapes. i remember having a decent size tape collection. they were a good stepping stone to cds. they were the first musical storage system that were easy to record on. however they don't have the nostalgia that vinyl records have, so i have to wonder what's happened to the tapes? they wore out after being played too much, and they were the most frustrating when it came to finding a particular song on an album, and they were kind of an odd shape that weren't huge, but weren't small either. but, there were millions of them. so the question is, where are all the tapes?
how do some stores stay in business? you know the store i'm talking about. it's the store right next to the grocery store in the strip mall by your house. the one that never has any cars parked in front, and the one you've walked by a million times and have never seen anyone shopping there. you don't know the name of store, and you might not know what's in there, and you probably won't remember until you go to get groceries sometime this week and you see it. how do they stay in business?
where did the phrase "i just up and..." come from? i hear it a lot in westerns when some old guy is talking jibberish, " i just up and moved outta dodge", or " i just up and bought me a new hat".
do psychiatrists have to talk to each other about the stuff that goes on at work? are there meetings where they get together and just cut loose on stories of the crazy stuff they hear? i can just imagine some exclusive back room at some country club is filled with guys telling stories like, "i've got this one guy who who put monkey bars up in his office and started throwing glue at his co-workers" and " oh yeah, one of my patients dresses up like tony from 'who's the boss' and calls everyone mona".
who first looked at a cow and said, "we gotta eat that".
why aren't there peppermint flavored sodas? everything else is peppermint flavored, candy, gum, mouthwash, medicine... why not a soda?
along the same lines... why aren't there soda flavored gum, candy and mouthwash?
_________________________________
prediction for the future:
psychologists and sociologists are going to have a field day with this one. the air conditioning in my office is not working right now (or ever) and it has been pretty miserable around here lately weather-wise. since my neighbors have an unprotected wireless internet router (thanks for letting piggyback whoever you are) and my air conditioner does work at the apt i was thinking about just working from home, and it got me to thinking...
i think in the future many office buildings will become residential buildings. how many people live in one building and travel to another building to work? at the rate of innovation i can't imagine there being a huge need to physically meet everyday at one location twenty years from now. so why not turn office buildings into residencies? obviously there would have to be some major refurbishing, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. with fewer people commuting to work, there would be a decrease in traffic and pollution, which would lead to less stressful work environments. also, taking commuting time out of the day would allow for more families to spend time together.
obviously not every job can be done from home, but if we could utilize these huge structures we have already in place, i think there could be a huge potential for preservation, or at least a slower rate of land consumption.
_______________________________
and for the more serious stuff...
i went to youthwave a couple of weeks ago, and i was really impressed by the way one week can change perspective on so many things. the goal of youthwave is to overcome obstacles in talking to your friends about God. we took training courses in the mornings, and hit the streets of los angeles in the afternoon. the goal was not to convert people on the street, but learn how to overcome fear of talking to them about God. it was a truly unique experience, and one that i hope to teach others.
one of the big lessons i learned that week was letting go. it's tough. sometime we forget that Jesus is in the boat with us and we worry about what we are going to do about the stormy waters. i saw 'we' meaning myself. it's an uncomfortable feeling, to let go, but the more i am able to do so, the more i feel capable of handling the tasks set before me. also, there is a certain pain that comes from trying to be in control all the time. when things don't go the way you want them to, it hurts. especially if it is something you have put a lot of energy into. i started thinking about this last time i was in dallas, and how much easier it is to let go of things now, then several years ago. there is so much less bitterness, and much more serenity, and a sense of place. hmmm.
well, to move on to a lighter note...
do you ever just start doing things differently for no apparent reason? in the past few weeks i've found myself doing so many thing differently than i have before. little things, quirks, habits, interests... for example: taco salads. i used to rag on our preacher, lawdog, about eating salads all the time, but for the past few weeks i've been all about taco salads. no reason, i just decided one day that i wanted one and i've been hooked ever since.
country music: one day i'm giving the cuz crap about cmt, the next day i'm listening to buck owens. go figure.
my shoes: i've always put my left shoe on first, now i'm putting my right one on first. no explanation.
soda: i used to hate drinking soda with ice in it, now i'm filling up with ice and barely getting any soda in the glass.
the weather channel: i usually set my alarm on my tv to sportscenter in the mornings, but i find myself lately turning to the weather channel as soon as i bother to find my remote. actually, this one i can explain. it's been triple digits here for the past two weeks and i'm waiting for the day when the high is going to be 73.
that's all for now i guess. lemme know what you're wondering about and what you 'just up and did'...
one love, one heart.
i'd like to introduce a new feature on my blog I WAS WONDERING...
i was wondering...
why do fast food places have signs that read 'now hiring: inquire within'? where else are you going to inquire? are there people thinking to themselves, " i want to work at mcdonalds but i don't know where to go to get that job"?
who uses the term 'inquire'?
who buys stuff off of the shopping channels? does anyone i know own anything bought from an infomercial?
when do the people at the gas station change the price of gas? every day i drive by the same two gas stations near my house, and every day the prices are different. i've driven by them at all hours of the day and i still have yet to see anyone out there changing the sign. and when do the prices actually change? do they change the meter first or the price displayed on the street?
what happened to small drinks? i remember growing up there were four different drink cups; small, medium, large, and water. now there are medium, large, extra large, collectible/refillable and water. i can understand the sizes getting bigger, but why can't they still call it a small, that's what it is.
what about tapes. i remember having a decent size tape collection. they were a good stepping stone to cds. they were the first musical storage system that were easy to record on. however they don't have the nostalgia that vinyl records have, so i have to wonder what's happened to the tapes? they wore out after being played too much, and they were the most frustrating when it came to finding a particular song on an album, and they were kind of an odd shape that weren't huge, but weren't small either. but, there were millions of them. so the question is, where are all the tapes?
how do some stores stay in business? you know the store i'm talking about. it's the store right next to the grocery store in the strip mall by your house. the one that never has any cars parked in front, and the one you've walked by a million times and have never seen anyone shopping there. you don't know the name of store, and you might not know what's in there, and you probably won't remember until you go to get groceries sometime this week and you see it. how do they stay in business?
where did the phrase "i just up and..." come from? i hear it a lot in westerns when some old guy is talking jibberish, " i just up and moved outta dodge", or " i just up and bought me a new hat".
do psychiatrists have to talk to each other about the stuff that goes on at work? are there meetings where they get together and just cut loose on stories of the crazy stuff they hear? i can just imagine some exclusive back room at some country club is filled with guys telling stories like, "i've got this one guy who who put monkey bars up in his office and started throwing glue at his co-workers" and " oh yeah, one of my patients dresses up like tony from 'who's the boss' and calls everyone mona".
who first looked at a cow and said, "we gotta eat that".
why aren't there peppermint flavored sodas? everything else is peppermint flavored, candy, gum, mouthwash, medicine... why not a soda?
along the same lines... why aren't there soda flavored gum, candy and mouthwash?
_________________________________
prediction for the future:
psychologists and sociologists are going to have a field day with this one. the air conditioning in my office is not working right now (or ever) and it has been pretty miserable around here lately weather-wise. since my neighbors have an unprotected wireless internet router (thanks for letting piggyback whoever you are) and my air conditioner does work at the apt i was thinking about just working from home, and it got me to thinking...
i think in the future many office buildings will become residential buildings. how many people live in one building and travel to another building to work? at the rate of innovation i can't imagine there being a huge need to physically meet everyday at one location twenty years from now. so why not turn office buildings into residencies? obviously there would have to be some major refurbishing, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. with fewer people commuting to work, there would be a decrease in traffic and pollution, which would lead to less stressful work environments. also, taking commuting time out of the day would allow for more families to spend time together.
obviously not every job can be done from home, but if we could utilize these huge structures we have already in place, i think there could be a huge potential for preservation, or at least a slower rate of land consumption.
_______________________________
and for the more serious stuff...
i went to youthwave a couple of weeks ago, and i was really impressed by the way one week can change perspective on so many things. the goal of youthwave is to overcome obstacles in talking to your friends about God. we took training courses in the mornings, and hit the streets of los angeles in the afternoon. the goal was not to convert people on the street, but learn how to overcome fear of talking to them about God. it was a truly unique experience, and one that i hope to teach others.
one of the big lessons i learned that week was letting go. it's tough. sometime we forget that Jesus is in the boat with us and we worry about what we are going to do about the stormy waters. i saw 'we' meaning myself. it's an uncomfortable feeling, to let go, but the more i am able to do so, the more i feel capable of handling the tasks set before me. also, there is a certain pain that comes from trying to be in control all the time. when things don't go the way you want them to, it hurts. especially if it is something you have put a lot of energy into. i started thinking about this last time i was in dallas, and how much easier it is to let go of things now, then several years ago. there is so much less bitterness, and much more serenity, and a sense of place. hmmm.
well, to move on to a lighter note...
do you ever just start doing things differently for no apparent reason? in the past few weeks i've found myself doing so many thing differently than i have before. little things, quirks, habits, interests... for example: taco salads. i used to rag on our preacher, lawdog, about eating salads all the time, but for the past few weeks i've been all about taco salads. no reason, i just decided one day that i wanted one and i've been hooked ever since.
country music: one day i'm giving the cuz crap about cmt, the next day i'm listening to buck owens. go figure.
my shoes: i've always put my left shoe on first, now i'm putting my right one on first. no explanation.
soda: i used to hate drinking soda with ice in it, now i'm filling up with ice and barely getting any soda in the glass.
the weather channel: i usually set my alarm on my tv to sportscenter in the mornings, but i find myself lately turning to the weather channel as soon as i bother to find my remote. actually, this one i can explain. it's been triple digits here for the past two weeks and i'm waiting for the day when the high is going to be 73.
that's all for now i guess. lemme know what you're wondering about and what you 'just up and did'...
one love, one heart.
6.29.2006
Bikers, Birthday parties and Baseball.
this post goes out to hub, one of the few and faithful bloggers out there that always seems to come up with some worthwhile stuff.
she had a post with five things she had recently discovered about herself, one of which struck a chord with me because of it's relevance to popular music. i'll expand on that later, for right now i'm going to go back to an old tradition on my blog, the top ten list. without further ado, here are my...
TOP TEN RECENT SELF DISCOVERIES
10. i can handle country music if it's really really old and makes modern nashville fans squirm. the cuz bought an old buck owens cd the other day and i've been rocking out to some old country for the past few days. i'm not sure why i like it, but it does get me some crazy looks from my kiddos and my neighbors when i roll up blaring some country twang.
9. newton's first law is true for me as well; an object at rest tends to stay at rest until acted upon by an other object. if i don't accomplish something constructive in the first hour of my day, the likeliness of me completing everything i wanted to do the rest of the day is pretty low. on the other hand, if i get up and get moving the second i'm at work i tend to get some crazy stuff done.
8. i'm a bi-polar neat freak. i think i've actually known this for a while, but never really put it into words. there are times where i go on a cleaning rampage and keep things in all kinds of order, and the there are times where its just good to see stuff all over the place.
7. my hobby is finding new hobbies. i have a long list of things that i would consider hobbies: guitar, songwriting, drawing, stenciling, painting, sculpting, photography, graphic design, baseball, golf, bike riding, hiking, snowboarding, watching movies, reading... the list goes on. here's the thing, i may not be the best at any one of those hobbies, but i have a legitimate interest in all of them. i think my hobby is going back and forth between all of them.
6. i feed off of my friends. not in a bad way, but i really get most of my inspiration and energy when i'm around my friends that kind of spur me on.
5. i can't handle when a picture isn't level. if i see something that isn't level i go right over and fix it without saying a word. lawdog is the biggest victim of this because i am constantly adjusting the pictures in his office.
4. i really really really really don't care about soccer. i tried to be open minded and watch a few of the world cup games and i think i like soccer less now. how can a game end in a tie? and anyone who says baseball is boring to watch and then tries to tell me that 75 minutes of a 0-0 game where guys kick a ball back and forth is exciting has lost their mind. seriously, i tried, i don't get it. soccer is lame.
3. i'm a flake. i need to learn the difference between i would like to do something vs. i can do something. i have a feeling that if you know me then i don't really need to explain this one. sorry.
2. recently, i am much more aware of the spiritual presence in seemingly mundane situations.
1. i still have a lot to figure out.
so going back to hub's post, she mentioned how she preferred bob dylan songs to be covered, rather than actually listening to bob dylan. i couldn't agree more. i think bob dylan is way overrated, and just happened to be the right band in the right place at the right time (see nirvana). call me a traitor to my generation, but there are several bands/ pop culture events that i just don't get, and/or think are way overrated. and because i'm always a fan of a good deal, i'm going to give you a second top ten list for free.
TOP TEN OVERRATED/ I DON"T GET IT POP CULTURE THINGS/PEOPLE
10. Reality TV. If survival is real, then so is wrestling. sidenote: why do they need writers for a reality tv show?
9. Horror/ Vampire movies. one makes it big, thirty more will follow.
8. Celebrity Babies. ugh, i feel stupid for having typed those letters together.
7. Computer animation movies. i think the magic wore off after shrek. i'm just not really impressed anymore.
6. Prince. quick, name three people you know that own a prince album.
5. Neil Young. is it just me or does he look like every police sketch of a deadbeat dad? and do you actually know anyone outside of the pacific northwest that lists him as a favorite? art teachers don't count.
4. American Idol. although i do like watching the would-be karaoke tryouts, i have an issue with forcing the public to recognize someone as famous. also, do you really need to win to get a record contract? not really. it's a pointless competition.
3. Entertainment news. "All the entertainment news you need to know". really? click.
2. (tie) Radiohead/White Stripes. It's going to be tough to explain to our kids how this was the music for our generation supposedly.
1. Soccer. Read previous notes.
what else is there...
oh yeah, so i finally got my record player up and going so i can now listen to all of my old records. i feel like a real musical elitist now. i can say that some stuff does sound way better on a vinyl than cd or mp3, but im not sold on all types of music. jazz: yes. ska: yes. captain and tenille (yes my dad actually bought that record) a definite no. i do have to say that it was cool last night to throw on some old duke ellington records and just chill for a few minutes before i went to bed. last night was def a peaceful night's sleep until the plant lady's car alarm went off at 3am. but as far as vinyl goes, i'm sold. i'm taking inventory of the records i have soon (for insurance purposes) i'll post what i have sometime in the future, it's a pretty impressive list, mainly because dad had an awesome collection from back in the day.
and speaking of music...
anyone who has actually read my blog for a while might remember that i've been working off and on for a while on writing music with the hope that eventually i can record my own cd.
well, i've ranted enough today. the kiddos are calling and my lunch break is up. to all the bloggers out there, feel free to vent on whatever.
one love, one heart.
she had a post with five things she had recently discovered about herself, one of which struck a chord with me because of it's relevance to popular music. i'll expand on that later, for right now i'm going to go back to an old tradition on my blog, the top ten list. without further ado, here are my...
TOP TEN RECENT SELF DISCOVERIES
10. i can handle country music if it's really really old and makes modern nashville fans squirm. the cuz bought an old buck owens cd the other day and i've been rocking out to some old country for the past few days. i'm not sure why i like it, but it does get me some crazy looks from my kiddos and my neighbors when i roll up blaring some country twang.
9. newton's first law is true for me as well; an object at rest tends to stay at rest until acted upon by an other object. if i don't accomplish something constructive in the first hour of my day, the likeliness of me completing everything i wanted to do the rest of the day is pretty low. on the other hand, if i get up and get moving the second i'm at work i tend to get some crazy stuff done.
8. i'm a bi-polar neat freak. i think i've actually known this for a while, but never really put it into words. there are times where i go on a cleaning rampage and keep things in all kinds of order, and the there are times where its just good to see stuff all over the place.
7. my hobby is finding new hobbies. i have a long list of things that i would consider hobbies: guitar, songwriting, drawing, stenciling, painting, sculpting, photography, graphic design, baseball, golf, bike riding, hiking, snowboarding, watching movies, reading... the list goes on. here's the thing, i may not be the best at any one of those hobbies, but i have a legitimate interest in all of them. i think my hobby is going back and forth between all of them.
6. i feed off of my friends. not in a bad way, but i really get most of my inspiration and energy when i'm around my friends that kind of spur me on.
5. i can't handle when a picture isn't level. if i see something that isn't level i go right over and fix it without saying a word. lawdog is the biggest victim of this because i am constantly adjusting the pictures in his office.
4. i really really really really don't care about soccer. i tried to be open minded and watch a few of the world cup games and i think i like soccer less now. how can a game end in a tie? and anyone who says baseball is boring to watch and then tries to tell me that 75 minutes of a 0-0 game where guys kick a ball back and forth is exciting has lost their mind. seriously, i tried, i don't get it. soccer is lame.
3. i'm a flake. i need to learn the difference between i would like to do something vs. i can do something. i have a feeling that if you know me then i don't really need to explain this one. sorry.
2. recently, i am much more aware of the spiritual presence in seemingly mundane situations.
1. i still have a lot to figure out.
so going back to hub's post, she mentioned how she preferred bob dylan songs to be covered, rather than actually listening to bob dylan. i couldn't agree more. i think bob dylan is way overrated, and just happened to be the right band in the right place at the right time (see nirvana). call me a traitor to my generation, but there are several bands/ pop culture events that i just don't get, and/or think are way overrated. and because i'm always a fan of a good deal, i'm going to give you a second top ten list for free.
TOP TEN OVERRATED/ I DON"T GET IT POP CULTURE THINGS/PEOPLE
10. Reality TV. If survival is real, then so is wrestling. sidenote: why do they need writers for a reality tv show?
9. Horror/ Vampire movies. one makes it big, thirty more will follow.
8. Celebrity Babies. ugh, i feel stupid for having typed those letters together.
7. Computer animation movies. i think the magic wore off after shrek. i'm just not really impressed anymore.
6. Prince. quick, name three people you know that own a prince album.
5. Neil Young. is it just me or does he look like every police sketch of a deadbeat dad? and do you actually know anyone outside of the pacific northwest that lists him as a favorite? art teachers don't count.
4. American Idol. although i do like watching the would-be karaoke tryouts, i have an issue with forcing the public to recognize someone as famous. also, do you really need to win to get a record contract? not really. it's a pointless competition.
3. Entertainment news. "All the entertainment news you need to know". really? click.
2. (tie) Radiohead/White Stripes. It's going to be tough to explain to our kids how this was the music for our generation supposedly.
1. Soccer. Read previous notes.
what else is there...
oh yeah, so i finally got my record player up and going so i can now listen to all of my old records. i feel like a real musical elitist now. i can say that some stuff does sound way better on a vinyl than cd or mp3, but im not sold on all types of music. jazz: yes. ska: yes. captain and tenille (yes my dad actually bought that record) a definite no. i do have to say that it was cool last night to throw on some old duke ellington records and just chill for a few minutes before i went to bed. last night was def a peaceful night's sleep until the plant lady's car alarm went off at 3am. but as far as vinyl goes, i'm sold. i'm taking inventory of the records i have soon (for insurance purposes) i'll post what i have sometime in the future, it's a pretty impressive list, mainly because dad had an awesome collection from back in the day.
and speaking of music...
anyone who has actually read my blog for a while might remember that i've been working off and on for a while on writing music with the hope that eventually i can record my own cd.
well, i've ranted enough today. the kiddos are calling and my lunch break is up. to all the bloggers out there, feel free to vent on whatever.
one love, one heart.
6.12.2006
You could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock and catch the Reverend Cleophus James.
Como estas blogworld.
So my last few posts have been pretty serious, or at the very least very pointed, so I decided to take a break this post and go back to my old stream-of-consciousness style that we all hold near and dear. So without further ado, here are the latest ramblings…
The sounds of driving. I love driving with the windows down. Chalk it up as one of life’s simple pleasures, but I love listening to things fly by as I speed down the freeway. I was out driving today and I realized that there is an almost soothing musical quality to the sound of the highway. I actually did a lot of driving this week, which is prob not the cheapest of hobbies, but I find the more I drive, the more calm and relaxed I am, and the more I have my thoughts together. On Wednesday, I had to drive down to pepperdine, then up the pch to Oxnard and back to simi, and while I was out I had some awesome thoughts I was able to put together for my sermon today. Yesterday I was out driving with a friend, which is how we end up spending most of our time hanging out, and we had one of the greatest conversations ever. Today, I was driving down south, and I didn’t even bother turning on the radio for the entire time I was on the road. In a world where it is really hard to get find silence, I guess having an audio getaway is truly a blessing.
Speaking of sounds, I’ve been in a bit of a musical slump lately. Any of you that know me, know that I’m always finding new music, and kind of recycling through my old stuff to make it new again. Anyways, I was looking through itunes this week for some new music, and I really wasn’t interested in any of my typical punk, reggae, ska or whatever else I listen to. So I decided to go old school and I ran across my new favorite artist, james brown. You know how when you watch a Jackie chan movie, you leave the theater feeling like you know karate? That’s kind of like james brown and dancing. I dare you to listen to james brown for a while and not get up and move around. It’s unreal. So much energy and passion, I should have been listening to him years ago. Anyways, it was a fun week for me musically, and I’m really glad no one has caught me in my office sliding around on the pergo with my socks on.
I thought this was kind of funny, so I would like to point out the train of thought that brought me to my next paragraph: james brown>funk>soundtracks>movies>car wash>…
Getting my car washed. I love going to the car wash. Tyra is the first vehicle I’ve owned that I actually cared about keeping clean. Not only that, but socal is kind of a funny place when it comes to car washes. It’s almost like regular maintenance for your vehicle, but it really is taken to an extreme out here. You really don’t see a lot of dirty cars out here, and there are so many gas stations out here that have car washes. In a two block radius from one of the main intersections by my house, there are three gas station car washes, and two full service car washes. By full service I am of course referring to the places where you have a seating area where you can watch your car go through the automated washing process, and then be hand dried, waxed and detailed by a whole platoon of attendants. At my favorite place, lenny dykstra’s auto center, they even have a baseball memorabilia section to occupy your attention. So I can relax, have a pepsi, check out some 86 mets memorabilia and leave with a ride that smells of coconut. Anyways, it’s one of those things about socal that we take very seriously, and I have def been sucked into that desire to have a clean ride.
Sundays are tough for me from a sleeping standpoint. I am a big fan of the Sunday afternoon nap, however those naps tend to lead to late night think-sessions where you’re not really tired enough to go to sleep when you should, kind of like the one I am currently smack dab in the middle of.
Is it just me, or is it really easy to embarrass yourself playing volleyball?
We were talking about fair-food tonite at dinner, and I had to ask the question, “who was the first guy that looked at a twinkie and decided it needed to be fried?”
I was looking for a new pair of jeans the other day, and I found a pair that cost over a hundred bucks. I immediately set them down because I assumed there would be a charge for looking at them, or some sort of ‘re-folding’ fee. Seriously, I would love for someone to explain to me the justification for spending that much on a pair of jeans.
By the way, I think the employees of stores that offer hundred dollar plus jeans have to pass some sort of service test to prove they can instantly recognize and ignore customers like me who laugh at their prices.
I was wondering what those things at the end of shoelaces are called. The official name is ‘aglet’. Totally random information, but you know the next time you look at your shoelaces, you are going to try and remember what they are called.
I was reading this book ‘freakonomics’ the other day and this particular chapter really captured my attention. It was talking about how the KKK used the control of information to perpetuate fear. They had a whole system of code words and secret handshakes that allowed them to communicate without giving themselves away. One man infiltrated the KKK and learned all of their secret code words and handshakes, with the sole purpose of taking down the entire organization. In a genius move, he gave all of his notes to the producers of the old superman tv show, and they did an entire episode on the klan, and exposed all of their secrets. Some of the terms were so laughable that it all but destroyed the entire group, and they have (fortunately) never recovered from the exposure.
Going back to the lighter stuff, I always wonder how much people that work at those little kiosks in the middle of the mall hate their jobs. Seriously, who wants to work at a fake hair stand in the middle of the mall?
And to end these ramblings, I want to share with you a dream I had the other night. For anyone that has read this blog for a while, you know that I can’t stand tim mccarver, one of the announcers for fox baseball that I have to endure every postseason. Seriously, the guy is easily the worst broadcaster on the air. Here are a few of his gems:
"In the time it's taken to play this game you could have flown from Baltimore to Iceland."
"Watch Darren Daulton use his mitt like a glove."
"He wears his hat like a left hander!"
"There is a world of difference between a count of one ball and two strikes is a lot different situation than hitting with two strikes and one ball."
"As a new day begins in New York, the sun sets in Hawaii."
I think you get the picture. Anyways, I had this dream that I was on a sports gameshow, and tim mccarver was the host. I got an answer right, and he said I got it wrong, we started yelling at each other and then the judges finally stepped in and gave me the answer. I then told mccarver he sucked as an announcer. I soon became a celebrity making the rounds on different news channels and sports shows as the guy who told off tim mccarver. Fox news refered to me as ‘the voice of a generation’, and I even got interviewed by the guys from baseball tonight. When all was said and done I was offered a job as a sports broadcaster/ analyst. Pretty sweet dream.
Well, speaking of dreams, it’s time for me to hit the sack. One love, one heart.
So my last few posts have been pretty serious, or at the very least very pointed, so I decided to take a break this post and go back to my old stream-of-consciousness style that we all hold near and dear. So without further ado, here are the latest ramblings…
The sounds of driving. I love driving with the windows down. Chalk it up as one of life’s simple pleasures, but I love listening to things fly by as I speed down the freeway. I was out driving today and I realized that there is an almost soothing musical quality to the sound of the highway. I actually did a lot of driving this week, which is prob not the cheapest of hobbies, but I find the more I drive, the more calm and relaxed I am, and the more I have my thoughts together. On Wednesday, I had to drive down to pepperdine, then up the pch to Oxnard and back to simi, and while I was out I had some awesome thoughts I was able to put together for my sermon today. Yesterday I was out driving with a friend, which is how we end up spending most of our time hanging out, and we had one of the greatest conversations ever. Today, I was driving down south, and I didn’t even bother turning on the radio for the entire time I was on the road. In a world where it is really hard to get find silence, I guess having an audio getaway is truly a blessing.
Speaking of sounds, I’ve been in a bit of a musical slump lately. Any of you that know me, know that I’m always finding new music, and kind of recycling through my old stuff to make it new again. Anyways, I was looking through itunes this week for some new music, and I really wasn’t interested in any of my typical punk, reggae, ska or whatever else I listen to. So I decided to go old school and I ran across my new favorite artist, james brown. You know how when you watch a Jackie chan movie, you leave the theater feeling like you know karate? That’s kind of like james brown and dancing. I dare you to listen to james brown for a while and not get up and move around. It’s unreal. So much energy and passion, I should have been listening to him years ago. Anyways, it was a fun week for me musically, and I’m really glad no one has caught me in my office sliding around on the pergo with my socks on.
I thought this was kind of funny, so I would like to point out the train of thought that brought me to my next paragraph: james brown>funk>soundtracks>movies>car wash>…
Getting my car washed. I love going to the car wash. Tyra is the first vehicle I’ve owned that I actually cared about keeping clean. Not only that, but socal is kind of a funny place when it comes to car washes. It’s almost like regular maintenance for your vehicle, but it really is taken to an extreme out here. You really don’t see a lot of dirty cars out here, and there are so many gas stations out here that have car washes. In a two block radius from one of the main intersections by my house, there are three gas station car washes, and two full service car washes. By full service I am of course referring to the places where you have a seating area where you can watch your car go through the automated washing process, and then be hand dried, waxed and detailed by a whole platoon of attendants. At my favorite place, lenny dykstra’s auto center, they even have a baseball memorabilia section to occupy your attention. So I can relax, have a pepsi, check out some 86 mets memorabilia and leave with a ride that smells of coconut. Anyways, it’s one of those things about socal that we take very seriously, and I have def been sucked into that desire to have a clean ride.
Sundays are tough for me from a sleeping standpoint. I am a big fan of the Sunday afternoon nap, however those naps tend to lead to late night think-sessions where you’re not really tired enough to go to sleep when you should, kind of like the one I am currently smack dab in the middle of.
Is it just me, or is it really easy to embarrass yourself playing volleyball?
We were talking about fair-food tonite at dinner, and I had to ask the question, “who was the first guy that looked at a twinkie and decided it needed to be fried?”
I was looking for a new pair of jeans the other day, and I found a pair that cost over a hundred bucks. I immediately set them down because I assumed there would be a charge for looking at them, or some sort of ‘re-folding’ fee. Seriously, I would love for someone to explain to me the justification for spending that much on a pair of jeans.
By the way, I think the employees of stores that offer hundred dollar plus jeans have to pass some sort of service test to prove they can instantly recognize and ignore customers like me who laugh at their prices.
I was wondering what those things at the end of shoelaces are called. The official name is ‘aglet’. Totally random information, but you know the next time you look at your shoelaces, you are going to try and remember what they are called.
I was reading this book ‘freakonomics’ the other day and this particular chapter really captured my attention. It was talking about how the KKK used the control of information to perpetuate fear. They had a whole system of code words and secret handshakes that allowed them to communicate without giving themselves away. One man infiltrated the KKK and learned all of their secret code words and handshakes, with the sole purpose of taking down the entire organization. In a genius move, he gave all of his notes to the producers of the old superman tv show, and they did an entire episode on the klan, and exposed all of their secrets. Some of the terms were so laughable that it all but destroyed the entire group, and they have (fortunately) never recovered from the exposure.
Going back to the lighter stuff, I always wonder how much people that work at those little kiosks in the middle of the mall hate their jobs. Seriously, who wants to work at a fake hair stand in the middle of the mall?
And to end these ramblings, I want to share with you a dream I had the other night. For anyone that has read this blog for a while, you know that I can’t stand tim mccarver, one of the announcers for fox baseball that I have to endure every postseason. Seriously, the guy is easily the worst broadcaster on the air. Here are a few of his gems:
"In the time it's taken to play this game you could have flown from Baltimore to Iceland."
"Watch Darren Daulton use his mitt like a glove."
"He wears his hat like a left hander!"
"There is a world of difference between a count of one ball and two strikes is a lot different situation than hitting with two strikes and one ball."
"As a new day begins in New York, the sun sets in Hawaii."
I think you get the picture. Anyways, I had this dream that I was on a sports gameshow, and tim mccarver was the host. I got an answer right, and he said I got it wrong, we started yelling at each other and then the judges finally stepped in and gave me the answer. I then told mccarver he sucked as an announcer. I soon became a celebrity making the rounds on different news channels and sports shows as the guy who told off tim mccarver. Fox news refered to me as ‘the voice of a generation’, and I even got interviewed by the guys from baseball tonight. When all was said and done I was offered a job as a sports broadcaster/ analyst. Pretty sweet dream.
Well, speaking of dreams, it’s time for me to hit the sack. One love, one heart.
5.31.2006
who runs into a plane?
so the cuz was flying back from florida today, and he just called to tell me that he was going to be getting in late because they had to change planes. evidently a food service truck ran into his plane. seriously, who runs into a plane? just thought that might bring you a good laugh.
one love, one heart.
one love, one heart.
5.23.2006
"there are two stories to every side"
thanks mom for the quote.
baseball.
if you're reading this, then you probably already know that i'm a baseball fanatic, at the very least baseball has a lot of meaning to me. the astros were in town a couple of weeks ago, and i went to another game this past weekend so i've been thinking a lot lately about how much i love going to ballgames, and the impact they have had in my life. mi padre had season tickets when we lived in san diego, and the story is told around our house that dad drew a circle on the map around the stadium to look for a house, and his first circle was still in the parking lot at jack murphy stadium. supposedly, the home we ended up living in was on the line of the second, bigger circle. at the very least, we lived close to the stadium when we lived in san diego, and i got to go to a bunch of ballgames growing up. so i've been thinking a lot about the wisdom that dad shared with me through the years lately, and how much of that came from our time spent at baseball games together. i guess you could call this part...
life lessons my dad taught me at baseball games:
NEVER LEAVE THE GAME EARLY. we would stay until the last out, because you never know what you are going to miss. it could be 10-1 and dad would still be in his seat, because until that last out was called, there was always a chance of something spectacular happening. such is life. there is always the chance that today is going to be an absolutely spectacular day, even if it doesn't appear that way. never give up.
THERE IS MORE GOING ON THAN WHAT YOU CAN SEE. the thing about baseball that a lot of people don't understand, is exactly how much thinking is going on at every moment of the game. sure, baseball doesn't have the pace that other sports have, but there are so many subtleties that go unnoticed. on every pitch, every player has to make split second decisions on what they are to do if the ball comes their way, and keep in mind literally hundreds of little factors like speed of the runners, spin on the ball, texture of the grass... then there's the whole decision making process of what pitch to throw, on what count, to what batters... and it should be mentioned that these guys are there for hours before the game actually starts practicing for that night. i think this is downright spiritual. there is so much more going on in this world that what we simply see. it would be foolish of us to assume that a pitcher is just arbitrarily throwing balls across the plate. it would also be foolish of us to assume that God is not involved with every moment of our lives. just because we can't always see it, or don't notice it, does not mean that it is not happening, and having a huge impact.
CHEER YOUR TEAM ON, NEVER BOO THE OTHER TEAM. i never understood this as a kid, but the more i look back, the more i realize that everyone mi padre knows, respects him. i think a lot of it has to do with that 'never boo a person' mentality that he had. i remember dad being angry at calls, frustrated at players, and distraught over losses, but he kept everything in perspective and never said anything derogatory to another person. if you make fun of someone else, then people around you are going to assume that you do the same about them. not a good way to build trust, but def a good judge of character.
THERE ARE SEVEN WAYS TO GET ON FIRST BASE: hit, walk, hit-by-pitch, fielder's choice, error, dropped third strike, and catcher's interference. there is more than one way to do almost anything, and we all have different God-given gifts to travel different paths. the important thing to remember here is, either way, you end up on first base. my life is not going to mirror your life, and truly being aware of that not only encourages acceptance of others, but it allows others the ability to chart their own course.
I BUY, YOU FLY. dad never charged me for a ticket to a ballgame, but it was my responsibility to go to the concession stands to get our food. he would give me the money, and i would go get two hot dogs and two cokes for us to enjoy. this sounds simple, but look at the trust mi padre showed from the eyes of a 7-14 year old. dad trusts me with his money. dad trusts me to get what he ordered. dad trusts me in this crowd of 30,000 people to be okay. dad trusts me get our food. you think i ever spilled a drop of his diet coke, or came back w/o the correct amount of change? not a chance. i wasn't afraid that he would get mad, i just wanted to keep his trust, and show him that i was the right man for the job.
PARK AND WALK. we would always park on the outer ring of the parking lot and hike our way in to the stadium. i always complained about this because growing up, we're typically taught by society to go after the best everything. dad never worried about the best parking spot. the people that did go after that 'best spot' typically had to spend a lot longer looking for one, and were usually stuck, in traffic longer on the way out. the first will be last, and the last will be first. it's so easy to go after the things that appear to be 'the best', and spend a good deal of time letting that consume you. so much in fact, that you might miss what you were there for in the first place. we never missed an inning of baseball looking for a spot to park.
IT'S OKAY TO VENTURE AROUND THE STADIUM. i have to laugh at this one, because it probably caused mom a fair amount of stress. me and dad typically went to baseball games ourselves, but every season when the astros would come to town, mom and sarah would come too. when it was just me and dad, he would let me wander around the stadium (i knew every spot that sold the best baseball cards in the whole stadium) and chase after foul balls. can you imagine a seven year old sitting still nine innings of baseball? not happening. when mom was at the ballgame though, i always laughed, because dad would say 'go have fun', and mom would always say 'be careful'. i laughed because if she knew how well i knew the ball park she wouldn't worry about me, but here's the deal. dad said what a dad needed to say, and mom said what a mom needed to say. i knew my mom loved me enough to be concerned about where i was going, and my dad loved me enough to let me have my adventure. God cares for us more than we'll ever imagine, but he still wants us to go out and adventure, he never asks us to sit still through nine innings.
YOU DON'T NEED COTTON CANDY. i mentioned earlier that dad would buy me a hot dog and a coke at every ballgame, what i left out of that part was that anything after that was going to be bought with my own money. occasionally dad would buy me an extra coke or some ice cream, but we never spent money on stuff like cotton candy or those little bats, or pennants or anything we didn't need. i wish i followed this lesson more closely, because it was truly an invaluable life lesson. call it the 'value of a dollar' lesson. the reason dad never bought me that stuff was not that he didn't want me to have it, but he wanted me to earn what i bought. i can not recall dad spending a dime on baseball cards for me. but he did pay me to shine his shoes so i could have spending money. looking at my baseball card collection today you would assume that dad's shoes are still holding their polish.
TONY GWYNN. one of the best hitters in baseball never really looked the part, but man could he hit. tony gwynn is a shoe in for the hall of fame, and was always the guy that dad told me to look at for examples on how to play the game. the thing about gwynn was that he wasn't never much of a power hitter, but he always managed to hit the ball. fans are easily drawn to the home run hitter, but a true fan knows that someone who hits for average is much more valuable and consistent. gwynn was patient at the plate, had a discerning eye, and almost never struck out looking. he played for the same team his whole career, and he never argued a call. if he had played for a major market team like the yankees or braves, i have no doubt that he would have been much more popular, but he played every game of his career for the same team, and that earned him the respect of millions of san diegans. see, we love the people that get the most attention, that hit the most home runs, but often times it is the guy that is doing his job well, day after day, that we should look up to. tony gwynn was laughed at because of his size and shape, and i'm sure if he had the look he could have stretched a few more singles to doubles, but that wasn't what concerned him. what concerned gwynn was putting that bat to the ball at every chance.
ALWAYS RUN TO FIRST. i remember dad used to say this a lot. his point was that anytime in baseball that first base was yours, you should get there as quickly as possible. if you had a hit, you obviously wanted to get there quickly, if you were leading off and you wanting to avoid being picked off, you would get there quickly, but there are sometimes we forget the urgency to get to base. if you get walked, don't take your time, get to first. maybe the catcher dropped the ball and you can get an extra base out of it, or maybe it shows that you have no regrets and are ready to take advantage of your situation. an even better example was after getting hit by a pitch. before craig biggio shattered the hit by pitch record, there was a guy in san diego, tim flannery, who was always getting plunked. and he o matter how bad it was, when he made his way to first, he was always running. run it off, don't dwell, don't try and force sympathy, just take your base. dad had a lot of respect for flannery and his ability to shake things off and get to running the bases. i've got a lot of respect for people who don't try and force me to empathize. you got hit, i feel bad for you, and i can't imagine how bad that hurts, but you'll be okay, it's time to take your base.
FUNDAMENTALS WIN GAMES. this is probably my favorite of all of these, mainly because it is so true. the more errors you commit in a game, the more likely you are to lose that game. in spring training baseball players young and old start with the very basics of the game and practice them over and over. run. hit. catch. throw. when you execute the mundane, menial, necessary tasks, the likeliness of you accomplishing your goal is excellent. relying on grand slams, or next to impossible catches is a dangerous way to play baseball. if you want a great life, do your homework, go to school, continually learn, work hard at your job, and reap the benefits. dad was never one to play the lottery, he never relied on that one in a million shot to make things better. sure we had amazing things happen to us, but i think that was more a reward for his continuous execution of the fundamentals of running a family.
well this turned into something a lot longer than i had originally planned, but it's all good. i think i'll continue with a couple more things from my dad and then it's time to head home. mi padre is full of all kinds of useful wisdom, and not all of it pertains to baseball. last week when i was back in texas with the fam, we were kind of joking about some of the little philosophies that pops has, so we came up with this:
THINGS DAD SAID, WOULD HAVE SAID, OR SHOULD HAVE SAID:
doing the right thing is always the right thing to do.
take every new couple at church out for ice cream.
beautiful is not a way to describe how someone looks, but a way to describe who they are.
you are more than your job title.
don't let your work define who you are.
be more than nice and friendly, be memorable.
compliment the person on who they are, as well as what they have accomplished.
heart, action, attitude... in that order.
fight to live.
do not confuse being meek with weakness, it takes much more power to hold back when you are capable.
get up early on saturdays and spend the morning helping a widow.
respecting the elderly involves a cup of coffee, and a lot of listening.
and lastly, i want to leave you with a poem that my dad wrote for my sister about three years ago. like my sister says, coming from him these words mean mean a lot.
life is an opportunity, benefit from it
life is beauty, admire it
life is a dream, realize it
life is a challenge, meet it
life is a game, play it
life is a promise, fulfill it
life is sorrow, overcome it
life is luck, make it
life is life-- fight for it!
one love, one heart.
baseball.
if you're reading this, then you probably already know that i'm a baseball fanatic, at the very least baseball has a lot of meaning to me. the astros were in town a couple of weeks ago, and i went to another game this past weekend so i've been thinking a lot lately about how much i love going to ballgames, and the impact they have had in my life. mi padre had season tickets when we lived in san diego, and the story is told around our house that dad drew a circle on the map around the stadium to look for a house, and his first circle was still in the parking lot at jack murphy stadium. supposedly, the home we ended up living in was on the line of the second, bigger circle. at the very least, we lived close to the stadium when we lived in san diego, and i got to go to a bunch of ballgames growing up. so i've been thinking a lot about the wisdom that dad shared with me through the years lately, and how much of that came from our time spent at baseball games together. i guess you could call this part...
life lessons my dad taught me at baseball games:
NEVER LEAVE THE GAME EARLY. we would stay until the last out, because you never know what you are going to miss. it could be 10-1 and dad would still be in his seat, because until that last out was called, there was always a chance of something spectacular happening. such is life. there is always the chance that today is going to be an absolutely spectacular day, even if it doesn't appear that way. never give up.
THERE IS MORE GOING ON THAN WHAT YOU CAN SEE. the thing about baseball that a lot of people don't understand, is exactly how much thinking is going on at every moment of the game. sure, baseball doesn't have the pace that other sports have, but there are so many subtleties that go unnoticed. on every pitch, every player has to make split second decisions on what they are to do if the ball comes their way, and keep in mind literally hundreds of little factors like speed of the runners, spin on the ball, texture of the grass... then there's the whole decision making process of what pitch to throw, on what count, to what batters... and it should be mentioned that these guys are there for hours before the game actually starts practicing for that night. i think this is downright spiritual. there is so much more going on in this world that what we simply see. it would be foolish of us to assume that a pitcher is just arbitrarily throwing balls across the plate. it would also be foolish of us to assume that God is not involved with every moment of our lives. just because we can't always see it, or don't notice it, does not mean that it is not happening, and having a huge impact.
CHEER YOUR TEAM ON, NEVER BOO THE OTHER TEAM. i never understood this as a kid, but the more i look back, the more i realize that everyone mi padre knows, respects him. i think a lot of it has to do with that 'never boo a person' mentality that he had. i remember dad being angry at calls, frustrated at players, and distraught over losses, but he kept everything in perspective and never said anything derogatory to another person. if you make fun of someone else, then people around you are going to assume that you do the same about them. not a good way to build trust, but def a good judge of character.
THERE ARE SEVEN WAYS TO GET ON FIRST BASE: hit, walk, hit-by-pitch, fielder's choice, error, dropped third strike, and catcher's interference. there is more than one way to do almost anything, and we all have different God-given gifts to travel different paths. the important thing to remember here is, either way, you end up on first base. my life is not going to mirror your life, and truly being aware of that not only encourages acceptance of others, but it allows others the ability to chart their own course.
I BUY, YOU FLY. dad never charged me for a ticket to a ballgame, but it was my responsibility to go to the concession stands to get our food. he would give me the money, and i would go get two hot dogs and two cokes for us to enjoy. this sounds simple, but look at the trust mi padre showed from the eyes of a 7-14 year old. dad trusts me with his money. dad trusts me to get what he ordered. dad trusts me in this crowd of 30,000 people to be okay. dad trusts me get our food. you think i ever spilled a drop of his diet coke, or came back w/o the correct amount of change? not a chance. i wasn't afraid that he would get mad, i just wanted to keep his trust, and show him that i was the right man for the job.
PARK AND WALK. we would always park on the outer ring of the parking lot and hike our way in to the stadium. i always complained about this because growing up, we're typically taught by society to go after the best everything. dad never worried about the best parking spot. the people that did go after that 'best spot' typically had to spend a lot longer looking for one, and were usually stuck, in traffic longer on the way out. the first will be last, and the last will be first. it's so easy to go after the things that appear to be 'the best', and spend a good deal of time letting that consume you. so much in fact, that you might miss what you were there for in the first place. we never missed an inning of baseball looking for a spot to park.
IT'S OKAY TO VENTURE AROUND THE STADIUM. i have to laugh at this one, because it probably caused mom a fair amount of stress. me and dad typically went to baseball games ourselves, but every season when the astros would come to town, mom and sarah would come too. when it was just me and dad, he would let me wander around the stadium (i knew every spot that sold the best baseball cards in the whole stadium) and chase after foul balls. can you imagine a seven year old sitting still nine innings of baseball? not happening. when mom was at the ballgame though, i always laughed, because dad would say 'go have fun', and mom would always say 'be careful'. i laughed because if she knew how well i knew the ball park she wouldn't worry about me, but here's the deal. dad said what a dad needed to say, and mom said what a mom needed to say. i knew my mom loved me enough to be concerned about where i was going, and my dad loved me enough to let me have my adventure. God cares for us more than we'll ever imagine, but he still wants us to go out and adventure, he never asks us to sit still through nine innings.
YOU DON'T NEED COTTON CANDY. i mentioned earlier that dad would buy me a hot dog and a coke at every ballgame, what i left out of that part was that anything after that was going to be bought with my own money. occasionally dad would buy me an extra coke or some ice cream, but we never spent money on stuff like cotton candy or those little bats, or pennants or anything we didn't need. i wish i followed this lesson more closely, because it was truly an invaluable life lesson. call it the 'value of a dollar' lesson. the reason dad never bought me that stuff was not that he didn't want me to have it, but he wanted me to earn what i bought. i can not recall dad spending a dime on baseball cards for me. but he did pay me to shine his shoes so i could have spending money. looking at my baseball card collection today you would assume that dad's shoes are still holding their polish.
TONY GWYNN. one of the best hitters in baseball never really looked the part, but man could he hit. tony gwynn is a shoe in for the hall of fame, and was always the guy that dad told me to look at for examples on how to play the game. the thing about gwynn was that he wasn't never much of a power hitter, but he always managed to hit the ball. fans are easily drawn to the home run hitter, but a true fan knows that someone who hits for average is much more valuable and consistent. gwynn was patient at the plate, had a discerning eye, and almost never struck out looking. he played for the same team his whole career, and he never argued a call. if he had played for a major market team like the yankees or braves, i have no doubt that he would have been much more popular, but he played every game of his career for the same team, and that earned him the respect of millions of san diegans. see, we love the people that get the most attention, that hit the most home runs, but often times it is the guy that is doing his job well, day after day, that we should look up to. tony gwynn was laughed at because of his size and shape, and i'm sure if he had the look he could have stretched a few more singles to doubles, but that wasn't what concerned him. what concerned gwynn was putting that bat to the ball at every chance.
ALWAYS RUN TO FIRST. i remember dad used to say this a lot. his point was that anytime in baseball that first base was yours, you should get there as quickly as possible. if you had a hit, you obviously wanted to get there quickly, if you were leading off and you wanting to avoid being picked off, you would get there quickly, but there are sometimes we forget the urgency to get to base. if you get walked, don't take your time, get to first. maybe the catcher dropped the ball and you can get an extra base out of it, or maybe it shows that you have no regrets and are ready to take advantage of your situation. an even better example was after getting hit by a pitch. before craig biggio shattered the hit by pitch record, there was a guy in san diego, tim flannery, who was always getting plunked. and he o matter how bad it was, when he made his way to first, he was always running. run it off, don't dwell, don't try and force sympathy, just take your base. dad had a lot of respect for flannery and his ability to shake things off and get to running the bases. i've got a lot of respect for people who don't try and force me to empathize. you got hit, i feel bad for you, and i can't imagine how bad that hurts, but you'll be okay, it's time to take your base.
FUNDAMENTALS WIN GAMES. this is probably my favorite of all of these, mainly because it is so true. the more errors you commit in a game, the more likely you are to lose that game. in spring training baseball players young and old start with the very basics of the game and practice them over and over. run. hit. catch. throw. when you execute the mundane, menial, necessary tasks, the likeliness of you accomplishing your goal is excellent. relying on grand slams, or next to impossible catches is a dangerous way to play baseball. if you want a great life, do your homework, go to school, continually learn, work hard at your job, and reap the benefits. dad was never one to play the lottery, he never relied on that one in a million shot to make things better. sure we had amazing things happen to us, but i think that was more a reward for his continuous execution of the fundamentals of running a family.
well this turned into something a lot longer than i had originally planned, but it's all good. i think i'll continue with a couple more things from my dad and then it's time to head home. mi padre is full of all kinds of useful wisdom, and not all of it pertains to baseball. last week when i was back in texas with the fam, we were kind of joking about some of the little philosophies that pops has, so we came up with this:
THINGS DAD SAID, WOULD HAVE SAID, OR SHOULD HAVE SAID:
doing the right thing is always the right thing to do.
take every new couple at church out for ice cream.
beautiful is not a way to describe how someone looks, but a way to describe who they are.
you are more than your job title.
don't let your work define who you are.
be more than nice and friendly, be memorable.
compliment the person on who they are, as well as what they have accomplished.
heart, action, attitude... in that order.
fight to live.
do not confuse being meek with weakness, it takes much more power to hold back when you are capable.
get up early on saturdays and spend the morning helping a widow.
respecting the elderly involves a cup of coffee, and a lot of listening.
and lastly, i want to leave you with a poem that my dad wrote for my sister about three years ago. like my sister says, coming from him these words mean mean a lot.
life is an opportunity, benefit from it
life is beauty, admire it
life is a dream, realize it
life is a challenge, meet it
life is a game, play it
life is a promise, fulfill it
life is sorrow, overcome it
life is luck, make it
life is life-- fight for it!
one love, one heart.
5.01.2006
ipod shuffle (stolen from my sister)
yeah so i typically don't like surveys, but this one was kind of up my alley so i stole it off of my sister's blog. it ended up being funny enough to make me want to actually post it.
Directions: Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. No cheating! How am I feeling today? eleven - primus Will I get far in life? woodstock national anthem - jimi hendrix
How do my friends see me? save me - unwritten law
When will I get married? when she believes - ben harper (so many comments, so little time) What's my theme song? pressure and release - chris murray (yeah, this one hits the nail on the head) What is the story of my life? The Lark ascending or (perhaps more accurately, i'm trying to make you sing) - david crowder band How can I get ahead in life? the righteous and the wicked -red hot chili peppers
What is my best feature? walk away - zebrahead (i will leave this one alone) How is tomorrow going to be? don't push - sublime
What is in store for this weekend? aesthetics - king apparatus
What is my life like at the moment? wanted dead or alive - the slackers
What song describes my secrets? on my mind - donavon frankenrieter (so true yet again) What song will they play at my funeral?: do or die - dogwood
How does the world see me? hanging on a star - nick drake Will I have a happy life? time will tell - bob marley What do my friends really think of me? gonna find you - operation ivy Will I accomplish my goals in life? mr. smooth guy - suburban rhythm Will I find true love? dirt roads - subseven (does this mean i have to go back to oklahoma?) How do I treat others?
i want to be a cholo- manic hispanic (that's awesome!)
well, i'm officially one of those quiz people now. great. i guess signing up for facebook is all that i have left to accomplish to have the internet community cornered. i think i'll sell out tomorrow.
one love, one heart.
Directions: Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. No cheating! How am I feeling today? eleven - primus Will I get far in life? woodstock national anthem - jimi hendrix
How do my friends see me? save me - unwritten law
When will I get married? when she believes - ben harper (so many comments, so little time) What's my theme song? pressure and release - chris murray (yeah, this one hits the nail on the head) What is the story of my life? The Lark ascending or (perhaps more accurately, i'm trying to make you sing) - david crowder band How can I get ahead in life? the righteous and the wicked -red hot chili peppers
What is my best feature? walk away - zebrahead (i will leave this one alone) How is tomorrow going to be? don't push - sublime
What is in store for this weekend? aesthetics - king apparatus
What is my life like at the moment? wanted dead or alive - the slackers
What song describes my secrets? on my mind - donavon frankenrieter (so true yet again) What song will they play at my funeral?: do or die - dogwood
How does the world see me? hanging on a star - nick drake Will I have a happy life? time will tell - bob marley What do my friends really think of me? gonna find you - operation ivy Will I accomplish my goals in life? mr. smooth guy - suburban rhythm Will I find true love? dirt roads - subseven (does this mean i have to go back to oklahoma?) How do I treat others?
i want to be a cholo- manic hispanic (that's awesome!)
well, i'm officially one of those quiz people now. great. i guess signing up for facebook is all that i have left to accomplish to have the internet community cornered. i think i'll sell out tomorrow.
one love, one heart.
4.25.2006
Semper Fidelis.
faithful / adj. 1. loyal, constant, and steadfast 2. plural n. having a strong belief 3. true to the facts or the original
this word has been on my mind a lot lately. i was looking up pictures of my dad's helicopter he used to fly, and i kept running across these marine corps websites with semper fidelis all over the place. semper fidelis is latin for always faithful, and has been the marine's motto since their inception.
so i started thinking about faithfulness, and how it relates to me specifically and these things came to mind as examples of me being faithful:
towards the end of high school i had a tough decision where to go for college. i applied for several public universities as a back up, but i knew God wanted me to go to a christian college. i remember being adamant about this, and never really wavering when it came to trusting God about where i should go to college. as a reward, i think God made it a very obvious decision when it finally came time to finally choose. and despite all of the griping i did about oklahoma, i would not be half the man i am today if it weren't for the growth that i went through at oc. i look back at my time in oklahoma with nothing but fond memories and praises to God for blessing me more than i deserved.
juaner. i would have never been friends with juaner if we hadn't been stuck in the same apt together. it's sad to say, but at that point in my life i was so close minded when it came to who i should be friends with. i remember praying to God that he give me the patience to deal with the 'frat boy- soccer playing- oregonian- psych major- transfer' that i was going to have to live with. juaner is now one of my best friends, and i thank the Lord constantly for the rock that guided me towards youth ministry. i'm just glad that God rewarded me for being trusting enough to look at juaner through His eyes, and not my own.
speaking of friends, there are three guys that were at my third birthday that i still refer to as my best friends. (i know i have a lot of best friends, most have to have prefaces like college, or new, or back in the day. these guys don't.) our relationships were forged through years of growing up in the church, and despite our distance and the frequency with which we talk, i have no doubt that we will go to our graves as best friends. what a blessing to be rewarded with lifelong friends. this may be a stretch when it comes to faithfulness, but i can't imagine us ever not being friends, and i think that helps remind me of the type of ongoing, forgiving love that God has for us.
my parents. i can honestly say that i never had a doubt about my parent's faithfulness through their twenty five years of marriage so far. it seems like the more they are tested, the stronger they bond to each other and to God. in a world were one in every two marriages end prematurely, it is a huge blessing to know that your parents are both going to be there for you. i hope this doesn't sound too self righteous, but i have had a soft heart lately for the kids of divorced, or a single parent homes. i don't know how they do it, but they manage to make it through life at a disadvantage. God bless them and provide them with the love that they need to survive. going back to my parents though, i feel like i have been rewarded for my parent's faithfulness with a confidence and knowledge of God's love that has always been a guide to me.
my job. i decided halfway through my junior year of college that i wasn't going to be a graphic designer. my grades were terrible that year and i was put on academic probation. i remember praying to God to show me the right thing to do. that summer i was forced to live at home and work and take some online classes to catch up. i was pretty humbled, and i was working landscaping, spending most of my days to myself because i couldn't speak spanish. i was really humbled. but, i spent a lot of my free time hanging out with the two interns we had at woodinville, and realizing that youth ministry was a viable option for me. i told my parents that summer that i would finish up my degree in advertising design, but i would be taking extra youth ministry classes when i could. they were very supportive. actually, they asked me what took me so long to figure it out, they had known all along. anyways, the next summer i did an internship in weatherford ok, where i was offered a job. i turned it down because i knew there would be someone more effective for a small town in the long run. on the way back to school after that summer i spent time with dantheman and lukestrong, and they said i should look into doing a semester at park plaza after i graduated. the second day of school, i met with mr wild at heart himself, and he said he would be proud to have any friend of dantheman's come work at park plaza. he said i could def do a summer there, and could probably stay till i found a job. i stayed there until i felt that i had to go home to take care of mi padre and was blessed by every minute of my time there.
moving back home. i never wanted to be 23 and living at home. i also never wanted mi padre to retire before his 50th birthday. but i knew the right thing to do was to head home and take care of pops until mom had the summer off. i knew right off the bat that God was rewarding me for doing the right thing. that time with my dad was invaluable, and i am increasingly aware of how much i wish i could have held on to that time.
but i had to leave. going back to the job hunt, i was turned down by several churches, that i was sure were 'the one'. i was picky when i was looking for a job, and i didn't want to settle. i felt called to be in southern california doing youth ministry, and i was willing to wait for God to provide with the right place. several things fell apart, and it began to look like no one wanted to hire a youth minister with no experience, no bible degree, and no wife. on the last day of my internship in san diego i received a job offer from simi. talk about having to trust God, oh man. i have to say, though, that i was confident that God would provide me the right place at the right time, and He did.
females. these stories so far have gone in sequential order, but they have also progressed in the amount of faith that it has taken for me to trust that God had everything under His control. when i was in college, i just wanted to be able to have a big group of friends that shared my faith. i had a lot of catching up to do socially, and that's what happened. when i moved to tulsa, i asked God to keep females off of my mind for a year so i could focus on ministry. He did, and almost to the day a year later i met up again with nursegirl. the only thing i place as more important than where i am meant to work, is who i should spend my life with, so i really shouldn't complain and/or doubt that God will once again reward me for my faithfulness. i think this one is way underrated considering the time we live in.
so the question i have for myself now is why should i ever not be faithful to God after He has rewarded me so many times? why isn't faithfulness on the forefront of my mind more often? why has it taken me so long to realize this? what is it that God is doing right now to strengthen my faith?
i know i have left out an obvious example of faithfulness when it comes to mi padre, and that is intentional. i open myself up a lot on my posts, but today i need to keep some things to myself for the time being. perhaps in a few days i can revisit this with a post about my dad, but not today. i hope you understand.
anyways, i hope this has been an encouragement to anyone that has read this. i would love to hear your stories about faithfulness, so feel free to respond. (i know thornton has a few, he better put something up here.)
one love, one heart.
this word has been on my mind a lot lately. i was looking up pictures of my dad's helicopter he used to fly, and i kept running across these marine corps websites with semper fidelis all over the place. semper fidelis is latin for always faithful, and has been the marine's motto since their inception.
so i started thinking about faithfulness, and how it relates to me specifically and these things came to mind as examples of me being faithful:
towards the end of high school i had a tough decision where to go for college. i applied for several public universities as a back up, but i knew God wanted me to go to a christian college. i remember being adamant about this, and never really wavering when it came to trusting God about where i should go to college. as a reward, i think God made it a very obvious decision when it finally came time to finally choose. and despite all of the griping i did about oklahoma, i would not be half the man i am today if it weren't for the growth that i went through at oc. i look back at my time in oklahoma with nothing but fond memories and praises to God for blessing me more than i deserved.
juaner. i would have never been friends with juaner if we hadn't been stuck in the same apt together. it's sad to say, but at that point in my life i was so close minded when it came to who i should be friends with. i remember praying to God that he give me the patience to deal with the 'frat boy- soccer playing- oregonian- psych major- transfer' that i was going to have to live with. juaner is now one of my best friends, and i thank the Lord constantly for the rock that guided me towards youth ministry. i'm just glad that God rewarded me for being trusting enough to look at juaner through His eyes, and not my own.
speaking of friends, there are three guys that were at my third birthday that i still refer to as my best friends. (i know i have a lot of best friends, most have to have prefaces like college, or new, or back in the day. these guys don't.) our relationships were forged through years of growing up in the church, and despite our distance and the frequency with which we talk, i have no doubt that we will go to our graves as best friends. what a blessing to be rewarded with lifelong friends. this may be a stretch when it comes to faithfulness, but i can't imagine us ever not being friends, and i think that helps remind me of the type of ongoing, forgiving love that God has for us.
my parents. i can honestly say that i never had a doubt about my parent's faithfulness through their twenty five years of marriage so far. it seems like the more they are tested, the stronger they bond to each other and to God. in a world were one in every two marriages end prematurely, it is a huge blessing to know that your parents are both going to be there for you. i hope this doesn't sound too self righteous, but i have had a soft heart lately for the kids of divorced, or a single parent homes. i don't know how they do it, but they manage to make it through life at a disadvantage. God bless them and provide them with the love that they need to survive. going back to my parents though, i feel like i have been rewarded for my parent's faithfulness with a confidence and knowledge of God's love that has always been a guide to me.
my job. i decided halfway through my junior year of college that i wasn't going to be a graphic designer. my grades were terrible that year and i was put on academic probation. i remember praying to God to show me the right thing to do. that summer i was forced to live at home and work and take some online classes to catch up. i was pretty humbled, and i was working landscaping, spending most of my days to myself because i couldn't speak spanish. i was really humbled. but, i spent a lot of my free time hanging out with the two interns we had at woodinville, and realizing that youth ministry was a viable option for me. i told my parents that summer that i would finish up my degree in advertising design, but i would be taking extra youth ministry classes when i could. they were very supportive. actually, they asked me what took me so long to figure it out, they had known all along. anyways, the next summer i did an internship in weatherford ok, where i was offered a job. i turned it down because i knew there would be someone more effective for a small town in the long run. on the way back to school after that summer i spent time with dantheman and lukestrong, and they said i should look into doing a semester at park plaza after i graduated. the second day of school, i met with mr wild at heart himself, and he said he would be proud to have any friend of dantheman's come work at park plaza. he said i could def do a summer there, and could probably stay till i found a job. i stayed there until i felt that i had to go home to take care of mi padre and was blessed by every minute of my time there.
moving back home. i never wanted to be 23 and living at home. i also never wanted mi padre to retire before his 50th birthday. but i knew the right thing to do was to head home and take care of pops until mom had the summer off. i knew right off the bat that God was rewarding me for doing the right thing. that time with my dad was invaluable, and i am increasingly aware of how much i wish i could have held on to that time.
but i had to leave. going back to the job hunt, i was turned down by several churches, that i was sure were 'the one'. i was picky when i was looking for a job, and i didn't want to settle. i felt called to be in southern california doing youth ministry, and i was willing to wait for God to provide with the right place. several things fell apart, and it began to look like no one wanted to hire a youth minister with no experience, no bible degree, and no wife. on the last day of my internship in san diego i received a job offer from simi. talk about having to trust God, oh man. i have to say, though, that i was confident that God would provide me the right place at the right time, and He did.
females. these stories so far have gone in sequential order, but they have also progressed in the amount of faith that it has taken for me to trust that God had everything under His control. when i was in college, i just wanted to be able to have a big group of friends that shared my faith. i had a lot of catching up to do socially, and that's what happened. when i moved to tulsa, i asked God to keep females off of my mind for a year so i could focus on ministry. He did, and almost to the day a year later i met up again with nursegirl. the only thing i place as more important than where i am meant to work, is who i should spend my life with, so i really shouldn't complain and/or doubt that God will once again reward me for my faithfulness. i think this one is way underrated considering the time we live in.
so the question i have for myself now is why should i ever not be faithful to God after He has rewarded me so many times? why isn't faithfulness on the forefront of my mind more often? why has it taken me so long to realize this? what is it that God is doing right now to strengthen my faith?
i know i have left out an obvious example of faithfulness when it comes to mi padre, and that is intentional. i open myself up a lot on my posts, but today i need to keep some things to myself for the time being. perhaps in a few days i can revisit this with a post about my dad, but not today. i hope you understand.
anyways, i hope this has been an encouragement to anyone that has read this. i would love to hear your stories about faithfulness, so feel free to respond. (i know thornton has a few, he better put something up here.)
one love, one heart.
4.20.2006
Beethoven was deaf. Helen Keller was blind. I think Rocky's got a good chance.
so this blog is more about blogging out of habit, and trying to keep to somewhat of a structure, which i guess really is the theme for the past few days. after simplifying my life for the past few weeks (months, maybe), and trimming down my expectations to a necessary few, i feel much more capable of creating some sort of structure to my life. it's a lot tougher than it sounds, esp when you've never really one to build structures. anyways, i'm pretty stoked for myself over the past week or so because i feel like what i want to do, and what i'm actually doing are starting to get closer in line with each other. it's funny how the most random stuff can provide the biggest inspiration. going snowboarding last week has really provided me with a lot of motivation in general, i guess you would call it a sense of accomplishment. add to that a weekend of hanging out with some of my favorite people, and the fact that the sun is actually sticking around for a few days, and i'm feeling pretty energetic and enthused about getting things done. on monday (my day off) i had a list of about twenty five things that i wanted to get done, and i did every single one of them. seriously, i've never accomplished that much in one day. it was amazing. i should probably clarify that none of those things were major undertakings, but still, it is nice to look at that day's to-do-list and see everything crossed off. i was so stoked about getting that much done, that i actually kept the list and i think i'm going to put it up in my office as a reminder of how good it feels to get a bunch of stuff done.
speaking of putting stuff up in my office, i finally decided what to put up on my blank wall that i stare at every day. i wanted something inspirational, so i went out and got a nice rocky poster to complete the office. as cheesy as it sounds, there have been several times in the past few days where i've imagined myself bouncing around the office listening to the rocky theme imitating the finale of the training scene where he's on top of the steps... yeah. so if you happen to sneak up to the office there's a good chance you're going to see me with my fists in the air blasting the theme from rocky (or whatever version it was that i bought off of itunes).
going back to having things ordered, i guess there really is a balance to how much order is good, and when too much order is kind of a bad thing. call this my orson welles part of my blog. maybe this has more to do with automation than order, but there's something i've started to notice about automation and customer service. i use my card to pay for everything, which makes keeping up with my finances a lot easier, but it makes going to the store seem very robotic. i go to the store, i pick up my stuff, and instead of actually interacting with whoever is behind the counter, i'm typically busy punching in my pin code or signing the automated screens. really, the only thing the person behind the counter is there to do is assist me in bagging. at wal mart and home depot, they've even managed to forgo that with self checkout lines. trust me, i love having the self checkout lines to avoid dealing with incompetence behind the register, but it creeps me out that it is getting easier and easier for people to not have any social interaction. if i wanted to disappear from society, or go an entire day w/o having to talk to anyone i think i could pull it off pretty easily. i know there are days where that's exactly what i want to do, but what about the people that have no motivation to interact with others. should we really provide them with the ability to do so? hmmm, just something that was on my mind.
what else is there...
i may have finally crossed a boundary that i had set for myself. my goal was to go as long as i could owning only what i could fit in the back of my truck. i haven't tested it out, and i don't plan on it soon, but i think after actually buying a bedframe on monday, i may have exceeded my limit. maybe. actually, since i got rid of my bed springs maybe i actually have less stuff. nevermind, i think i can still fit all of my stuff in my truck. all is well.
so a few of my guys decided to come to church early and we played our increasingly popular sport; puddingball. it's pretty much what it sounds like, we hit old pudding cups from the 99 cent store with a bat and try to spray each other with pudding. tonite we even branched out and got some old melons and thrashed them too. i also introduced them to the art of antiquing, or covering someone with flour so that they look like they've been asleep for about fifty years. needless to say it was a good day of youth ministry.
well on that note, i think i'm going to go home and watch a movie or something.
i hope that while you are reading this you feel blessed. one love, one heart.
speaking of putting stuff up in my office, i finally decided what to put up on my blank wall that i stare at every day. i wanted something inspirational, so i went out and got a nice rocky poster to complete the office. as cheesy as it sounds, there have been several times in the past few days where i've imagined myself bouncing around the office listening to the rocky theme imitating the finale of the training scene where he's on top of the steps... yeah. so if you happen to sneak up to the office there's a good chance you're going to see me with my fists in the air blasting the theme from rocky (or whatever version it was that i bought off of itunes).
going back to having things ordered, i guess there really is a balance to how much order is good, and when too much order is kind of a bad thing. call this my orson welles part of my blog. maybe this has more to do with automation than order, but there's something i've started to notice about automation and customer service. i use my card to pay for everything, which makes keeping up with my finances a lot easier, but it makes going to the store seem very robotic. i go to the store, i pick up my stuff, and instead of actually interacting with whoever is behind the counter, i'm typically busy punching in my pin code or signing the automated screens. really, the only thing the person behind the counter is there to do is assist me in bagging. at wal mart and home depot, they've even managed to forgo that with self checkout lines. trust me, i love having the self checkout lines to avoid dealing with incompetence behind the register, but it creeps me out that it is getting easier and easier for people to not have any social interaction. if i wanted to disappear from society, or go an entire day w/o having to talk to anyone i think i could pull it off pretty easily. i know there are days where that's exactly what i want to do, but what about the people that have no motivation to interact with others. should we really provide them with the ability to do so? hmmm, just something that was on my mind.
what else is there...
i may have finally crossed a boundary that i had set for myself. my goal was to go as long as i could owning only what i could fit in the back of my truck. i haven't tested it out, and i don't plan on it soon, but i think after actually buying a bedframe on monday, i may have exceeded my limit. maybe. actually, since i got rid of my bed springs maybe i actually have less stuff. nevermind, i think i can still fit all of my stuff in my truck. all is well.
so a few of my guys decided to come to church early and we played our increasingly popular sport; puddingball. it's pretty much what it sounds like, we hit old pudding cups from the 99 cent store with a bat and try to spray each other with pudding. tonite we even branched out and got some old melons and thrashed them too. i also introduced them to the art of antiquing, or covering someone with flour so that they look like they've been asleep for about fifty years. needless to say it was a good day of youth ministry.
well on that note, i think i'm going to go home and watch a movie or something.
i hope that while you are reading this you feel blessed. one love, one heart.
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